Anatomy of a Project
1. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong
2. The deadline is directly proportional to and inversely related to the amount of things that can and will go wrong
3. When things go wrong - it is nothing small
4. It is always major - and it always screws you up
5. Feelings of helplessness and wanting to cry are de facto. Just accept
6. When things go wrong -- you will want to punch your computer
7. Things that go wrong never go wrong otherwise
8. Your computer is a sullen child that acts up at inopportune moments
9. It is never a simple fix
10. Plan to re-do many parts of your project over and over
11. What could have been a simple 5 minute project is now a week-long nightmare
12. You will not enjoy that week at all
13. You would rather sleep
14. You need the sleep
15. You can't enjoy the sleep because you can't stop thinking about the project
16. You wake up tired, but you force yourself to get up because you know you need to work on the project
17. You can't focus on the project because you're too damn tired
18. But you can't go to bed because you need to do the project
19. You finally succumb to nature's demands and go to bed
20. You do not get much sleep because you can't stop thinking about the project
21. Hell, you even dream about the project
22. You wake up feeling even more stressed
23. This is because you are one day closer to the deadline
24. And most likely you accomplished next to nothing the night before
25. Your hatred for the project is renewed many times over before you even start it
26. You consider finding a new circle of friends and running away and starting somewhere anew
27. You think it's silly that you hate the project so much that you would contemplate #26
28. You think your friends would understand if they were in your shoes
29. Instead of doing the project - you research plane tickets to Burma
30. Burma Burma Burma
31. You wish the project could be sucked up by the Bermuda Triangle
32. You wonder if it is hip to be square in the Bermuda Triangle
33. You wish you could be motivated to work on this damn project
34. Once again, you vow to break your procrastinating ways
35. Rather than work on the project, you ponder the merits of the project
36. What if you faked your own death?
37. Nah, it's too messy getting ketchup out of the carpet
38. Project ProjectBurmaProject Project
39. You could do it outside... you've been meaning to toss that rancid ketchup
40. Maybe a rabid raccoon will attack you and you can get rancid rabies
41. The prospect of a shot in the stomach.... eh.
42. Shot in the stomach > Project
43. Hmm.... plausible....
44. That'd probably be outpatient. That'd still give me more time to do the project
45. I wish the project could grow swords for hands and stab me
46. If I could make a computer do that, I wouldn't be doing this project in the first place
2. The deadline is directly proportional to and inversely related to the amount of things that can and will go wrong
3. When things go wrong - it is nothing small
4. It is always major - and it always screws you up
5. Feelings of helplessness and wanting to cry are de facto. Just accept
6. When things go wrong -- you will want to punch your computer
7. Things that go wrong never go wrong otherwise
8. Your computer is a sullen child that acts up at inopportune moments
9. It is never a simple fix
10. Plan to re-do many parts of your project over and over
11. What could have been a simple 5 minute project is now a week-long nightmare
12. You will not enjoy that week at all
13. You would rather sleep
14. You need the sleep
15. You can't enjoy the sleep because you can't stop thinking about the project
16. You wake up tired, but you force yourself to get up because you know you need to work on the project
17. You can't focus on the project because you're too damn tired
18. But you can't go to bed because you need to do the project
19. You finally succumb to nature's demands and go to bed
20. You do not get much sleep because you can't stop thinking about the project
21. Hell, you even dream about the project
22. You wake up feeling even more stressed
23. This is because you are one day closer to the deadline
24. And most likely you accomplished next to nothing the night before
25. Your hatred for the project is renewed many times over before you even start it
26. You consider finding a new circle of friends and running away and starting somewhere anew
27. You think it's silly that you hate the project so much that you would contemplate #26
28. You think your friends would understand if they were in your shoes
29. Instead of doing the project - you research plane tickets to Burma
30. Burma Burma Burma
31. You wish the project could be sucked up by the Bermuda Triangle
32. You wonder if it is hip to be square in the Bermuda Triangle
33. You wish you could be motivated to work on this damn project
34. Once again, you vow to break your procrastinating ways
35. Rather than work on the project, you ponder the merits of the project
36. What if you faked your own death?
37. Nah, it's too messy getting ketchup out of the carpet
38. Project ProjectBurmaProject Project
39. You could do it outside... you've been meaning to toss that rancid ketchup
40. Maybe a rabid raccoon will attack you and you can get rancid rabies
41. The prospect of a shot in the stomach.... eh.
42. Shot in the stomach > Project
43. Hmm.... plausible....
44. That'd probably be outpatient. That'd still give me more time to do the project
45. I wish the project could grow swords for hands and stab me
46. If I could make a computer do that, I wouldn't be doing this project in the first place