why do you come here
to go back? or not to go back...
what the hell do i do?
i'm all kinds of stressed out at the moment, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do about it.
the rundown:
1. my car is being an asshole. got the studs off (which is a good thing) and the guy told me that my alignment was off.
so today we took it to commercial tire and got the alignment fixed. it was off by 26 degrees! holy shit. at least that's fixed though. but now i have to go take it in at some point to get a tune up so that it doesn't explode. cuz fixed alignment does nothing when the car doesn't run, right?
there's one thing...
2. my job is being an asshole. i'm going to bitch a lot here i think. i hate wal mart with a passion. i know that it's SUPPOSED to be a good company to work for. and by all fairness, it is, if you are middle-age white trash... or 80. younger people (i.e. people in their early to mid 20's) get NO respect... unless they are the social chameleons that you would expect to suck up to a major corporation that's trying to take over the world... (those are the white trash ones... or rather were when they were still in high school) i can't get anyone to listen to me... i get in trouble all the time for really stupid things like chewing gum. wtf? is that against the law? do customers get angry when they see someone cheweing gum? do they get angry at themselves when THEY chew gum? wait, but they get mad when they see a cashier drinking mountain dew... a manager told me this. well, she told a bunch of us this, but i'm almost positive that it was directed at me... cuz i drink mountain dew all the time, and i'm 20 years old. silly me. why can't i just fast forward time and become a thirty-something divorced housewife so that i can get on with my career at good ol' wal mart. also, the one person that i really don't like in this world JUST GOT HIRED there. wonderful. i'm pretty sure that he's out to ruin my life. he is the sole reason that i don't have a home anymore, and now, he's REALLY not helping the fact that i ALREADY don't like my job. way to go, asshole.
the thing about me being really really angry at my job is that i don't have any other options right now. i can't afford to lose my job, whether i quit or get fired for something stupid, as mentioned earlier...
lame.
3. my lack of having a home is being an asshole... what? i really don't enjoy not having a place that i can call my home... or house, as a home is where you feel comfortable living. i know that the last few places that i have lived weren't the best things to happen to me, but i still could say "yeah, i'm going HOME." now, i can't really do that. okay, so i TECHNICALLY live at my mom's house now. but do i actually sleep in my own room? no. do i have a place that i can put my things without the infestation of pre-pubescent boys or stupid dogs that look like hippos? no. do i have (this is a good one) a BED that i can sleep in? (in my mom's house) no. i have complete freedom there, but what good is that when you don't have a place that you can be in your own little world, away from human existance. just for a while... *epiphany. see below* also, at my mom's house, both her AND my sister still smoke. i'm trying to quit doing that. thus, it is even more difficult to be there more than 1/2 hour. the living situation there is like this: my mom, my sister, 2 brothers, 2 cats, and 2 bulldogs that REALLY look like hippos. the house itself is this: A 3 BEDROOM DUPLEX!! it's the tiniest fucking thing to ever shelter a family of 4 with 4 animals, and then me and all my belongings thrown in the mix. so what do i do there? i don't ever go there, that's what. and this is what i feel sorta bad about. i'm never there, but that's where my mail is sent. for the last 2 weeks (or something like that, since i can't seem to remember what day it is) i've been staying at david's house. i know that is a wonderful thing, that i am VERY happy about, but still, even there, i can't get my own space once in a while. *see below*
here's a funny thing. when i went to go get my name off the lease after i moved out, the lady told me that i didn't have to worry about it cuz she was just going to put a 30 day notice on the door anyway. so i didn't have to do anything there. well, i've been hearing lots of different things regarding whether aaron is going to stay there or not. i actually talked to him tonight and he told me that for some reason, pee wee probaby isn't going to stay there, and if this thing with him getting into the new places on adams doesn't work out, then he's probably just going to stay there. i talked to him about that for a few, and he said that i should move back in there. wtf? do i do that? probably not, but i still want to talk to him about what would happen IF i did such a thing. i don't know anymore than he does on what i'm going to do. also, with that being said, i can't even afford to live there, let alone anywhere else that isn't my mom's house... or rather SAYING that i live there. i have to find another job (or second one) before i can do anything that involves moving my stuff again. and that's ALWAYS a fun process.
*epiphany*
i think a lot of my problems right at the moment is that i haven't been by my self for more than a drive to and from any given place (and even then sometimes not) for almost a month now. i'm not saying that being around a certain person isn't wonderful and grand and all that jazz, i'm just thinking that i need some time to myself. reason being that i haven't HAD said time alone is the whole bit about not having a home that i can call my own.
i'm starting to forget the things that i was going to say now, so i'm probably done writing this. when i think of more, i'll rant and bitch for all of you to read again. hooray for that.
my shoulder hurts.
and i'm tired.
farewell and goodnight.
<3 KT
what the hell do i do?
i'm all kinds of stressed out at the moment, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do about it.
the rundown:
1. my car is being an asshole. got the studs off (which is a good thing) and the guy told me that my alignment was off.
so today we took it to commercial tire and got the alignment fixed. it was off by 26 degrees! holy shit. at least that's fixed though. but now i have to go take it in at some point to get a tune up so that it doesn't explode. cuz fixed alignment does nothing when the car doesn't run, right?
there's one thing...
2. my job is being an asshole. i'm going to bitch a lot here i think. i hate wal mart with a passion. i know that it's SUPPOSED to be a good company to work for. and by all fairness, it is, if you are middle-age white trash... or 80. younger people (i.e. people in their early to mid 20's) get NO respect... unless they are the social chameleons that you would expect to suck up to a major corporation that's trying to take over the world... (those are the white trash ones... or rather were when they were still in high school) i can't get anyone to listen to me... i get in trouble all the time for really stupid things like chewing gum. wtf? is that against the law? do customers get angry when they see someone cheweing gum? do they get angry at themselves when THEY chew gum? wait, but they get mad when they see a cashier drinking mountain dew... a manager told me this. well, she told a bunch of us this, but i'm almost positive that it was directed at me... cuz i drink mountain dew all the time, and i'm 20 years old. silly me. why can't i just fast forward time and become a thirty-something divorced housewife so that i can get on with my career at good ol' wal mart. also, the one person that i really don't like in this world JUST GOT HIRED there. wonderful. i'm pretty sure that he's out to ruin my life. he is the sole reason that i don't have a home anymore, and now, he's REALLY not helping the fact that i ALREADY don't like my job. way to go, asshole.
the thing about me being really really angry at my job is that i don't have any other options right now. i can't afford to lose my job, whether i quit or get fired for something stupid, as mentioned earlier...
lame.
3. my lack of having a home is being an asshole... what? i really don't enjoy not having a place that i can call my home... or house, as a home is where you feel comfortable living. i know that the last few places that i have lived weren't the best things to happen to me, but i still could say "yeah, i'm going HOME." now, i can't really do that. okay, so i TECHNICALLY live at my mom's house now. but do i actually sleep in my own room? no. do i have a place that i can put my things without the infestation of pre-pubescent boys or stupid dogs that look like hippos? no. do i have (this is a good one) a BED that i can sleep in? (in my mom's house) no. i have complete freedom there, but what good is that when you don't have a place that you can be in your own little world, away from human existance. just for a while... *epiphany. see below* also, at my mom's house, both her AND my sister still smoke. i'm trying to quit doing that. thus, it is even more difficult to be there more than 1/2 hour. the living situation there is like this: my mom, my sister, 2 brothers, 2 cats, and 2 bulldogs that REALLY look like hippos. the house itself is this: A 3 BEDROOM DUPLEX!! it's the tiniest fucking thing to ever shelter a family of 4 with 4 animals, and then me and all my belongings thrown in the mix. so what do i do there? i don't ever go there, that's what. and this is what i feel sorta bad about. i'm never there, but that's where my mail is sent. for the last 2 weeks (or something like that, since i can't seem to remember what day it is) i've been staying at david's house. i know that is a wonderful thing, that i am VERY happy about, but still, even there, i can't get my own space once in a while. *see below*
here's a funny thing. when i went to go get my name off the lease after i moved out, the lady told me that i didn't have to worry about it cuz she was just going to put a 30 day notice on the door anyway. so i didn't have to do anything there. well, i've been hearing lots of different things regarding whether aaron is going to stay there or not. i actually talked to him tonight and he told me that for some reason, pee wee probaby isn't going to stay there, and if this thing with him getting into the new places on adams doesn't work out, then he's probably just going to stay there. i talked to him about that for a few, and he said that i should move back in there. wtf? do i do that? probably not, but i still want to talk to him about what would happen IF i did such a thing. i don't know anymore than he does on what i'm going to do. also, with that being said, i can't even afford to live there, let alone anywhere else that isn't my mom's house... or rather SAYING that i live there. i have to find another job (or second one) before i can do anything that involves moving my stuff again. and that's ALWAYS a fun process.
*epiphany*
i think a lot of my problems right at the moment is that i haven't been by my self for more than a drive to and from any given place (and even then sometimes not) for almost a month now. i'm not saying that being around a certain person isn't wonderful and grand and all that jazz, i'm just thinking that i need some time to myself. reason being that i haven't HAD said time alone is the whole bit about not having a home that i can call my own.
i'm starting to forget the things that i was going to say now, so i'm probably done writing this. when i think of more, i'll rant and bitch for all of you to read again. hooray for that.
my shoulder hurts.
and i'm tired.
farewell and goodnight.
<3 KT