fear and anxiety
The brain is a wonderful thing it allows us to think things through without actually doing them. It can make extensive computations that no other being (as far as we know) can do. But worry about someone and the brain goes off the deep end. You wonder what if they are in jail, what if they were in a car crash, what if they ran away with someone, what if they are dead. And then of course for each of those your brain has to go through all the possible consequences, what needs to be done, how will I feel, what will the rest of my life be like. And the other part of the brain is going why don't you just wait a half day and see if you get more information. That part squeeks a lot but it is ignored by the worried side.
So what drives this anxiety: expectations. Yeah those things. If you don't expect something to happen then there are no anxieties tied up in it. It happens or it doesn't no worries at all. Now if you have some idea of what should happen and it doesn't then you get anxious. And the level of anxiety seems to be tied to how much it matters to you.
How to fight the anxiety? You could have a don't care attitude about everything. I feel that wouldn't make a very productive way to live. And is probably not possible to maintain without being dead soon.
I look back at all the times I was angry, frustrated, anxious. And they all had something in common, something went the way I didn't want it to. Arguments with my spouse, cussing at the computer, holes in the wall. I would like to not be this way. One way to do that is have everything controlled around me. I have seen people like that, I don't want to put my friends through that. I do know that big things have never bothered me. So I have to learn to let the little things slide. That is going to be tough, but I want to do it. I want to be a better person for my wife. I want to not get angry at something silly. I want to not worry.
So what drives this anxiety: expectations. Yeah those things. If you don't expect something to happen then there are no anxieties tied up in it. It happens or it doesn't no worries at all. Now if you have some idea of what should happen and it doesn't then you get anxious. And the level of anxiety seems to be tied to how much it matters to you.
How to fight the anxiety? You could have a don't care attitude about everything. I feel that wouldn't make a very productive way to live. And is probably not possible to maintain without being dead soon.
I look back at all the times I was angry, frustrated, anxious. And they all had something in common, something went the way I didn't want it to. Arguments with my spouse, cussing at the computer, holes in the wall. I would like to not be this way. One way to do that is have everything controlled around me. I have seen people like that, I don't want to put my friends through that. I do know that big things have never bothered me. So I have to learn to let the little things slide. That is going to be tough, but I want to do it. I want to be a better person for my wife. I want to not get angry at something silly. I want to not worry.