(no subject)
Recently one of the mailing lists I'm subscibed to has had a flood of emails from users complaining that they would like to be removed. Several times, people have posted the 'unsubscribe' link, and explained that you can remove yourself.
The mod even went through to describe the process in detail.
After several more emails, this was sent to the list.
It's too good not to share...enjoy.
Dear {Name of Dipshit},
Recently it has come to our attention that you would prefer to be removed from the Irreality Hive EMail list than maintain your connection to a community of talented and creative individuals from across the globe.
Unfortunately we are unable to comply with your request directly as we do not have access to your account information.
As a work around to this, the Irreality staff have created a method by which you may cancel your subscription to [Hive] at any point you choose and have already notified you as to how this system works. Unfortunately there is nothing more we can do to help you, as the old adage goes, "You can lead a cow to water, but you can't make her drink."
Now, in keeping with the Cow paradigm, consider this EMail a firm zap with the cattle prod as you read the following. Oh, by the way, we'll be refering to you as "Cuddles" from here on out, too.
ATTENTION CUDDLES:
Please read the bottom of Irreality Hive list emails before spamming your "remove me" complaints to the inboxes of several hundred people who are all now thinking: "Yes! You ARE blue ribbon evidence in support of compulsory sterilization!" As, indeed, Cuddles, you did not notice THE FUCKING-LIST-FUCKING-SUBSCRIPTION URL cheerfully, and quite rather conspicuously, LOCATED AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY FUCKING LISTMAIL SET ADRIFT
UNTO THE BOWELS OF THE MOTHER FUCKING INTERNET; and being, of course, of the same nature and content as the URL WE will now FUCKING SPOON FEED TO YOU after applying the requisite dose of RITUAL ABUSE deemed necessary for such a profound act of stupidity as you have so aptly demonstrated on this fine,and bloody fantastically misanthropic day. Care for a mint before we begin,Cuddles?
http://irrealityhelix.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/hive_irrealityhelix.org.uk
Cuddles, YOU FUCKING COWBRAIN, DID YOU SEE THE FuckING URL *THAT* TIME?!?
...
Here, we'll show it to you again, in slow motion "Irreality ArrowVision(TM)", just in case you're still stumped and unable to express your overriding stupification with a magnitude of perspicuity beyond grunts,clicks, squeeks and cud-belches:
vv vv vv vv vv vv vv
http://irrealityhelix.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/hive_irrealityhelix.org.uk
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
C'mon Cuddles!! C'mon! You can do it!! YEAH!! You can see the URL..!
Cuddles? Cuddles!! Lookie THERE!! Do you see it? Do you see it???
WOW! A FUCKING URL!!! CUDDLES FOUND THE FUCKING URL!!!
GOOD COW!!
Cheers, and thank you for choosing Irreality,
{Rep's Name},
Irreality Customer Service
The mod even went through to describe the process in detail.
After several more emails, this was sent to the list.
It's too good not to share...enjoy.
Dear {Name of Dipshit},
Recently it has come to our attention that you would prefer to be removed from the Irreality Hive EMail list than maintain your connection to a community of talented and creative individuals from across the globe.
Unfortunately we are unable to comply with your request directly as we do not have access to your account information.
As a work around to this, the Irreality staff have created a method by which you may cancel your subscription to [Hive] at any point you choose and have already notified you as to how this system works. Unfortunately there is nothing more we can do to help you, as the old adage goes, "You can lead a cow to water, but you can't make her drink."
Now, in keeping with the Cow paradigm, consider this EMail a firm zap with the cattle prod as you read the following. Oh, by the way, we'll be refering to you as "Cuddles" from here on out, too.
ATTENTION CUDDLES:
Please read the bottom of Irreality Hive list emails before spamming your "remove me" complaints to the inboxes of several hundred people who are all now thinking: "Yes! You ARE blue ribbon evidence in support of compulsory sterilization!" As, indeed, Cuddles, you did not notice THE FUCKING-LIST-FUCKING-SUBSCRIPTION URL cheerfully, and quite rather conspicuously, LOCATED AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY FUCKING LISTMAIL SET ADRIFT
UNTO THE BOWELS OF THE MOTHER FUCKING INTERNET; and being, of course, of the same nature and content as the URL WE will now FUCKING SPOON FEED TO YOU after applying the requisite dose of RITUAL ABUSE deemed necessary for such a profound act of stupidity as you have so aptly demonstrated on this fine,and bloody fantastically misanthropic day. Care for a mint before we begin,Cuddles?
http://irrealityhelix.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/hive_irrealityhelix.org.uk
Cuddles, YOU FUCKING COWBRAIN, DID YOU SEE THE FuckING URL *THAT* TIME?!?
...
Here, we'll show it to you again, in slow motion "Irreality ArrowVision(TM)", just in case you're still stumped and unable to express your overriding stupification with a magnitude of perspicuity beyond grunts,clicks, squeeks and cud-belches:
vv vv vv vv vv vv vv
http://irrealityhelix.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/hive_irrealityhelix.org.uk
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
C'mon Cuddles!! C'mon! You can do it!! YEAH!! You can see the URL..!
Cuddles? Cuddles!! Lookie THERE!! Do you see it? Do you see it???
WOW! A FUCKING URL!!! CUDDLES FOUND THE FUCKING URL!!!
GOOD COW!!
Cheers, and thank you for choosing Irreality,
{Rep's Name},
Irreality Customer Service