(no subject)
Im doing alot better today, this morning i grabbed a note pad and a pen and made myself write matt a letter. Even though i knew i couldnt send it yet, it helped alot. Just getting that stuff out, putting it on paper and acting like i was just talking to him. I know he will eventually get it. Hell since this morning ive written 2 more and will probably write another before I go to bed. I swear that hes gonna have live 30 or 40 letters just from me at first mail call. I dont think he will mind and it helps me alot to put how im feeling on paper and just leave it there. Suprisingly after that first letter and i got it all out the other two have been relitivaly upbeat, well as up beat as i can be right now. i dont know now that the inital shock of him being gone has come and left its almost liberating, i dont have to sit down all depressed and count the days until he leaves, all thats left is to count the days until hes with us again and thats a bit more positive. I also found a great army wife support group online and spent like an hour just talking to one of the other wives whos husband is currently in Iraq and knowing that im not alone in my feelings helped tremendously. For someone else in my situation to tell me that its ok to cry infront of the kids, that its ok to be lonely. I know youve all told me this but i dont know its different coming from someone whos wearing my shoes so to speak.