In a World Without
Dear Journal,
We're starting a new case. A punishment case. It seems like it was specifically designed to waste our time and make us both look stupid. People have been shoplifting and stealing things from all over Dalaran. You know what? That's nothing new. You know what else? They're expecting us to find some connection between all these random offenses and then catch them all and (I imagine) return the stolen goods._______
Someone needs to come up with a single letter or word or symbol or WHATEVER that basically sums up 'fuck everything'. Then I'd have something to fill these pages with. There is some interest to it though.
Delaurac found some sand at some of the sites and divination readings have been coming back wonky._______ A stolen inferno ruby wand came back in the divinations as having always been made of nightstone. Weird things like that. I don't know what to think of it.
A particularly unfortunate vendor had his cart cut in half. Not by like with a blade or a dragon's claw or something. No, this poor son of a bitch had his cart cut in half like a laser went through it or something. That's pretty damn exciting. I hope I get to find out what did that. Might be Mimiron inspired technology. That's kind of just a fantasy of mine though, not really something I expect out of the case._______
Delaurac has a theory too but to be honest it's just as fantastical as my "MIMIRON TAKES WHAT HE WANTS- HE PAYS FOR NOTHING" theory.
I told Dad about it and he said he knows that crowd (the thieving crowd, I assume). Even though it hurt me a lot to do it, I had to burn that letter after reading it. I can't give the Archmage anymore reasons why my father shouldn't be allowed to adopt me._______ I know by my birthday, Light it's only a few months away now, it won't matter but still.
Failing Enchantment. I know it. I dread it. A course failed. I've never failed a course before but Professor Aurelis won't give me an inch and there's so much going on that I can't keep up. I feel like I shouldn't even bother going to class._______ More time to spend with Delaurac when I know I'm just going to lose that semester credit anyway.
I wonder how disappointed Dad will be. These classes are expensive and even though there's not money coming out of his pocket, I'm still letting someone's investment go to waste. I'm pretty sure that's a crime.
I really hope I get the chance to see him again before he leaves on that salvaging trip._______ Everything keeps getting in the way. I just want one afternoon with him. Just one afternoon. To go Sailing like he suggested, or even just to sit around and drink. I want to hear where he's been and how he met Mom Sid. She's a fiery woman and he must have done something impressive to win her over.
I also want to hear about how he lost his eye and about these awesome posters he sent me.
Life just doesn't want to give us the time.
Things with Delaurac are getting out of hand too. She's acting like some broken bird trapped in a cage. Kept spouting how she'd back off if I wanted her to. How she 'thinks' she'll mess things up with me and my dad. How she's just getting in my way. She's talked about weaseling us out of this marriage contract (THE ONE SHE WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GET US INTO BY THE WAY) if that was what I wanted and all these other things.
I've never been so mad at her.
She's not some wilted flower. She's not the sorriest woman in the world defeated by everything and damaged beyond repair. I hate people like that.
That's not the girl I fell in love with. I fell in love with a courageous, funny, intelligent girl who knew how to get the job done. Someone who could put a brave face on when we were ankle deep in carnage, or would make bad puns with me when we were fighting demons. A girl that wasn't afraid to testify against her own Defias mother.
I didn't sign up for all of this sudden self-doubt and I go to great lengths not to burden her with my own.
Told her (and shown her) enough times I love her. To hear her act like I'm just using her for sex or something makes me unbelievably angry. Betrayed. Deceived. Like she lead me on by pretending to be happy when she didn't really believe in all this love I was trying to give her._______
But I think we fixed this. We had a talk and we made up like lovers do. Light, please let that be the end of that. Let this just have been a rainy week and she's just depressed because her mother died. I think that's a good reason to be upset and I really hope she's just worried because someone so close was lost._______ Please don't let this be a new and permanent part of her.
I don't know if that's a roller coaster I can stomach._______
I know I had a huge rant up there, little journal. But things really are better now. I love her. I'm going to bring her home some Darnassian takeout and we'll listen to gnome horror stories on the dramatic theatre radio station. And I'll just cuddle her. No sex. No teases. I'll try to get her to open up about her mother and we'll talk about these five children she apparently wants one day.
Anything that will make her realize I'm serious about us.
We're starting a new case. A punishment case. It seems like it was specifically designed to waste our time and make us both look stupid. People have been shoplifting and stealing things from all over Dalaran. You know what? That's nothing new. You know what else? They're expecting us to find some connection between all these random offenses and then catch them all and (I imagine) return the stolen goods._______
Someone needs to come up with a single letter or word or symbol or WHATEVER that basically sums up 'fuck everything'. Then I'd have something to fill these pages with. There is some interest to it though.
Delaurac found some sand at some of the sites and divination readings have been coming back wonky._______ A stolen inferno ruby wand came back in the divinations as having always been made of nightstone. Weird things like that. I don't know what to think of it.
A particularly unfortunate vendor had his cart cut in half. Not by like with a blade or a dragon's claw or something. No, this poor son of a bitch had his cart cut in half like a laser went through it or something. That's pretty damn exciting. I hope I get to find out what did that. Might be Mimiron inspired technology. That's kind of just a fantasy of mine though, not really something I expect out of the case._______
Delaurac has a theory too but to be honest it's just as fantastical as my "MIMIRON TAKES WHAT HE WANTS- HE PAYS FOR NOTHING" theory.
I told Dad about it and he said he knows that crowd (the thieving crowd, I assume). Even though it hurt me a lot to do it, I had to burn that letter after reading it. I can't give the Archmage anymore reasons why my father shouldn't be allowed to adopt me._______ I know by my birthday, Light it's only a few months away now, it won't matter but still.
Failing Enchantment. I know it. I dread it. A course failed. I've never failed a course before but Professor Aurelis won't give me an inch and there's so much going on that I can't keep up. I feel like I shouldn't even bother going to class._______ More time to spend with Delaurac when I know I'm just going to lose that semester credit anyway.
I wonder how disappointed Dad will be. These classes are expensive and even though there's not money coming out of his pocket, I'm still letting someone's investment go to waste. I'm pretty sure that's a crime.
I really hope I get the chance to see him again before he leaves on that salvaging trip._______ Everything keeps getting in the way. I just want one afternoon with him. Just one afternoon. To go Sailing like he suggested, or even just to sit around and drink. I want to hear where he's been and how he met Mom Sid. She's a fiery woman and he must have done something impressive to win her over.
I also want to hear about how he lost his eye and about these awesome posters he sent me.
Life just doesn't want to give us the time.
Things with Delaurac are getting out of hand too. She's acting like some broken bird trapped in a cage. Kept spouting how she'd back off if I wanted her to. How she 'thinks' she'll mess things up with me and my dad. How she's just getting in my way. She's talked about weaseling us out of this marriage contract (THE ONE SHE WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GET US INTO BY THE WAY) if that was what I wanted and all these other things.
I've never been so mad at her.
She's not some wilted flower. She's not the sorriest woman in the world defeated by everything and damaged beyond repair. I hate people like that.
That's not the girl I fell in love with. I fell in love with a courageous, funny, intelligent girl who knew how to get the job done. Someone who could put a brave face on when we were ankle deep in carnage, or would make bad puns with me when we were fighting demons. A girl that wasn't afraid to testify against her own Defias mother.
I didn't sign up for all of this sudden self-doubt and I go to great lengths not to burden her with my own.
Told her (and shown her) enough times I love her. To hear her act like I'm just using her for sex or something makes me unbelievably angry. Betrayed. Deceived. Like she lead me on by pretending to be happy when she didn't really believe in all this love I was trying to give her._______
But I think we fixed this. We had a talk and we made up like lovers do. Light, please let that be the end of that. Let this just have been a rainy week and she's just depressed because her mother died. I think that's a good reason to be upset and I really hope she's just worried because someone so close was lost._______ Please don't let this be a new and permanent part of her.
I don't know if that's a roller coaster I can stomach._______
I know I had a huge rant up there, little journal. But things really are better now. I love her. I'm going to bring her home some Darnassian takeout and we'll listen to gnome horror stories on the dramatic theatre radio station. And I'll just cuddle her. No sex. No teases. I'll try to get her to open up about her mother and we'll talk about these five children she apparently wants one day.
Anything that will make her realize I'm serious about us.