How Did I End Up Here?
Aint it the truth that just when you've got everything going for you, the people around you have everything go to shit?
Here I am back at school. I'm taking some stuff that's a joke, aka philosophy but i cant even say that i hate it tht much because I met my new friend Lynn there and basically we're awesome. Ummm I'm in a environmental bio class that I thought I was taking just to pass, but I actually like it a lot because all we do is watch movies, so I can't complain. Umm second semester english is boring and pointless but it's team learning so I get to sit with Stefano, Mark, Tom, and John and we basically do work for like 15 minutes every class and then talk about whatever. Tuesday we examined the worst Batman ever, George Clooney, and his batsuit which in case you weren't aware was the only batsuit that had nipples on it. Psych and my social problems class are great though because theyre both for my major, so I digress....
I work a lot, like enough to be full-time I think...I had 31 hours last week, but I was still keeping up with school and I love most of my co-workers so that was going well. I was even put in charge of some things, like the 101 Dalmatians DVD pre-sale and the hardware closet. We get our reviews in a month and I hear that raises are a usual thing, so that looked good too.
I started doing some really good things too. I started cooking dinner for the fam because a lot of the time everyone gets out of work late so it's kinda helpful. I'm trying to start being a better long-distance friend and started by calling a bunch of peeps that I haven't seen, which was probably something that I should've done before this, but better late than never. And I started boxing! Yeah, I know how that sounds but I got a punching bag for Christmas and I use it every other day and I am by far the most relaxed person ever after I box. I'm basically the Dalai fucking Lama.
But then here's where it gets rough. First off, and the less serious of the two, Mike and Emily broke up. Usually this wouldn't be a problem, especially because Emily is the one who broke it off, but Mke goes to Canisius with me and every time I see him he looks like a lonely lost puppy. One day I was on my way out and he managed to find me before I left and we chatted for 30+ minutes. He's pretty upset about it though so I do make time for him. I even made some pretty delicious cookies for him, mainly because if I'm frustrated and it's not a boxing day I bake up a storm. I don't mind Mike though because he's a good guy and I know how sucky break-ups/offs feel just as good as anyone else...
Then there's Marc. Honestly, it's one of those things that makes me feel like I have to be a grown-up, and it scares the shit out of me. I hadn't talked to Marc in a while, like a month, but that sometimes happens to us because we both get busy and it's never been a problem because then we have like 32402384 more things to talk about. Well, here I am thinking that that's clearly what's going on...sadly no. Marc's dad was diagnosed with stage III lung cancer, and seeing there's only four stages, it's pretty clear to me what that means. I was so in shock about it I honestly was scared about calling him because there's basically no one I care more about and I didn't know how I would react to him not being in a good place. I called him anyway, but we played phone-tag for almost a week, but I did end up talking to a couple of his aunts. Not because I was doing anything creepy, but there's a benefit for his dad and I called to get tickets from the number on the flyer about it and not only did they both know exactly who I was, but they filled me in on everything going on, which was good because I didn't really want to talk to Marc without having some knowledge of what was going on. I finally got him on the phone for like an hour today. I don't even know why I expected him to act like a normal person when it comes to things l because he never does, which is one of those things that is so great about him. We didn't really talk about it, which is probably a good thing because I'm sure anyone who knows talks about it with him. I don't even think he was comfortable telling me, but when he told me he was busy next weekend, I told him I was too because I had bought a ticket and I think that's all that needed to be said about it now. If he needs to talk about it, he knows I'm here and sometimes-most of the time- he surprises me when he opens up about things like that...I know we're hanging out friday, so we'll see how that goes...
It's one of those things that always makes you feel like you've got to be such an adult and I'm not entirely comfortable with that feeling. Not that I mind being there for people, but it's just when life gets deep like this I know that I'm not as grown-up as I think I am and that I've still got a long way to go. And in response, I write these kind of livejournal posts that don't even really sound like me...or maybe they do, but more of adult Katie. I don't know. I guess I'll do what I can and see where it goes from there...
Here I am back at school. I'm taking some stuff that's a joke, aka philosophy but i cant even say that i hate it tht much because I met my new friend Lynn there and basically we're awesome. Ummm I'm in a environmental bio class that I thought I was taking just to pass, but I actually like it a lot because all we do is watch movies, so I can't complain. Umm second semester english is boring and pointless but it's team learning so I get to sit with Stefano, Mark, Tom, and John and we basically do work for like 15 minutes every class and then talk about whatever. Tuesday we examined the worst Batman ever, George Clooney, and his batsuit which in case you weren't aware was the only batsuit that had nipples on it. Psych and my social problems class are great though because theyre both for my major, so I digress....
I work a lot, like enough to be full-time I think...I had 31 hours last week, but I was still keeping up with school and I love most of my co-workers so that was going well. I was even put in charge of some things, like the 101 Dalmatians DVD pre-sale and the hardware closet. We get our reviews in a month and I hear that raises are a usual thing, so that looked good too.
I started doing some really good things too. I started cooking dinner for the fam because a lot of the time everyone gets out of work late so it's kinda helpful. I'm trying to start being a better long-distance friend and started by calling a bunch of peeps that I haven't seen, which was probably something that I should've done before this, but better late than never. And I started boxing! Yeah, I know how that sounds but I got a punching bag for Christmas and I use it every other day and I am by far the most relaxed person ever after I box. I'm basically the Dalai fucking Lama.
But then here's where it gets rough. First off, and the less serious of the two, Mike and Emily broke up. Usually this wouldn't be a problem, especially because Emily is the one who broke it off, but Mke goes to Canisius with me and every time I see him he looks like a lonely lost puppy. One day I was on my way out and he managed to find me before I left and we chatted for 30+ minutes. He's pretty upset about it though so I do make time for him. I even made some pretty delicious cookies for him, mainly because if I'm frustrated and it's not a boxing day I bake up a storm. I don't mind Mike though because he's a good guy and I know how sucky break-ups/offs feel just as good as anyone else...
Then there's Marc. Honestly, it's one of those things that makes me feel like I have to be a grown-up, and it scares the shit out of me. I hadn't talked to Marc in a while, like a month, but that sometimes happens to us because we both get busy and it's never been a problem because then we have like 32402384 more things to talk about. Well, here I am thinking that that's clearly what's going on...sadly no. Marc's dad was diagnosed with stage III lung cancer, and seeing there's only four stages, it's pretty clear to me what that means. I was so in shock about it I honestly was scared about calling him because there's basically no one I care more about and I didn't know how I would react to him not being in a good place. I called him anyway, but we played phone-tag for almost a week, but I did end up talking to a couple of his aunts. Not because I was doing anything creepy, but there's a benefit for his dad and I called to get tickets from the number on the flyer about it and not only did they both know exactly who I was, but they filled me in on everything going on, which was good because I didn't really want to talk to Marc without having some knowledge of what was going on. I finally got him on the phone for like an hour today. I don't even know why I expected him to act like a normal person when it comes to things l because he never does, which is one of those things that is so great about him. We didn't really talk about it, which is probably a good thing because I'm sure anyone who knows talks about it with him. I don't even think he was comfortable telling me, but when he told me he was busy next weekend, I told him I was too because I had bought a ticket and I think that's all that needed to be said about it now. If he needs to talk about it, he knows I'm here and sometimes-most of the time- he surprises me when he opens up about things like that...I know we're hanging out friday, so we'll see how that goes...
It's one of those things that always makes you feel like you've got to be such an adult and I'm not entirely comfortable with that feeling. Not that I mind being there for people, but it's just when life gets deep like this I know that I'm not as grown-up as I think I am and that I've still got a long way to go. And in response, I write these kind of livejournal posts that don't even really sound like me...or maybe they do, but more of adult Katie. I don't know. I guess I'll do what I can and see where it goes from there...