Dad no more
I often wonder if my dad were to die tomorrow, would I cry? Would I be so moved and distraught to feel any kind of hurt? And, as bad as it may sound, my answer time and time again is, plainly, "no". My father's death could not urk me enough to bring me to tears. And I absolutely hate that I feel this way. It's not like it was my fault that my father had to be a terrible one. His actions directly, if not indirectly, affect me.
By now, at the age of 15 years and 364 days, I've come to realize that in the accumulated time I've spent with my father I still don't know him and may never. So, how could I have any real reaction to his demise? I have no emotional attachment to him. All he is is a walking talking child support check. And often times he's not even that.
What's worse is that I know that in this situation I'm not the only case.
By now, at the age of 15 years and 364 days, I've come to realize that in the accumulated time I've spent with my father I still don't know him and may never. So, how could I have any real reaction to his demise? I have no emotional attachment to him. All he is is a walking talking child support check. And often times he's not even that.
What's worse is that I know that in this situation I'm not the only case.