Violence
Are you the type of person that gravitates to violence or shy away?
A few nights ago, one of our mutual friend (actually he is more Derek's friend) felt bad for missing my bday so he invited us over for dinner at his new condo. During dinner, we talked about relationships. He was dating (or is still) this girl that really knows how to push his buttons. I am not sure with all the details but he was arrested for domestic violence. Instead of jail time, he had to attend Anger management class.
I have known him for a few years and seen how he plays volleyball. He does have anger issues.
He is a very good volleyball player, very competitive and gives every games his all. However if he thinks his partner is not doing the same, there is a lot of cursing and yelling on the court. I have seen him kick volleyballs across courts. I have seen him tackle his friends on the sand. It doesn't take that much to set him off. I have seen his partners walk off the court in the middle of the game because they can't put up with his smack talking anymore.
So he explains to me the class is more about being in touch with the cause of the anger.
An example: if someone trips you and you land on your ass, people are around you are laughing. You are not angry because you fell, you are angry because you are humiliated in front of people.
He went on to explain that usually he is not a violent guy, but if there is violence around, he becomes violent. It doesn't have to be physical either.
With his x girlfriend, when she is not in a good mood, she slams things around his house. He is tired from a long day of working and to hear such violence around him, it set him off.
It got me thinking about myself. I gravitate to violence.
Example: my marriage to David hence all the fighting
However with Derek, he knows how to calm things down with me.
I have only gone crazy on Derek once (reminisce of my days with David) and I realize that I can't behave that way anymore. Once Derek realize that I am not a crazy psycho girl, he is able to work with me to build our relationship.
A few nights ago, one of our mutual friend (actually he is more Derek's friend) felt bad for missing my bday so he invited us over for dinner at his new condo. During dinner, we talked about relationships. He was dating (or is still) this girl that really knows how to push his buttons. I am not sure with all the details but he was arrested for domestic violence. Instead of jail time, he had to attend Anger management class.
I have known him for a few years and seen how he plays volleyball. He does have anger issues.
He is a very good volleyball player, very competitive and gives every games his all. However if he thinks his partner is not doing the same, there is a lot of cursing and yelling on the court. I have seen him kick volleyballs across courts. I have seen him tackle his friends on the sand. It doesn't take that much to set him off. I have seen his partners walk off the court in the middle of the game because they can't put up with his smack talking anymore.
So he explains to me the class is more about being in touch with the cause of the anger.
An example: if someone trips you and you land on your ass, people are around you are laughing. You are not angry because you fell, you are angry because you are humiliated in front of people.
He went on to explain that usually he is not a violent guy, but if there is violence around, he becomes violent. It doesn't have to be physical either.
With his x girlfriend, when she is not in a good mood, she slams things around his house. He is tired from a long day of working and to hear such violence around him, it set him off.
It got me thinking about myself. I gravitate to violence.
Example: my marriage to David hence all the fighting
However with Derek, he knows how to calm things down with me.
I have only gone crazy on Derek once (reminisce of my days with David) and I realize that I can't behave that way anymore. Once Derek realize that I am not a crazy psycho girl, he is able to work with me to build our relationship.