Crack Pipes
"Extreme fluctuations in temperatures changes have been known to crack pipes." ~Sage Francis
The moon was hanging low over Dalaran, or rather beside. It seemed so close and near that Raoul could not see the bottom half behind the silhouettes of spires in the Sunreaver's Sanctuary. But here under this little archway across the city, Raoul didn't dare reach out to touch it.
He was struggling just to maintain himself here on the ground. Everyday he managed to laugh and joke with Amavia Delaurac, his partner and lover, even when she had another man living in their house. He was facing reproach from his superiors on every level within the K.T.I. Even his newfound relationship with his father was being shaken up by a new addition to the family.
Not his family, he reminded himself.
Raoul kicked lightly at the ground. Sidoni and Llew Wheaton were having a baby now, and even if his father insisted Raoul should be there as a big brother and son, Raoul understood that he was just carrying around the Wheaton name. He wasn't Sidoni's son and a few months ago he wasn't even Llew's.
Still he found the time to laugh and enjoy the holiday, pushing everything else down into his gut until he was sick from it. Now, finally with time to himself, he was sweating and nervous. There was judgment in the silence, for himself and others. All of this hot and cold, up and down, was going to kill him some day.
"Do you always leave the house after Amavia falls asleep?"
The question from his side was unexpected and startling. It didn't inspire him to jump and whirl to face who was speaking though. He recognized the voice even if it wasn't gravelly like usual.
Juma.
Raoul ran a hand through his brown hair and chuckled helplessly in frustration, "You have got to be the last person on this planet that I want to talk to right now, Sangrey."
The subtle insult didn't drive the Juma away. He wasn't as imposing in his human form, but he was just as stubborn. "You know Amavia would really like it if you started calling me Juma."
"Oh yeah? I bet she'd also like it if we were best buddies and it rained candy from the sky and oh, wouldn't it be great if Deathwing had never come and her mom hadn't been Defias? Gee, yeah, I'd like that too."
While Raoul's voice dripped sarcasm, Juma tried to be calm and reasonable.
"If you won't stop calling me Sangrey for her, then stop because that's not who I am anymore."
Raoul folded his arms and looked at Juma like he was stupid. "Oh you're not? Well then I guess I owe you an apology. Because here I thought that you were a slimy necromancer from the Underbelly who created undead and sold his soul to fel magic. It's not like you did little things like stealing or jaywalking."
Juma flared his nostrils. "I know I did some terrible things, but I'm not Sangrey anymore. Would 'Sangrey' have saved your life when you were caught in quarantine in Alterac? Would 'Sangrey' have defended you from a stranger and kept quiet about it to Amavia?"
"You're not magically a different person just because you changed your name and did a few good deeds. That doesn't impress me. You're still a coward that won't fight fairly! Hiding behind your curse just like you used to hide behind Delaurac."
Juma had been staring at the Dalaran skyline before, but he smoothly turned his head to look directly at Raoul. We both have blue eyes... does she have a thing for them? "Am I 'hiding' behind either of them right now?"
If that wasn't an invitation, Raoul didn't know what was. The air became charged and any attempts at a civil conversation evaporated under the weight of their history and more recent stress. He moved in an instant and took hold of Juma's collar before slamming him up against the wall.
"You are a killer, a murderer! A son of a bitch that defiled graves! You broke a young woman that trusted you, loved you!" With each snarled accusation, Raoul jerked Juma against the wall again. Each time they shifted a little to the left, until they were finally out of space under the archway.
"How would you know anything about what I did to Amavia?!" Juma returned the snarl with one of his own, tightening his grip and fighting the urge to use claws. He tried to pry Raoul's hands from his shirt so he could push some distance between them.
"I know because I've been there!" Raoul shouted indignantly. Instead of simply letting go, he stepped back and hurled Juma to the ground.
When he landed, Juma immediately tried to lift off his side. His flesh was burning from scraping against the stones, but he didn't pay it much mind. Raoul didn't leave him time to, tackling him and struggling to get a chokehold.
"I've been betrayed by someone that I thought I loved, just like you betrayed Delaurac! I've been cut up and pushed down! I've wondered where my father was and why he wasn't saving me from people like you! People like you and Val! You took advantage of us and tried to use our love as a shield from the law. Pretend you're not a coward, but I know!"
The indignation turned to righteous anger and Juma was sure he saw a buried desperation finally surface. Silently he tried to withstand the continuing rant as well as defend himself.
"This isn't a fucking fairy tale where you just get your happy ever after because you've 'learned your lesson'! You don't just get to walk free and find your true love while families are grieving for the people you killed or defiled. A little girl, Sangrey!"
That last shout caught Juma off guard and he managed a grunted word, "What?"
"A little girl's grave! Emily Samson! How can you not remember? You dug up a little girl's grave and stole the peace of afterlife from her, the only peace she'd ever known!" Raoul's voice almost started to break and he swallowed harshly. Tears were brimming in his eyes but he didn't let go and he certainly wasn't backing down.
"Do you even know what she went through? Poor and starving every day of her life just to die watching everyone she loved be slaughtered by the Scourge!" Raoul shook Juma as his voice wavered again, growing tenser and strained. "All she had was the embrace of the Light in death and you couldn't let her keep even that. She'll never be at rest now because of you! Even if someone puts down that abomination you unleashed and cares enough to bury the individual pieces, she'll always be stained by your work!"
Juma's knuckles went white around Raoul's shoulders. He was stunned by this revelation and more than that, he was ashamed that Raoul knew more about these people than he did. In truth, Juma hadn't even looked at the names on the tombstones. He certainly hadn't asked people's names before ripping them apart.
A few tears finally fell free from Raoul's eyes now, but he gritted his teeth and only fought harder for his own display of weakness.
"Just because you don't know or care about the people you've hurt doesn't mean they've stopped existing. Emily Samson, Marilyn Faulkner, Henry Thomson, Carol Black, Jarrod Shelling! How many others that no one even found out about? WELL?!" Raoul slammed Juma's head against the ground as best he could.
Even though it lacked enough force to break skin or bone, it still made a clear point.
"They had families and stories, Sangrey! And as long as someone remembers them, you're not allowed to rest when they can't. I don't care if you took a punch for me last week or saved Delaurac and me back in Alterac. I don't care if you save my life A HUNDRED times, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" Raoul lowered his voice suddenly to a hiss, growling just for Sangrey to hear.
"Because nothing good you do now is going to undo the evils you did then. There is no such thing as redemption. So stop telling Delaurac she's going to get better by making peace with what happened. The Light isn't about 'coming to terms'; it's about burning away scum like you." Finally Raoul released him and stood up, wiping arm across his eyes to hide the evidence of tears.
He didn't want to be out here anymore.
Juma stayed on the ground and caught his breath, struggling to find words after such a brutal admonishment. It was only when he saw Raoul walking away that he thought of anything to say.
"Just-... Just because you'll never move on doesn't mean Amavia has to wallow in her pain too. Do you really think her happiness is only legitimate when it's with you?"
Over his shoulder Raoul just flipped him off and kept walking.