Dear god...
Dear God,
What the fuck did Vancouver Island do to deserve this rain? Did someone do a rain dance? Did I do a raindance???!!! You are so full of SHIT. First off, you made the Sakura trees blossom, you made the sprouts come up in the gardens, and you made the bunnies mount eachother. THEN, you decide to make it snow. What. The. FUCK. Now I wake up, and there is no snow to be seen, no... and it's SUNNY. This is like a breath of fresh air. Now, as I walk out for an already excruciating day of tests I see what you have cursed us with. More. Rain. No, I'm not surprised. It's like the norm for us here on VI. But this is no ordinary rain. This rain is full of hate, and evil. This rain burns the eyes, and cuts the skin when it hits you. This rain scalds the scalp, and is like a mace in the visage. The rain is one of the beefs I have with you. The other is this wind. I ACTUALLY almost was blown over. Off my feet. And not in the swooning way you grant me in one of those private moments. No, this was a shove, like a playground bully. It knocks me left and right to your will. You are nothing but the Don, the father, the Harper. I knew you were no good. What kind of sick feck would think up the mosquito anyways? Or algebra. You are not a merciful god. You are nothing but a cruel taunt on our kind. You enjoy blessing us with pain and suffering, don't you? You LOVE doing this. This.. this... this.... storm and rain that spreads your loathing of us. Well god, I fart in your general direction.
Signed,
Angry Islanders
What the fuck did Vancouver Island do to deserve this rain? Did someone do a rain dance? Did I do a raindance???!!! You are so full of SHIT. First off, you made the Sakura trees blossom, you made the sprouts come up in the gardens, and you made the bunnies mount eachother. THEN, you decide to make it snow. What. The. FUCK. Now I wake up, and there is no snow to be seen, no... and it's SUNNY. This is like a breath of fresh air. Now, as I walk out for an already excruciating day of tests I see what you have cursed us with. More. Rain. No, I'm not surprised. It's like the norm for us here on VI. But this is no ordinary rain. This rain is full of hate, and evil. This rain burns the eyes, and cuts the skin when it hits you. This rain scalds the scalp, and is like a mace in the visage. The rain is one of the beefs I have with you. The other is this wind. I ACTUALLY almost was blown over. Off my feet. And not in the swooning way you grant me in one of those private moments. No, this was a shove, like a playground bully. It knocks me left and right to your will. You are nothing but the Don, the father, the Harper. I knew you were no good. What kind of sick feck would think up the mosquito anyways? Or algebra. You are not a merciful god. You are nothing but a cruel taunt on our kind. You enjoy blessing us with pain and suffering, don't you? You LOVE doing this. This.. this... this.... storm and rain that spreads your loathing of us. Well god, I fart in your general direction.
Signed,
Angry Islanders