I can has love plz.
Hey Kids,
I used to find it fairly easy to let go when people didn't respond to my attempts to contact them. I used to just say "ahh well, their loss" and move on. But I wouldn't ignore people trying to contact me, even if I didn't much want to speak to them, I'd be polite.
Lately, I am so sensitive. I hope that it's just another step on the road to getting better again, but since all of this, every time someone neglects to message me back I have started to take it personally. I vacillate between feeling sad that people aren't interested in relating to me, and being angry at people for thinking they can just coldly disregard me.
If someone has asked me not to contact them, I have always respected their wishes. I can't stand just not receiving any response. And I don't WANT to be this sort of person. I don't want to care.
When I feel the most insecure, I think there must be some reason they won't talk to me. Either something real about me (I'm not academic enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not interesting enough) or more of the lies that surrounded and fueled the collapse of my emotional stability and self esteem.
I don't THINK there's anything wrong with me, and I KNOW I should just go back to my "their loss" perspective, if I want to be happy. I can't control other people's feelings, nor their impoliteness. But my feelings seem disproportionate. Perhaps I feel every rejection the way that I felt that big one. Like little shock waves moving outward from the explosion, like waves leftover from a storm.
I don't want to be changed by this. I am not willing to let go of who I am, of the person I've been proud to be, simply because my relationship ended so violently.
Until Next Time,
I'm Ktwilight.
I used to find it fairly easy to let go when people didn't respond to my attempts to contact them. I used to just say "ahh well, their loss" and move on. But I wouldn't ignore people trying to contact me, even if I didn't much want to speak to them, I'd be polite.
Lately, I am so sensitive. I hope that it's just another step on the road to getting better again, but since all of this, every time someone neglects to message me back I have started to take it personally. I vacillate between feeling sad that people aren't interested in relating to me, and being angry at people for thinking they can just coldly disregard me.
If someone has asked me not to contact them, I have always respected their wishes. I can't stand just not receiving any response. And I don't WANT to be this sort of person. I don't want to care.
When I feel the most insecure, I think there must be some reason they won't talk to me. Either something real about me (I'm not academic enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not interesting enough) or more of the lies that surrounded and fueled the collapse of my emotional stability and self esteem.
I don't THINK there's anything wrong with me, and I KNOW I should just go back to my "their loss" perspective, if I want to be happy. I can't control other people's feelings, nor their impoliteness. But my feelings seem disproportionate. Perhaps I feel every rejection the way that I felt that big one. Like little shock waves moving outward from the explosion, like waves leftover from a storm.
I don't want to be changed by this. I am not willing to let go of who I am, of the person I've been proud to be, simply because my relationship ended so violently.
Until Next Time,
I'm Ktwilight.