Ramblings...
I was just looking at this brochure of my sister's called "Why vegan?" and it had all of these pictures of animals in crates and their living conditions, and them being slaughtered, and it was really gross. Kind of makes me consider becoming a vegetarian. Part of it talks about how all of these places that raise animals for slaughter hurt the environment and take some of our resources. I'm thinking, ok, someone might decide to go vegan or vegetarian from looking at that, but it's not going to stop it from happening. I wonder if the people who put those things out think that if enough people stop eating meat it will change. I don't think that would ever happen.
That was my bit of randomness for the day.
Last week I had a really bad day...my grandma (who is 81, we should all live so long) was put in the hospital again for congestive heart failure. At first, my mom just took her to the ER b/c she hadn't been feeling well for like a week and they didn't think it was anything bad and they were going to let her go, then I get off work and find out that she had to stay in the hospital. That was Wednesday...the bad day was Thursday, though. I went to visit my grandma at the hospital, and it really freaks me out. I HATE hospitals. I start feeling sick or start having weird pains when I get around all of the patient rooms. I hate the smell and how you can't do anything for yourself. I've decided I've got to get healthy now, so I can avoid the hospital as much as possible in the future. So, anyway, I started thinking about how we take for granted that she'll just always be there...I mean, she's 81 and she's in the hospital but we just all assume she'll be fine. A million scenarios about her dying ran through my mind that day. I feel bad just typing that out...like if I say it it will happen. I just cried a lot...then my older sister went to the dermatologist that day and had a mole removed and biopsied b/c it might be early melanoma. If it is and if they caught it soon enough, removing it should cure her...but what if it's bad? I don't think you're considered to have cancer if you have a cancerous mole and it's removed, but I just started thinking that we can't have someone else in this family have cancer, and melanoma is the worst kind of skin cancer, and once again a million scenarios went through my head. I found out about that right before I left my grandma at the hospital and when I got home I just cried. I was so freaked out...I'm much better now. Grandma might be going home tomorrow and she's doing fine, and my sister is still waiting on the biopsy results. I'm sure she'll be fine, too. I've been needing to get that out for days now.
I have this habit of thinking about past conflicts and how I should have handled them, you know, like saying just the right thing. It's always easier when you're looking back. It was weird b/c somehow I got this thing from high school in my head, I think. I can't even remember what it was, but I remember it was a long time ago and I was like, man I should've said that! I'm so weird. That would have been a much better story if I could remember it. :)
People used to say I was so funny and told the funniest stories...when I wasn't even trying. I don't get that much anymore. Here's the two that started it all that night at initiate retreat, just b/c I'm bored:
Someone at the hotel on the retreat suggested playing truth or dare and I said something like: "In 9th grade I was at a party and they dared me to drink toilet water, but the mom said no, so they made me eat lotion instead. Pizza really gets the taste of lotion out of your mouth."
And later somehow I got talking about band, probably since half of the people there used to play flute, and I was telling a story about a halftime show at a game: "One night we had to march on a wet field after it had rained and we had this part where we were all in a line taking really big steps backwards really fast and all of a sudden we had to go forward and when we did like 5 of us at the end of the line slipped on the wet grass and it was like a domino effect."
Ashley B. and Evan kept wanting me to tell them stories after that, but I could never think of any. When Ashley would tell people I told funny stories she would say that my story about band was, "Once we were marching and then we fell," and she said that when I told it I laughed like it was so funny, but I don't remember laughing at it. Oh well, her retelling of it was always more entertaining. I guess it's all in how you remember it. That's why my title for my lj is "The latest tale from the Storyteller" b/c that was me...I would change it, but I can't think of anything else original.
Wow, I didn't plan on writing most of that.
That was my bit of randomness for the day.
Last week I had a really bad day...my grandma (who is 81, we should all live so long) was put in the hospital again for congestive heart failure. At first, my mom just took her to the ER b/c she hadn't been feeling well for like a week and they didn't think it was anything bad and they were going to let her go, then I get off work and find out that she had to stay in the hospital. That was Wednesday...the bad day was Thursday, though. I went to visit my grandma at the hospital, and it really freaks me out. I HATE hospitals. I start feeling sick or start having weird pains when I get around all of the patient rooms. I hate the smell and how you can't do anything for yourself. I've decided I've got to get healthy now, so I can avoid the hospital as much as possible in the future. So, anyway, I started thinking about how we take for granted that she'll just always be there...I mean, she's 81 and she's in the hospital but we just all assume she'll be fine. A million scenarios about her dying ran through my mind that day. I feel bad just typing that out...like if I say it it will happen. I just cried a lot...then my older sister went to the dermatologist that day and had a mole removed and biopsied b/c it might be early melanoma. If it is and if they caught it soon enough, removing it should cure her...but what if it's bad? I don't think you're considered to have cancer if you have a cancerous mole and it's removed, but I just started thinking that we can't have someone else in this family have cancer, and melanoma is the worst kind of skin cancer, and once again a million scenarios went through my head. I found out about that right before I left my grandma at the hospital and when I got home I just cried. I was so freaked out...I'm much better now. Grandma might be going home tomorrow and she's doing fine, and my sister is still waiting on the biopsy results. I'm sure she'll be fine, too. I've been needing to get that out for days now.
I have this habit of thinking about past conflicts and how I should have handled them, you know, like saying just the right thing. It's always easier when you're looking back. It was weird b/c somehow I got this thing from high school in my head, I think. I can't even remember what it was, but I remember it was a long time ago and I was like, man I should've said that! I'm so weird. That would have been a much better story if I could remember it. :)
People used to say I was so funny and told the funniest stories...when I wasn't even trying. I don't get that much anymore. Here's the two that started it all that night at initiate retreat, just b/c I'm bored:
Someone at the hotel on the retreat suggested playing truth or dare and I said something like: "In 9th grade I was at a party and they dared me to drink toilet water, but the mom said no, so they made me eat lotion instead. Pizza really gets the taste of lotion out of your mouth."
And later somehow I got talking about band, probably since half of the people there used to play flute, and I was telling a story about a halftime show at a game: "One night we had to march on a wet field after it had rained and we had this part where we were all in a line taking really big steps backwards really fast and all of a sudden we had to go forward and when we did like 5 of us at the end of the line slipped on the wet grass and it was like a domino effect."
Ashley B. and Evan kept wanting me to tell them stories after that, but I could never think of any. When Ashley would tell people I told funny stories she would say that my story about band was, "Once we were marching and then we fell," and she said that when I told it I laughed like it was so funny, but I don't remember laughing at it. Oh well, her retelling of it was always more entertaining. I guess it's all in how you remember it. That's why my title for my lj is "The latest tale from the Storyteller" b/c that was me...I would change it, but I can't think of anything else original.
Wow, I didn't plan on writing most of that.