Humbuggery of the Highest Calibre
These are the halcyon days where Christy and I resist Christmas cheer with all our might. We turn off the radio stations playing ‘round-the-clock rock songs filled with sleigh bells and we silently huff at the fake snow and drunken, leaning Santas littering mall parking lots. No, we are not dreaming of a White Christmas, thank you very much.
Why, you ask? Why impose upon ourselves a Scrooge-like attitude during the most celebrated holiday season in the world? Well, we have reasons.
Maybe I’m unnecessarily grumpy about the whole thing. Maybe I’m old-fashioned and this is where my little streak of Conservatism bubbles to the surface. I love the season, but the season doesn’t need to be an entire fiscal quarter long. I get burned out on it. By the time Christmas rolls around, between family expectations and advertising, we’ve had so much Yule shoved down our throats there’s no room for the bourbon-laced eggnog. And I really like the bourbon-laced eggnog.
Reason one is that both our families placed importance on birthdays. My mother made it a point to decorate for Christmas after my December 9th birth date so I wouldn’t feel that my special day had been overshadowed. That may sound a little over-protective, but really- you only get one birthday a year. Likewise, my mother-in-law’s birthday is the day after Christmas. After fifty-plus years of birth days on December 26th, she shrugs and says, “You really can’t compete with Jesus.” So for her we try to make the day after Christmas special for her. We have a normal birthday celebration with separate birthday presents and a cake. And for me, the celebration of Jesus’ birthday doesn’t start until after mine is over. That seems fair. I mean, come on Jesus- a month-and-a-half to two months for your birthday? That’s pretty selfish.
All kidding with Jesus aside-reason two that we do not begin celebrating the holidays yet is because of the crass commercialism. I know- it’s pointless to argue with it; like shouting at the ocean. Usually, the sales starting pistol traditionally goes off 12:00a.m. Black Friday, but there are false starts all the way back to just before Halloween. Target had Christmas trees up November 1st. I can handle a commercial with a stocking cap, snowflake, or smartly-dressed toddler pulling a sleigh here or there, but every damn company with and advertising budget greater than ten dollars is overloading the airwaves with holiday chaff. Thanksgiving seems to be the only hurdle keeping most business honest. Otherwise, I’m sure we’d be seeing Halfway to Xmas sales in June.
Christmas needs to be short and sweet. It is needs to be an ephemeral thing like that week or two of free weather we get in the spring and autumn. I want Christmas to remain special. Magical. Warm and meaningful.
So decorations go up December 10th. We roll out of our humbugs and into our ugly knitted sweaters. We smile for pictures. We pick up a little Christmas spirit here and there. And most importantly, we spend those fleeting moments of comfort and joy with the people we love.
Why, you ask? Why impose upon ourselves a Scrooge-like attitude during the most celebrated holiday season in the world? Well, we have reasons.
Maybe I’m unnecessarily grumpy about the whole thing. Maybe I’m old-fashioned and this is where my little streak of Conservatism bubbles to the surface. I love the season, but the season doesn’t need to be an entire fiscal quarter long. I get burned out on it. By the time Christmas rolls around, between family expectations and advertising, we’ve had so much Yule shoved down our throats there’s no room for the bourbon-laced eggnog. And I really like the bourbon-laced eggnog.
Reason one is that both our families placed importance on birthdays. My mother made it a point to decorate for Christmas after my December 9th birth date so I wouldn’t feel that my special day had been overshadowed. That may sound a little over-protective, but really- you only get one birthday a year. Likewise, my mother-in-law’s birthday is the day after Christmas. After fifty-plus years of birth days on December 26th, she shrugs and says, “You really can’t compete with Jesus.” So for her we try to make the day after Christmas special for her. We have a normal birthday celebration with separate birthday presents and a cake. And for me, the celebration of Jesus’ birthday doesn’t start until after mine is over. That seems fair. I mean, come on Jesus- a month-and-a-half to two months for your birthday? That’s pretty selfish.
All kidding with Jesus aside-reason two that we do not begin celebrating the holidays yet is because of the crass commercialism. I know- it’s pointless to argue with it; like shouting at the ocean. Usually, the sales starting pistol traditionally goes off 12:00a.m. Black Friday, but there are false starts all the way back to just before Halloween. Target had Christmas trees up November 1st. I can handle a commercial with a stocking cap, snowflake, or smartly-dressed toddler pulling a sleigh here or there, but every damn company with and advertising budget greater than ten dollars is overloading the airwaves with holiday chaff. Thanksgiving seems to be the only hurdle keeping most business honest. Otherwise, I’m sure we’d be seeing Halfway to Xmas sales in June.
Christmas needs to be short and sweet. It is needs to be an ephemeral thing like that week or two of free weather we get in the spring and autumn. I want Christmas to remain special. Magical. Warm and meaningful.
So decorations go up December 10th. We roll out of our humbugs and into our ugly knitted sweaters. We smile for pictures. We pick up a little Christmas spirit here and there. And most importantly, we spend those fleeting moments of comfort and joy with the people we love.