Innocence
I read a journal entry of Hilary's today, one of Swa's friends, the apparent leader of the rabid hamster army of doom.
For those of you who dont know, Swa and co are 15, live in Perth, all female, cept for timmeh heh, but hes done e drag so he counts too but im only referring to the girls in this entry, and they are infinitely amusing. I'm known to them through Amz and talk to them every now and then through msn.
Now the thing is, that these girls are pretty much insane, they come up with the most hilarious things, an are odd and strange and a ball to talk to usually.
But there has always been something about them that never seemed quite right to me, something that nagged at me and was telling me something was amiss.
Its been there ever since i first talked to Swa, and has nagged me ever since, something that i could see out of teh corner of my minds eye but only feel it when i stared at it directly.
Well after i read Hilary's latest LJ, i think i have it finally, i may have grasped what it is that disturbs me about these 15 year olds that talk about sex and life and music and perform tricks like e drag on people and dominate discussion boards. These girls that make phallic references to pickles.
Their innocence.....where is it? Im not saying theyre evil bitches, or anything, because theyre not, they are people that you would be lucky to know. But theyre 15, and all these topics are open to them, and i have to sit back and remind myself that theyre 15, and restrain some of the sleazy banter and retorts i had in mind. Theyre not my age, theyre not even legal :p
I think about when we were 15, and what we were like, and im trying to remember if we were like this, seemingly without that indefinable quality known as innocence, and i think that we didnt, not really, so i ask, what age do we children lose that spark? That naivete`?
I guess, theres nothing wrong with being open about sexual things, and having confidence in yourself and your friends, its just that in my mind, i dont really see that coming from someone in the middle of puberty, shit that sounds condescending, how about at the age of 15 instead?
Am i being a hypocrite? I seem to recall that in year 9, i had the most filthy mind imaginable, and i made you, my friends, laugh and i shocked you at times with how ar i went with those jokes.
hmmmmmmm.... so it disturbs me slightly, heh, im almost 20, in 6 months i will be, thats 2 decades, 2 bloody decades, 5-6 more to go hopefully, thats 1/4 at least of my life over, and i have no fucking idea what my point is now. Im rambling. Its 3am :p
So i sit there and i chat to them, and i shake my head in wonder, and i feel pity for the males that will tangle themselves with these girls, when they become older and more strong willed versions of themselves, and i laugh, because theyre gonna have one hell of a time, those males.
I wish the best of luck to all those girls, the rabid hamsters and their interesting (to say the least) life, and i will sit here an continue to be slightly disturbed about how openly they can tlk about somethigns, and i will keep reminding myself that i must restrain some of my natural retorts to some of these things, after all, i dont wanna end up like doug now do i? with that amusing little e drag thing hanging over his head :D
The difference of 5 years.....15 to 20....such a short time really...yet the difference amd change in that time is absolutely huge, makes you think.
night
The Jester.