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[kueh]

Oh, part of the mystery of where all my time goes is solved. I get panic attacks over my gender. I'm not feeling myself when I present as male, but when I present as female I get panic attacks. Or to be more exact, the thought that I might be read as male when I present as female induces said panic attacks. I'm just so insecure in my ability to

Comments

[wednesdayschild]

*hugs*

Really sorry this is stressing you so much. I've been thinking a lot about the performativity of gender (in relation to abstract academic things, such as early modern theatre etc) and reading the stuff Juliet Jacques has been posting in the Guardian makes me think more about this but in a more concrete way and how it affects people. Obviously this is not emotional for me like it is for you and I'm so sorry it's so hard :( Do you have anyone in the same situation you can chat to about it?

<3

p.s. david said you should chat to him because of bridge news stuff!!

[kueh]

*hugs* Thank you very much, dear. I consider myself lucky in that I haven't had a external bad experience which puts me off experimenting, just all the shit that's internal which I need to get over. It feels like most of my friends treat it in the classic British way, by ignoring it :P

[kueh]

*hugs* Thank you. Also. Clothes are so expensive. !@#$% (= Cheaper in Singapore, but I have less courage there, and I don't want to distress my parents, although my parents are also quite British about it, and ignoring it the best they can! Although, I hope it doesn't cause them distress about 'not bringing me up properly' or so on...