GHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
I found the absolute worst job today. I had to stand next to a piece of conveyor and stand up cans that fall over. It's always moving so I can't go anywhere. 8 hours is a very very very very long time when your're waiting for the minutes tick by, standing next to a conveyor watching 720,000 cans of bud go by over the course of your shift, which of course was the midnight shift from 11pm to 7am.
I started out energized. By no means excited for my job, but still able to do the task. I didn't have a chair. Just a little staircase to get me up to a working level above the belt.
After a while (i.e. 30 minutes into my 8 hours) i started to sing songs. it's noisy and there's no one around so no problem. Good thing too because a little while later i started singing songs i didn't know the lyrics to. that got interesting.
time passes and i invented some games to play with the conveyor. walk the dog. That's where you lay down a can on top of the other cans going down the conveyor and let it roll. i estimated that with a diameter of 2 in, therefore an approximate circumference of 6 in, a can which was rolling at 2 revolutions per second, traveled somewhere around 3/4 of a mile for every hour that i "walked the dog on the conveyor.
Then i taught it how to play fetch. This is a game for when there are no other cans on the conveyor(either because of a change or a gap. anyway i'd slide a can the wrong way down the conveyor and wait for it to come back. Quality time spent.
It's amazing what a job like that can do to you. I'd already considered how much money i'd be willing to pay a coworker to switch jobs with me. I really didn't care what job they had because i knew it was better than mine. the fact that a perfectly capible person, i don't care who you are, was being asked to devote all of his focus, energy, and time, to taking a can that had fallen over, and turn it upright.
after a few hours i started to feel my brain melting. Determined to prove otherwise. I said to myself "think something smart keith!" (this of course is ok because no one is around to hear me) and to my surprise... it was like a giant black hole was between my ears.
maybe around 4 am i started not just to feel numb in the brain but all over. I felt as though i was detached from my body. I actually took a can off the line and began to hit myself in the forhead and to my surprise...it actualy felt good. There's something more to me than my amazing ability to turn a can from a horizontal to a vertical position. During my "hit myself in the face with a can phase" i was reminded of Team America when Gary is offered a hammer as a means of suicide. and at 5 in the morning, after 6 hours of turning cans upright, it no longer seemed humorous, but instead a viable option.
When my last hour rolled around, i became suddenly amazed at the fact that never, in my several months of working at AB, had i noticed that the gloves that i'm required to wear, fit perfectly over the bill of my hat. so i took my right glove (for the left was still required for me to upright cans) and fit it nicely over the bill of my hat. Of course what is there to do once you have a glove attached to your hat except wave at things by shaking your head. duh. for anyone thinking i'm crazy...yes i had ventured across that line that most "normal" people stay behind. But then again, it was just me and my conveyor. No other people around. Actally that reminds me. another think i liked to do was yell. just burst out in a little scream. it's remarkable how much better you feel after a nice little yell.
Anyhoo it's ended. over. I'm on a packer tonight and tomorrow night. don't know what's in store for the weekend but then sunday's my last day.
Got the lease for my house yesterday. move in sunday/monday.
4 more days.
P.s. You ever stare at something for so long that when you close your eyes you can see it in perfect detail? ... Yeah i'm having one of those right now.
G'night
I started out energized. By no means excited for my job, but still able to do the task. I didn't have a chair. Just a little staircase to get me up to a working level above the belt.
After a while (i.e. 30 minutes into my 8 hours) i started to sing songs. it's noisy and there's no one around so no problem. Good thing too because a little while later i started singing songs i didn't know the lyrics to. that got interesting.
time passes and i invented some games to play with the conveyor. walk the dog. That's where you lay down a can on top of the other cans going down the conveyor and let it roll. i estimated that with a diameter of 2 in, therefore an approximate circumference of 6 in, a can which was rolling at 2 revolutions per second, traveled somewhere around 3/4 of a mile for every hour that i "walked the dog on the conveyor.
Then i taught it how to play fetch. This is a game for when there are no other cans on the conveyor(either because of a change or a gap. anyway i'd slide a can the wrong way down the conveyor and wait for it to come back. Quality time spent.
It's amazing what a job like that can do to you. I'd already considered how much money i'd be willing to pay a coworker to switch jobs with me. I really didn't care what job they had because i knew it was better than mine. the fact that a perfectly capible person, i don't care who you are, was being asked to devote all of his focus, energy, and time, to taking a can that had fallen over, and turn it upright.
after a few hours i started to feel my brain melting. Determined to prove otherwise. I said to myself "think something smart keith!" (this of course is ok because no one is around to hear me) and to my surprise... it was like a giant black hole was between my ears.
maybe around 4 am i started not just to feel numb in the brain but all over. I felt as though i was detached from my body. I actually took a can off the line and began to hit myself in the forhead and to my surprise...it actualy felt good. There's something more to me than my amazing ability to turn a can from a horizontal to a vertical position. During my "hit myself in the face with a can phase" i was reminded of Team America when Gary is offered a hammer as a means of suicide. and at 5 in the morning, after 6 hours of turning cans upright, it no longer seemed humorous, but instead a viable option.
When my last hour rolled around, i became suddenly amazed at the fact that never, in my several months of working at AB, had i noticed that the gloves that i'm required to wear, fit perfectly over the bill of my hat. so i took my right glove (for the left was still required for me to upright cans) and fit it nicely over the bill of my hat. Of course what is there to do once you have a glove attached to your hat except wave at things by shaking your head. duh. for anyone thinking i'm crazy...yes i had ventured across that line that most "normal" people stay behind. But then again, it was just me and my conveyor. No other people around. Actally that reminds me. another think i liked to do was yell. just burst out in a little scream. it's remarkable how much better you feel after a nice little yell.
Anyhoo it's ended. over. I'm on a packer tonight and tomorrow night. don't know what's in store for the weekend but then sunday's my last day.
Got the lease for my house yesterday. move in sunday/monday.
4 more days.
P.s. You ever stare at something for so long that when you close your eyes you can see it in perfect detail? ... Yeah i'm having one of those right now.
G'night