LOL
By the time we actually taxi to a stop and the flight attendant
finally gives us all permission to stand up and leave, Scully's
talking about driving me straight to the hospital. I argue with
her all the way into the terminal, whining pathetically and
generally acting like an ass. "I'm not going to a hospital in
Hellhole, Idaho," I say.
"We're actually in Boise," she points out.
"Whatever."
That's until I retreat into the bathroom and get a look at
myself in the mirror. My nose is one swollen purple bruise, my
upper lip looks like I tried to hot-wax it myself and the area
under my eyes is puffy and pink. Sweat is making my forehead
look larger and more greasy than normal and my eyes are both
glittering and bloodshot. There is no way I can question a
suspect looking like I've been out behind Murphy's Tavern
alternately brawling and barfing for the last three days. Even
my hair looks like shit, all spiky and sticking up in weird
tufts. This is what happens when water touching your face makes
you scream, but you've still got to wash your hair.
From Jess M's Hellhole, Idaho, the sequel to Butt, Montana.
They might just be the funniest X-Files fics I've read. The description of Mulder's injured nose throughout the fic is very funny. And also there's Jack. Hehe.