Texas Sayings And A Joke.
More Texas sayings that are a bit funny and a joke. This is what happens when I am bored. I post silly stuff.
The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.
(Not overly-intelligent)
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.
(self-explanatory)
Big hat, no cattle.
(All talk and no action)
We've howdy'd but we ain't shook yet.
(We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced)
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.
(He has a pretty high opinion of himself)
She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.
(That woman can talk)
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.
(Appearances can be deceptive)
This ain't my first rodeo.
(I've been around awhile)
They ate supper before they said grace.
(Living in sin)
You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them
biscuits.
(You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is).
The Bus
In a big city at a crowded busy bus stop there was a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Still, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile at the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her in line picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic, turned to the would-be good Samaritan, and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.
(Not overly-intelligent)
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.
(self-explanatory)
Big hat, no cattle.
(All talk and no action)
We've howdy'd but we ain't shook yet.
(We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced)
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.
(He has a pretty high opinion of himself)
She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.
(That woman can talk)
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.
(Appearances can be deceptive)
This ain't my first rodeo.
(I've been around awhile)
They ate supper before they said grace.
(Living in sin)
You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them
biscuits.
(You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is).
The Bus
In a big city at a crowded busy bus stop there was a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Still, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile at the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her in line picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic, turned to the would-be good Samaritan, and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."