pissss
After purging all emotion only a week ago how is it that i still feel so fucking angry. I'm just so drained i can't think i've lost my creative energy- i just want to sleep. I guess everything stems from being lonely. I want a boyfriend, is that crazy that i would want to commit myself to someone when the last thing i believe in is an HONEST man. I sincerely think there is no such thing, but how will i ever know if i just don't jump in. Well chances are i've already jumped and im about to land flat on my fucking face. But i'll draw some humor from the situation and make myself laugh. I hate planting my feelings within someone else, but its the only way to ever be successful in a relationship. When i open myself (and no i don't mean my legs) i get to feeling real voulnerable and scared. At the same time i love that possibility of someone to just chill with, when your wearing no makeup and they don't mind playing with your dirty hair. You catch my drift. Basis of it is i'm fucking alone. And BOOOOO it sucks