Conversation Inspired by Meghan
KungFuEchidna: oh man
KungFuEchidna: so I just came up with a superpower that I'd want, that would both be awesome in its constructive abilities for the world AND ALSO WEAPONIZABLE
kylodeath: conflicting qualities indeed
KungFuEchidna: (on of the other questions someone submitted was "If the powers of flight, super speed, and super strength were unavailable, what super power would you want? (Because EVERYBODY fucking says flight and I'm tired of that.)"
kylodeath: flight is the best, that's why
kylodeath: who picks speed or strength, really
kylodeath: unless you could be so fast that you could essentially stop time
kylodeath: but then you'd probably die
kylodeath: because you'd be going so fast
kylodeath: so you'd be the guy with the power to commit suicide
kylodeath: which is lame
kylodeath: that better not be the one you picked
kylodeath: because if it is
kylodeath: man
kylodeath: I just...
kylodeath: man
KungFuEchidna: I'd want the ability to resurrect an organism , from a single dead piece of itself. Note that if I had multiple pieces of the same organism, I could resurrect multiple copies of the organism. I'd also have a gun full of bone fragments or petrified wood chunks, and I'd shoot up a dude, touch him, and BAM he'd explode with babies.seedlings!
KungFuEchidna: the period s supposed to be a slash.
kylodeath: couldn't you just shoot him with bullets instead?
kylodeath: or at least, you know, shoot him with bone fragments or petrified wood chunks?
kylodeath: an then just be like: "I guess that's that"
KungFuEchidna: and your argument will be, "but why not just, you know, shoot him up with bullets?" and to that I say, EXPLODING. FULL OF BABIES. A bullet can only do so much damage, especially with my aim
KungFuEchidna: oh, man, I called that
KungFuEchidna: I could also make brass knuckles out of shark teeth...
kylodeath: well, make sure to stipulate that the resurrected organism enters the world with explosive force
KungFuEchidna: but mainly, I would use it to solve murders and resurrect species
kylodeath: cause it'd sure be disappointing to be "now LIVE!" and the bone chunks would sort of try to squeeze into the spare space around them and the seedlings would only grow to be the size of bonsai
kylodeath: I guess if you were ever faced with a situation in which the ship containing the perfect being was destroyed by Mangalore attack and all they could recover from the crash site was a single hand you could probably do something about reviving the perfect being.
kylodeath: but would you be able to create a sexy outfit?
kylodeath: all made from seatbelts
KungFuEchidna: Are you kidding? you've seen dandelions take on sidewalks before? Human flesh would be TOAST
KungFuEchidna: and yes. Seatbelt suits would be a must
kylodeath: otherwise there would be naked people everywhere!
KungFuEchidna: well, to be fair, there would be naked babies everywhere, and people would generally be okay with that
KungFuEchidna: because of a lack of taboos and such
kylodeath: oh
kylodeath: babies
kylodeath: that wouldnt' be useful!
kylodeath: how would you solve crimes with that?
KungFuEchidna: well, I was gong to specifically use baby bone for the bullets
kylodeath: oh, ok
kylodeath: I thought you were saying that everybody would be resurrected in natal form
KungFuEchidna: because a bunch of dudes who just woke up from the dead, covered in still-warm flesh, surrounded by clones of themselves containing the same memories, would be much more traumatized than a pile of identical octuplets
kylodeath: would you be able to support their heads? baby necks are all rolly
KungFuEchidna: this actually brings up a good point. I pretty much invisioned me shooting someone full of babies, and then moving on to the next henchmen
kylodeath: but what about the babies!
KungFuEchidna: I didn't really have a support system in place for all the children I'd create
kylodeath: think of the children
kylodeath: you should also request the power to create orphanages with a snap of your fingers
kylodeath: and porridge
KungFuEchidna: maybe I'll use raptor bone instead. Of one raptor, that I trained to love me, that I then euthanized in its sleep.
KungFuEchidna: that way I'd both be exploding them AND creating an army
kylodeath: whoa, plus you'd have a badass backstory
kylodeath: you be all abrooding, thinking about when you killed stella for the good of mankind
KungFuEchidna: and raptors don't know fear, so emerging from the bowels of a henchman would be more akin to appearing in a pile of kibble than anything
kylodeath: or the eventual disemboweling of mankind
KungFuEchidna: indeed!
KungFuEchidna: Batman would have nothing on that. I'd be killing loved ones left and right, because saving them would be a lot easier if I only had to hold onto a finger than lug a screaming, useless civilian through all of my battles
kylodeath: what if they had nice shoes on?
KungFuEchidna: This brings up the other bothersome thing: You'd think Lois Lane would start dressing more practically, knowing she'd have to outrun explosions in abandoned warehouses every other weekend
kylodeath: You just don't understand
kylodeath: Lois Lane has an image to uphold. Sure, she's a lady working in a man's world, but that's all the more reason for her to maintain a smart image
kylodeath: A pair of heels accentuates a finely-turned calf, crucial for those skirt-blazer numbers we've been seeing all over Metropolis
KungFuEchidna: but she's a lady working in a man's world in which she's always being thrown over the shoulder of some burly dude who proceeds to fly her through most of the city streets. You'd think she'd at least wear a longer skirt
kylodeath: And look like a schoolmarm while she's at it
kylodeath: think about it
kylodeath: Do you ever see Superman rescuing some dowdy plain-Jane?
KungFuEchidna: better than giving most of the city an Exclusive Look at Lois' Panties!
KungFuEchidna: hmm. that's actually a good point
kylodeath: No. Lois' impractical outfits are a matter of survival.
KungFuEchidna: it's a survival mechanism
KungFuEchidna: like the distinctive coloration of cleaner fish!
KungFuEchidna: she's just making sure that she's noticed
kylodeath: Meanwhile, sightings of frumpy women about Metropolis continue to decrease in number.
kylodeath: soon they will be all but eliminated from the population
KungFuEchidna: yay!
KungFuEchidna: so I just came up with a superpower that I'd want, that would both be awesome in its constructive abilities for the world AND ALSO WEAPONIZABLE
kylodeath: conflicting qualities indeed
KungFuEchidna: (on of the other questions someone submitted was "If the powers of flight, super speed, and super strength were unavailable, what super power would you want? (Because EVERYBODY fucking says flight and I'm tired of that.)"
kylodeath: flight is the best, that's why
kylodeath: who picks speed or strength, really
kylodeath: unless you could be so fast that you could essentially stop time
kylodeath: but then you'd probably die
kylodeath: because you'd be going so fast
kylodeath: so you'd be the guy with the power to commit suicide
kylodeath: which is lame
kylodeath: that better not be the one you picked
kylodeath: because if it is
kylodeath: man
kylodeath: I just...
kylodeath: man
KungFuEchidna: I'd want the ability to resurrect an organism , from a single dead piece of itself. Note that if I had multiple pieces of the same organism, I could resurrect multiple copies of the organism. I'd also have a gun full of bone fragments or petrified wood chunks, and I'd shoot up a dude, touch him, and BAM he'd explode with babies.seedlings!
KungFuEchidna: the period s supposed to be a slash.
kylodeath: couldn't you just shoot him with bullets instead?
kylodeath: or at least, you know, shoot him with bone fragments or petrified wood chunks?
kylodeath: an then just be like: "I guess that's that"
KungFuEchidna: and your argument will be, "but why not just, you know, shoot him up with bullets?" and to that I say, EXPLODING. FULL OF BABIES. A bullet can only do so much damage, especially with my aim
KungFuEchidna: oh, man, I called that
KungFuEchidna: I could also make brass knuckles out of shark teeth...
kylodeath: well, make sure to stipulate that the resurrected organism enters the world with explosive force
KungFuEchidna: but mainly, I would use it to solve murders and resurrect species
kylodeath: cause it'd sure be disappointing to be "now LIVE!" and the bone chunks would sort of try to squeeze into the spare space around them and the seedlings would only grow to be the size of bonsai
kylodeath: I guess if you were ever faced with a situation in which the ship containing the perfect being was destroyed by Mangalore attack and all they could recover from the crash site was a single hand you could probably do something about reviving the perfect being.
kylodeath: but would you be able to create a sexy outfit?
kylodeath: all made from seatbelts
KungFuEchidna: Are you kidding? you've seen dandelions take on sidewalks before? Human flesh would be TOAST
KungFuEchidna: and yes. Seatbelt suits would be a must
kylodeath: otherwise there would be naked people everywhere!
KungFuEchidna: well, to be fair, there would be naked babies everywhere, and people would generally be okay with that
KungFuEchidna: because of a lack of taboos and such
kylodeath: oh
kylodeath: babies
kylodeath: that wouldnt' be useful!
kylodeath: how would you solve crimes with that?
KungFuEchidna: well, I was gong to specifically use baby bone for the bullets
kylodeath: oh, ok
kylodeath: I thought you were saying that everybody would be resurrected in natal form
KungFuEchidna: because a bunch of dudes who just woke up from the dead, covered in still-warm flesh, surrounded by clones of themselves containing the same memories, would be much more traumatized than a pile of identical octuplets
kylodeath: would you be able to support their heads? baby necks are all rolly
KungFuEchidna: this actually brings up a good point. I pretty much invisioned me shooting someone full of babies, and then moving on to the next henchmen
kylodeath: but what about the babies!
KungFuEchidna: I didn't really have a support system in place for all the children I'd create
kylodeath: think of the children
kylodeath: you should also request the power to create orphanages with a snap of your fingers
kylodeath: and porridge
KungFuEchidna: maybe I'll use raptor bone instead. Of one raptor, that I trained to love me, that I then euthanized in its sleep.
KungFuEchidna: that way I'd both be exploding them AND creating an army
kylodeath: whoa, plus you'd have a badass backstory
kylodeath: you be all abrooding, thinking about when you killed stella for the good of mankind
KungFuEchidna: and raptors don't know fear, so emerging from the bowels of a henchman would be more akin to appearing in a pile of kibble than anything
kylodeath: or the eventual disemboweling of mankind
KungFuEchidna: indeed!
KungFuEchidna: Batman would have nothing on that. I'd be killing loved ones left and right, because saving them would be a lot easier if I only had to hold onto a finger than lug a screaming, useless civilian through all of my battles
kylodeath: what if they had nice shoes on?
KungFuEchidna: This brings up the other bothersome thing: You'd think Lois Lane would start dressing more practically, knowing she'd have to outrun explosions in abandoned warehouses every other weekend
kylodeath: You just don't understand
kylodeath: Lois Lane has an image to uphold. Sure, she's a lady working in a man's world, but that's all the more reason for her to maintain a smart image
kylodeath: A pair of heels accentuates a finely-turned calf, crucial for those skirt-blazer numbers we've been seeing all over Metropolis
KungFuEchidna: but she's a lady working in a man's world in which she's always being thrown over the shoulder of some burly dude who proceeds to fly her through most of the city streets. You'd think she'd at least wear a longer skirt
kylodeath: And look like a schoolmarm while she's at it
kylodeath: think about it
kylodeath: Do you ever see Superman rescuing some dowdy plain-Jane?
KungFuEchidna: better than giving most of the city an Exclusive Look at Lois' Panties!
KungFuEchidna: hmm. that's actually a good point
kylodeath: No. Lois' impractical outfits are a matter of survival.
KungFuEchidna: it's a survival mechanism
KungFuEchidna: like the distinctive coloration of cleaner fish!
KungFuEchidna: she's just making sure that she's noticed
kylodeath: Meanwhile, sightings of frumpy women about Metropolis continue to decrease in number.
kylodeath: soon they will be all but eliminated from the population
KungFuEchidna: yay!