(no subject)
incredibly bored and depressed. the long gray clubs me like it's favorite baby seal, seeing how many thumps are in a tootsie pop. Alex once laughed and called me King of the Outsiders. He meant it as an ironic insult but it just might be the case. nothing seems to matter enough to motivate and the horse latitudes are starving me out. so many opportunities. so why do i choose to just sit here alone in the darkcold?
I beg your pardon, but do you have some light left in you?
Or ... have you burned complete?
Grey ash to blow away or blackened coal that could still hold heat?
I've written ... quite a few songs. most of them make sense to me. but my performance - my charisma - needs work. always has. people come close 'cause I'm drawn all purty and then the mask slips. I used to write and play and then Chris teach _his_ band my stuff and fill clubs on my material through his hands and voice and charisma. People who knew it was me writing the songs used to freak because I'd touched them somehow and then they'd freak more when they tried to talk to me about it and I came off as my usual distant self. I never learned to take praise or presents well.
I'm just babbling into the void again. maybe I'm just too wrapped up in myself to escape into the company of others.
I beg your pardon, but do you have some light left in you?
Or ... have you burned complete?
Grey ash to blow away or blackened coal that could still hold heat?
I've written ... quite a few songs. most of them make sense to me. but my performance - my charisma - needs work. always has. people come close 'cause I'm drawn all purty and then the mask slips. I used to write and play and then Chris teach _his_ band my stuff and fill clubs on my material through his hands and voice and charisma. People who knew it was me writing the songs used to freak because I'd touched them somehow and then they'd freak more when they tried to talk to me about it and I came off as my usual distant self. I never learned to take praise or presents well.
I'm just babbling into the void again. maybe I'm just too wrapped up in myself to escape into the company of others.