Future looks bright!
It's been too long. WAYYY too long. I'm been coasting, comfortable. Recently looking for a change. I love my mom, but living in her house since 2002 has put a damper on our relationship. The past two years I've been trying to leave. Either with a friend or myself, I wanted/want out. My independence. Not someone looking over my shoulder at every move judging. One potential roommate fell through. One potential relationship where I could live with him fell through. Another fucking friend roommate fell through. Then I met Alex. Out drunk with my best friend and for some reason he bought us shots. Don't know if his intention was her or me, but he sat by me dirty, full of concrete, and I was enamored by his smile. So bright. So genuine. We went out to smoke and I couldn't focus. I told my friend I was gonna make out with him, and I pushed his stranger ass against the bricks and did. We've has our snafus. He's moving in a month to be by his kids. Yes. The girl who swore would never be with someone who had kids is in love with a daddy of three. I'm going with him. I cheated on him. I was insecure. Didn't believe that he wasn't fucking around, so fooled around with a friend. Told him. Broke up for 20 hours, then told him I would go ANYTHING to be with him. I would. I will. Not only is he completely hot, he's an AMAZING dad. I cherish that. We're in love, but he's moving to be by his kids. He should, THEY should be number 1. I'm totally ok with number two. I know after 4 INTENSE months he loves me, and I love him. I'm TERRIFIED of moving. I'm TERRIFIED that he is so uncertain of the future, it is all dependent on his ex wife moving the kids around, but I need this. I need it for me. To be uncomfortable. A struggle as we work as a family, struggling financially, struggling with feelings. I never wanted to be a stepmom. I've had more than a handful...but we compliment each other. He makes me smile, giggle, and feel safe. Not to mention the best and most comforting sex of my life. I'm going to do this. I know we'll be fine. He'll take care of me, but it's all scary, exciting, and wonderful all at the same time. I need a change and thank God it's a man like him who's brought it to my life. To be continued....
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