Охуенное автоматическое письмо

Feb 19, 2015 10:32

Я ещё расскажу, как искал работу, но одним эпизодом пора поделиться, потому что я обещал.

Когда я узнал, что мне пора искать работу, но ещё не до конца представил, что делать, я написал в Трелло. Трелло мне нравилось, потому что у них интересный продукт, связанный с управлением проектами, да и поработать с иностранцами было прикольно.

В ответ на своё письмо я получил автоматический ответ, полный юмора и заботы.

Посмотрите как они рады: «we're absolutely thrilled that you would be interested in working for Trello».

Как отвечают на вопросы, которые меня беспокоят: «we will assure you that a real live human being <...> will review your application carefully...», «you will hear back from us. It is our policy to reply to all applications».

Как уберегают меня и себя от траты времени: «keep track of all this stuff in FogBugz and that ugly case ID number in the subject is the only thing that keeps us sane», «there's probably some additional information we need to consider your application».

Как работают с письмами: «If you forgot to tell us any of these things, just hit "reply" and let us know now». Просто, блять, реплай. Для некоторых компаний это невероятные технологии - принять ответное письмо. Эпл, скажем, посылает нахуй.

А юмор - я ржал всё письмо: «...for an automated bot, I'm rather talkative, aren't I? I'll shut up now, and I assure you that I look forward with zeal to tracking down a developer, interrupting his or her lunch, and making him or her review your application».

И леску травят знатно: «If for some reason you are not actually applying for a job <...> I apologize, for I am a stupid recruiting robot, built without much cognitive ability».

Это эталон:

Working at Trello (Case 1221387)

Hurrah! We have received your job application. At least, we think it's yours. It is possible that someone who thinks very highly of you is forwarding around your resume while pretending to be you. That's not a bad thing, is it?

In any case, this is an automatic email, sent by a mindless robot, to let you know that we're absolutely thrilled that you would be interested in working for Trello. We're very honored.

Even though this is an automatic email, it's not the usual blah blah, so please read on!

First of all -- what to expect? Well, it may take a week or ten days (or even three or four as our volume of applications have increased) before a developer gets around to reviewing your application. We're a small company, and to be honest sometimes eating lunch seems more important than reviewing resumes. But we will assure you that a real live human being, not an automated computer zapper program, will review your application carefully, and only after drinking plenty of coffee and getting lots of sleep and exercise, and under no circumstances will we reject your application because you lack ten years of experience in a technology that was invented only last year.

Next -- yes, you will hear back from us. It is our policy to reply to all applications, even if we have to send you an unpleasant "go away, you smell bad" letter. We always tell people when we're rejecting them for olfactory reasons.

Now, this bit is really important: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure that when you reply to us, you reply to this email (or at least preserve the subject line with our case ID number in it). We keep track of all this stuff in FogBugz and that ugly case ID number in the subject is the only thing that keeps us sane.

Finally -- there's probably some additional information we need to consider your application:

(1) Where you're located in the world

(2) A phone number where you can be reached

(3) How you heard about the position you're interested in

(4) For applicants residing within the United States: Whether or not you have the permanent, unrestricted, legal right to work in the United States

(5) For applicants residing outside of the United States: Whether or not your workday overlaps New York afternoons (1700 - 2200 GMT)

If you forgot to tell us any of these things, just hit "reply" and let us know now.

OK, for an automated bot, I'm rather talkative, aren't I? I'll shut up now, and I assure you that I look forward with zeal to tracking down a developer, interrupting his or her lunch, and making him or her review your application.

--
The Recruiting Robot at Trello
jobs@trello.com

P.S. If for some reason you are not actually applying for a job, or if you just wrote with a question about Trello, I apologize, for I am a stupid recruiting robot, built without much cognitive ability, and rest assured that an actual human will really look at your email and reply to it appropriately.

Спустя месяц, когда я уже не особенно рассчитывал на работу в Трелло, пришёл отказ. Человек написал в тысячу раз скучнее робота:

Dear Nick,

We appreciate your interest in Trello and welcomed the opportunity to review your application.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to offer you anything at this time.

As a small company, we often receive a large number of applicants for every open position. Unfortunately, this forces us to make difficult decisions about who to hire, and we have to pass over some extraordinarily promising candidates.

We will retain your resume for future consideration, up to six months, and if an appropriate opening develops, contact you regarding your interest.

Thanks again for your interest in Trello, and best of luck to you in your career search.

Sincerely,

Michael Pryor, Founder
Trello, Inc.
www.trello.com
--
Trello Recruiting
jobs@trello.com

Спасибо @gxoptg_ за напоминание.

Дизайн, Трелло, Работа, Пример, Охуительно, Письмо, Робот, Поиск работы, Эталон

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