Holidays, hollow nights.
(I just wrote that in the subject line so that I'd remember it.)
I've stopped all intoxicants, although I keep getting ecstacy flashbacks before I go to sleep. Which would be cool if I didn't only get flashbacks from the 3 minutes that I was tripping the fuck out. I will have to say that after doing drugs my thoughts have become a lot more interesting. Onto other subjects I guess.
I am not doing well in any sense. On Thursday my mom was admitted to Schmick, the mental institution on Stockton. She just got home today. I was home alone for the most part, taking care of Scooter. On Saturday some of my family came over to make sure I was alright, and Daniel brought me groceries, so that was cool. But the whole time she was gone I kept thinking about how empty the house was and how it's probably that way when I'm gone too. And how it was like that every other day for four months because I was out getting fucked up all the time.
I don't really know what to think. Sean's not coming back. I'm not ever leaving. I don't even feel like a whole person anymore.
I've stopped all intoxicants, although I keep getting ecstacy flashbacks before I go to sleep. Which would be cool if I didn't only get flashbacks from the 3 minutes that I was tripping the fuck out. I will have to say that after doing drugs my thoughts have become a lot more interesting. Onto other subjects I guess.
I am not doing well in any sense. On Thursday my mom was admitted to Schmick, the mental institution on Stockton. She just got home today. I was home alone for the most part, taking care of Scooter. On Saturday some of my family came over to make sure I was alright, and Daniel brought me groceries, so that was cool. But the whole time she was gone I kept thinking about how empty the house was and how it's probably that way when I'm gone too. And how it was like that every other day for four months because I was out getting fucked up all the time.
I don't really know what to think. Sean's not coming back. I'm not ever leaving. I don't even feel like a whole person anymore.