wow.... :'(
these last couple days have been crazy!!!!
~last nite i went with justin to ben's viewing....there were so many people there....the line went up n down in two rooms the whole way outside into the parking lot!!! justin n i waited about 2 1/2 hours until we saw bens family!!! i was fine pretty much the whole time...but when they showed pictures of ben on a tv it started to get hard to hold the tears back... it showed pics of ben n his family n friends and a lot of him n his lil brother!!! when we were just about almost to ben....his g/f got there...she couldn't even go up to him....her mom came over to her but she pushed her away.... i couldn't even imagine what she was going through, to be so close to his body like that but him not really being there.... if i ever lost justin like that it would break my heart...idk what i would do... its scary!!! when we finally got to ben it was so weird...it didn't look like him...maybe it was b/c of how much make-up they put on him.....but i think its b/c i never once saw him not smiling...n seeing him like that ..it just didn't look like him...
~today me pooks n justin went to bens funeral... there was no stopping the tears today... they played the song one more day....n i started crying... just thinking that we're never gonna see him on earth ever again scared me i miss ben soooo much...just the few conversations i had w/ him i'm gonna miss....he was always someone that could cheer you up no matter what(even just by looking at you)... BEN WE LOVE YOU AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO MISS YOU!!!
~thinking about what happened to ben made me think about how easy it would be to lose someone!!! i wish i could spend all of my time w/ all of my friends n family....just to make up for anytime that may get taken away i love my friends so much!!! i don't think i could bare to lose anyone else!!!
just so a few people know incase anything might happen...
kayla jean....i love my pookie so much...your the greatest best friend anyone could ask for... i don't know what i would do w/ out you... your always there for me.....n i just hope that i can be there for you when you ever need someone...i love all the times we spend just sitten around dancin, n makin fun of each other....I LOVE YOU SWEETYKINS!!!!!!
justin lynn....your the best boyfriend in the whole entire world...i love how no matter what mood i'm in you can always make me laugh...n how you say THIS IS MY SONG to EVERY SINGLE SONG that comes on the radio that you like!!! n how you get so jealous so easily b/c it shows how much you care about me!!! i hope that you never leave this world w/ out me b/c i don't wanna learn how to live w/ out you!!! i love you
allee, stader, paige, emmis, n jill- i love you guys to death i've never had more fun w/ anyone else than this group you guys are my best friends please don't ever leave!!!
kyle, cody, ryan- you guys are great...your the best GUY friends anyone could have... i love you guys!!!
well i'm out.....i love you, everybody!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sting - I'll Be Missing You Lyrics
Yeah, this right here goes out
to everyone who's lost someone
that they truly loved....
Check it out....
Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me takin' flics
Makin' hits, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
(I'll be missing you)
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
Oh can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take.
Somebody tell me why...
One black morning
When this life is over
I know, I'll see your face
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you...
We miss you
~last nite i went with justin to ben's viewing....there were so many people there....the line went up n down in two rooms the whole way outside into the parking lot!!! justin n i waited about 2 1/2 hours until we saw bens family!!! i was fine pretty much the whole time...but when they showed pictures of ben on a tv it started to get hard to hold the tears back... it showed pics of ben n his family n friends and a lot of him n his lil brother!!! when we were just about almost to ben....his g/f got there...she couldn't even go up to him....her mom came over to her but she pushed her away.... i couldn't even imagine what she was going through, to be so close to his body like that but him not really being there.... if i ever lost justin like that it would break my heart...idk what i would do... its scary!!! when we finally got to ben it was so weird...it didn't look like him...maybe it was b/c of how much make-up they put on him.....but i think its b/c i never once saw him not smiling...n seeing him like that ..it just didn't look like him...
~today me pooks n justin went to bens funeral... there was no stopping the tears today... they played the song one more day....n i started crying... just thinking that we're never gonna see him on earth ever again scared me i miss ben soooo much...just the few conversations i had w/ him i'm gonna miss....he was always someone that could cheer you up no matter what(even just by looking at you)... BEN WE LOVE YOU AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO MISS YOU!!!
~thinking about what happened to ben made me think about how easy it would be to lose someone!!! i wish i could spend all of my time w/ all of my friends n family....just to make up for anytime that may get taken away i love my friends so much!!! i don't think i could bare to lose anyone else!!!
just so a few people know incase anything might happen...
kayla jean....i love my pookie so much...your the greatest best friend anyone could ask for... i don't know what i would do w/ out you... your always there for me.....n i just hope that i can be there for you when you ever need someone...i love all the times we spend just sitten around dancin, n makin fun of each other....I LOVE YOU SWEETYKINS!!!!!!
justin lynn....your the best boyfriend in the whole entire world...i love how no matter what mood i'm in you can always make me laugh...n how you say THIS IS MY SONG to EVERY SINGLE SONG that comes on the radio that you like!!! n how you get so jealous so easily b/c it shows how much you care about me!!! i hope that you never leave this world w/ out me b/c i don't wanna learn how to live w/ out you!!! i love you
allee, stader, paige, emmis, n jill- i love you guys to death i've never had more fun w/ anyone else than this group you guys are my best friends please don't ever leave!!!
kyle, cody, ryan- you guys are great...your the best GUY friends anyone could have... i love you guys!!!
well i'm out.....i love you, everybody!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sting - I'll Be Missing You Lyrics
Yeah, this right here goes out
to everyone who's lost someone
that they truly loved....
Check it out....
Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me takin' flics
Makin' hits, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
(I'll be missing you)
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
Oh can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take.
Somebody tell me why...
One black morning
When this life is over
I know, I'll see your face
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you...
We miss you