can i just say...
i thought i'd never make it through this week.
i never ended up sleeping the night before my presentation.
i never ended up finishing the presentation either.
i was so distressed i called my dad in freakin' HK because it was 6:30 am and i was paralized with anxiety and i just didn't know what else to do.
and while i was scrambling to finish it during lunch.. i had a bad confrontation with my dietitian and it made me so upset.. i couldn't think. my brain was shot. and then i still had to finish the presentation. luckily my other classmates were with me and tried to encourage me to keep pressing on...
i finished preparing everything until 3 mins before the presentations started.
and it was the worst presentation i ever gave in my entire life, and i'm pretty good when it comes to speaking in front of people.
and on top of that... i'm late TWICE, like an hour and a half. my alarm just didn't go off, i don't know why. that's SO BAD... plus my first consult for my first patient was disasterous. so bad my dietitian called my supervisor, to which i had to see her today because she was "very concerned".
anyways.. it's been rough. but i'm trying not to loose it, though that in itself, has been extremely challenging. i think it's just the domino effect of not sleeping. after 5 days of max 3 hours a night, i can't do it anymore...
i did a second consult today that took FOREVER and i didn't even know what assessment to make. i felt like i really couldn't do it, and was getting frustrated at myself. i was really losing it. there is this lady in the kitchen who is the biggest encouragement in the world. she just happened to walk by.. and she took me aside and tried to help me get myself back together. she has the hugest hugest faith in the world. she's the greatest. she told me to pray.. she told me what to pray. she's always so encouraging like that. so i prayed so hard.. i have been but it just hasn't really helped. but.. my dietitian said this chart note was much better, albeit some details i needed to add in. and my supervisor wasn't as harsh as i thought she would be. she definetly expressed her "concerns" and reminded me that work like this is "definetly a fail", but she also said she wants me to succeed. and i did a fair job trying to explain myself and assuring her that i really do know what i'm doing and i'll catch up and prove myself in the last week and a half left (yeah, only that long till this is all over). oh, and the feedback i got from my presentation was surprising: my supervisor gave me good comments...! what the..
can i just say...
i can't wait to be home.
are you guys gonna be ready for me back in HK???
i never ended up sleeping the night before my presentation.
i never ended up finishing the presentation either.
i was so distressed i called my dad in freakin' HK because it was 6:30 am and i was paralized with anxiety and i just didn't know what else to do.
and while i was scrambling to finish it during lunch.. i had a bad confrontation with my dietitian and it made me so upset.. i couldn't think. my brain was shot. and then i still had to finish the presentation. luckily my other classmates were with me and tried to encourage me to keep pressing on...
i finished preparing everything until 3 mins before the presentations started.
and it was the worst presentation i ever gave in my entire life, and i'm pretty good when it comes to speaking in front of people.
and on top of that... i'm late TWICE, like an hour and a half. my alarm just didn't go off, i don't know why. that's SO BAD... plus my first consult for my first patient was disasterous. so bad my dietitian called my supervisor, to which i had to see her today because she was "very concerned".
anyways.. it's been rough. but i'm trying not to loose it, though that in itself, has been extremely challenging. i think it's just the domino effect of not sleeping. after 5 days of max 3 hours a night, i can't do it anymore...
i did a second consult today that took FOREVER and i didn't even know what assessment to make. i felt like i really couldn't do it, and was getting frustrated at myself. i was really losing it. there is this lady in the kitchen who is the biggest encouragement in the world. she just happened to walk by.. and she took me aside and tried to help me get myself back together. she has the hugest hugest faith in the world. she's the greatest. she told me to pray.. she told me what to pray. she's always so encouraging like that. so i prayed so hard.. i have been but it just hasn't really helped. but.. my dietitian said this chart note was much better, albeit some details i needed to add in. and my supervisor wasn't as harsh as i thought she would be. she definetly expressed her "concerns" and reminded me that work like this is "definetly a fail", but she also said she wants me to succeed. and i did a fair job trying to explain myself and assuring her that i really do know what i'm doing and i'll catch up and prove myself in the last week and a half left (yeah, only that long till this is all over). oh, and the feedback i got from my presentation was surprising: my supervisor gave me good comments...! what the..
can i just say...
i can't wait to be home.
are you guys gonna be ready for me back in HK???