Her- Chapter 3 :)
Again dedicated to sophianlover7
Chapter 3
Thursday 17th February 2011
Sophie’s P.O.V
I groaned again as my alarm clock went off. I knew I had to go to college today but only going twice in three weeks had taken its effect. My hangover again didn’t help at all. The fact I was going into college without Sian didn’t make me feel any better. No friends. Only bullies. Even the nerds who sit at the front take a chance and make snide remarks. Why are people so cruel about my sexuality? I’m still Sophie. The same person I was a year ago before I fell hopelessly in love with Sian. As I trudged to the bathroom I realised I was the only one up. Well out of me and my mum because we are the only ones living in the home I thought I would be sharing with my family and Sian. But no they have all fucked off haven’t they? Because no one has time for me. No Sophie Webster has just faded into the background again. Because nothing interesting is happening in my life anymore like turning out to be a lesbian or breaking my vow to Sian. Nope when I need people they don’t care but when I need space they crowd round me like fucking vultures.
So I’ve finished my hair. Yep having it down and wavy with a side fringe is how I feel today. Besides Sian likes my hair down. Not that it matters because she isn’t here is she? Make up is hassle but I don’t want to look like a tramp and then add more insults to my name. I can see the logic in Rosie putting on make-up even if she is just popping to the shop but bright red lipstick everyday is OTT! Great I’m turning into Rosie. I pick up my phone and text Sian. I need to speak to her. I miss her and since Monday she has been ignoring me. I don’t know why?
To Sian: I love you Sian. I mean it. I know I was a bitch but I promise you it wasn’t your fault and I swear it won’t happen when you get back. I miss you and everyday all I want to do is lie in your arms. I know you are angry but please believe me you are my everything and I will do anything to make you see you are my world. I love you Sian Powers forever and always xxx
Ok so I’ve just sent one of the longest texts ever but I just want to make it up to Sian. The more I think about it I pushed her away and it was my fault she went on that holiday. I’ve got one good thing left in my life but I will probably fuck this up as well won’t I? I’m useless. I’m not counting on Sian replying but there is still hope. As I walk back into my bedroom I trip on a bottle of cider I finished off last night. I quickly shove it under my bed out of my mum’s sight and casually shove a hoodie on. As I rush downstairs I can hear my mum moving about in her room. I have five minutes until she comes down the stairs. I quickly grab a banana from the fruit bowl and grab my school bag. I don’t know if I have the right books but I don’t give a shit! I quickly rush out of the front door with my phone in my hand and run to the bus stop before my mum realises I’m up. As I sit down at the bus stop I realise I’ve got half an hour before I need to be at school so I shove my headphones in and watch people walk past. If Sian was here she would be making up stories about why people are heading in a certain direction and I would be laughing my ass off. Then she would stop me laughing by kissing me. I subtly purse my lips pretending Sian’s soft lips are on mine. I really miss her.
The bus swerves around the corner a bit too fast for my liking and the doors open loudly causing me to hold my head. I should have taken that paracetemol. I quickly rush to the back of the bus and stare out of the window. A couple of kids on the bus go to my college but they aren’t in any of my classes and I think they are loners like me. At least I’m not the only one?! I think they are too shy to even look at me let alone shout insults at me so I guess there is an advantage. As I get lost in my thoughts my phone starts ringing. I desperately plead that it isn’t my mum. I was shocked when I saw the caller I.D; ‘Sian’. I hesitated for a while but eventually accepted.
“Hello?” I said curiously as to why she was up at this time if she didn’t have college and was on holiday. “Hey Soph.” She replied quietly. I sighed. There was long silence before she spoke up. “I miss you.” She said. I smiled and this was the first time I have smiled for days. Over the past few days I have been holed up in my room with the curtains shut and chucking cheap cider down my neck. “I missed you too Sian. I’m sorry.” I replied. I could hear background noise and Sian’s voice get quieter. “I’ll be back in 4 days Soph.” She barely whispered but because of the emptiness of the bus I could just make out what she was saying. “I can’t wait.” I admitted and I knew she was smiling on the other end of the phone. “I...” She started saying something but she was interrupted by someone asking her if she was ready or something. I was confused. I didn’t recognise the voice. I heard her covering the phone up and muffled voices. She then came back on the phone and quickly blurted out. “I got to go.” My heart sank. This was our first conversation without an argument in days and she wanted to end it so soon? All I wanted to do was talk to her before facing hell. “Who was that?” I asked suspiciously. “Erm...it’s...Yusuf.” She hesitantly replied. Before I could reply she butted in again. “I really need to go Soph I’m sorry I’ll ring you later?” She asked. “I love you Sian” I replied. She quickly muttered “Yeah same.” And then she hung up. I was gutted. I mean she couldn’t even say it back. Even if she was in a rush to be somewhere she could of spared five seconds to tell her girlfriend she loved her. But that was the thing? Did she really love me or was it more of a friendly love and she just got carried away? The questions were buzzing around my head but they only stopped when the bus pulled up at my stop. I walked off slowly and made my way into college. Let the war begin.
As I walked down the corridor to my tutor room I knew people were sniggering and whispering. It got to me because I was the only one who noticed it. One day I was going to lose my temper with them and just lash out. My life is a mess and sometimes I feel as if things would be easier if I wasn’t here. “Sophie?” I clench my eyes shut and freeze as I hear someone call my name. I can sense them getting closer and I wearily turn around. I was secretly hoping it was Sian and she had come back early to surprise me but no it was the head. What did Sian say his name was? Oh shit I forgot. Oh well. “Yes?” I said. My voice had suddenly turned all quiet and angelic. I don’t know what it was but his reassuring smile made me actually feel safe at college. “Would you like to come to my office? We need to talk about your place here.” He said and gestured towards the stairs. I nodded mutely and trudged after him towards his office. What did he mean by my place here? Loads of thoughts whizzed through my mind but stopped when he shut his office door and sat opposite me behind his desk. “Is it true you have been having problems Sophie?” He asked softly and I nodded. “Would you like to explain?” He asked while playing with his computer keyboard. I gulped. Shit he was onto me.
It had been half an hour since I had started talking to him. I had told him everything. I mean everything. I don’t know where it came from but once I started I couldn’t stop. I started with the abuse from other pupils then I reluctantly moved onto the subject of the tram crash and my dad’s affair. He just listened to me and I think that is what I had wanted. I briefly mentioned Sian and the New Year’s Eve incident and then explained how my house was like a war zone. He was supportive of me and I actually thought he understood. Then came the bombshell. “I know it may have been a tough time for you Sophie but I don’t think this college is for you. Therefore with regret I am going to have to expel you permanently.” He briefly smiled but it didn’t help. I know I didn’t like college but I wanted to get the qualifications otherwise I would end up working at the factory or behind the bar at the bloody Rovers. Whereas Sian would be off doing something successful. I didn’t want to be a lowlife. He sat waiting for my answer. “Please.” Was all I could croak out. I had tears in my eyes. My life was falling apart. This was one of the final blows for me. Sian would be disappointed and so would my mum and dad. I couldn’t face them. I had to try and fix this. “I’m sorry. It is impossible for you to catch up now.” He then turned towards his computer. “Sir, I really need this please. One more chance.” I pleaded with him. If he kicked me out I would fall deeper into depression. I realised how stupid I had been by bunking off. I mean this was my future. Sian really did care didn’t she? She only wanted me to do well. I instantly felt guilt. “I’m sorry it is too late.” He said. That was it. I lost it.
The bullying, tram crash, my dad, Jack, Molly, my mum, Sian and then college. It all got too much and I lashed out. I swung my arm across his desk and smashed his coffee cup on the floor. He just sat there shocked while I was breathing heavily. I stood up. “YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS! FUCK EVERYONE! I’M USELESS AREN’T I?” I shouted. “Sophie calm down.” He stated but still stayed sitting there. “CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I FUCKING CALM DOWN? DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS? DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO TURN INTO A DEPRESSED ALCOHOLIC TEENAGER? NO! I’VE LOST EVERYTHING I USED TO HAVE AND NOW I’VE LOST MY FUTURE. WELL THANKS!” I shouted before walking out of his office and slamming the door. I didn’t expect that to happen but in some ways I was glad. I could finally let out my anger but now the tears were threatening to fall and I didn’t know if I had the strength to stop them. As I walked back to my house I felt numb. I felt like a ghost walking through Weatherfield and that no one could see me. I rounded the corner but noticed my mum outside the pub. I hid behind the tree until she went in with the factory girls. I slumped down on the bench outside the medical centre. I traced my fingers across the wooden seat and remembered all the memories I had here with Sian, Rosie, Ben and even Ryan. I slowly brought my knees up to my chest and finally let the tears flow. I couldn’t stop them now. I had been holding them in for days and I think I needed them to fall. I didn’t care who saw me I just wanted to feel human and show my emotions for once instead of shutting them out and letting alcohol in. “Sophie?” A soft voice asked.
The next chapter will carry on from the same day and may involve Sian's P.OV
Hope you enjoyed it :D
PLEASE COMMENT ;)
Chapter 3
Thursday 17th February 2011
Sophie’s P.O.V
I groaned again as my alarm clock went off. I knew I had to go to college today but only going twice in three weeks had taken its effect. My hangover again didn’t help at all. The fact I was going into college without Sian didn’t make me feel any better. No friends. Only bullies. Even the nerds who sit at the front take a chance and make snide remarks. Why are people so cruel about my sexuality? I’m still Sophie. The same person I was a year ago before I fell hopelessly in love with Sian. As I trudged to the bathroom I realised I was the only one up. Well out of me and my mum because we are the only ones living in the home I thought I would be sharing with my family and Sian. But no they have all fucked off haven’t they? Because no one has time for me. No Sophie Webster has just faded into the background again. Because nothing interesting is happening in my life anymore like turning out to be a lesbian or breaking my vow to Sian. Nope when I need people they don’t care but when I need space they crowd round me like fucking vultures.
So I’ve finished my hair. Yep having it down and wavy with a side fringe is how I feel today. Besides Sian likes my hair down. Not that it matters because she isn’t here is she? Make up is hassle but I don’t want to look like a tramp and then add more insults to my name. I can see the logic in Rosie putting on make-up even if she is just popping to the shop but bright red lipstick everyday is OTT! Great I’m turning into Rosie. I pick up my phone and text Sian. I need to speak to her. I miss her and since Monday she has been ignoring me. I don’t know why?
To Sian: I love you Sian. I mean it. I know I was a bitch but I promise you it wasn’t your fault and I swear it won’t happen when you get back. I miss you and everyday all I want to do is lie in your arms. I know you are angry but please believe me you are my everything and I will do anything to make you see you are my world. I love you Sian Powers forever and always xxx
Ok so I’ve just sent one of the longest texts ever but I just want to make it up to Sian. The more I think about it I pushed her away and it was my fault she went on that holiday. I’ve got one good thing left in my life but I will probably fuck this up as well won’t I? I’m useless. I’m not counting on Sian replying but there is still hope. As I walk back into my bedroom I trip on a bottle of cider I finished off last night. I quickly shove it under my bed out of my mum’s sight and casually shove a hoodie on. As I rush downstairs I can hear my mum moving about in her room. I have five minutes until she comes down the stairs. I quickly grab a banana from the fruit bowl and grab my school bag. I don’t know if I have the right books but I don’t give a shit! I quickly rush out of the front door with my phone in my hand and run to the bus stop before my mum realises I’m up. As I sit down at the bus stop I realise I’ve got half an hour before I need to be at school so I shove my headphones in and watch people walk past. If Sian was here she would be making up stories about why people are heading in a certain direction and I would be laughing my ass off. Then she would stop me laughing by kissing me. I subtly purse my lips pretending Sian’s soft lips are on mine. I really miss her.
The bus swerves around the corner a bit too fast for my liking and the doors open loudly causing me to hold my head. I should have taken that paracetemol. I quickly rush to the back of the bus and stare out of the window. A couple of kids on the bus go to my college but they aren’t in any of my classes and I think they are loners like me. At least I’m not the only one?! I think they are too shy to even look at me let alone shout insults at me so I guess there is an advantage. As I get lost in my thoughts my phone starts ringing. I desperately plead that it isn’t my mum. I was shocked when I saw the caller I.D; ‘Sian’. I hesitated for a while but eventually accepted.
“Hello?” I said curiously as to why she was up at this time if she didn’t have college and was on holiday. “Hey Soph.” She replied quietly. I sighed. There was long silence before she spoke up. “I miss you.” She said. I smiled and this was the first time I have smiled for days. Over the past few days I have been holed up in my room with the curtains shut and chucking cheap cider down my neck. “I missed you too Sian. I’m sorry.” I replied. I could hear background noise and Sian’s voice get quieter. “I’ll be back in 4 days Soph.” She barely whispered but because of the emptiness of the bus I could just make out what she was saying. “I can’t wait.” I admitted and I knew she was smiling on the other end of the phone. “I...” She started saying something but she was interrupted by someone asking her if she was ready or something. I was confused. I didn’t recognise the voice. I heard her covering the phone up and muffled voices. She then came back on the phone and quickly blurted out. “I got to go.” My heart sank. This was our first conversation without an argument in days and she wanted to end it so soon? All I wanted to do was talk to her before facing hell. “Who was that?” I asked suspiciously. “Erm...it’s...Yusuf.” She hesitantly replied. Before I could reply she butted in again. “I really need to go Soph I’m sorry I’ll ring you later?” She asked. “I love you Sian” I replied. She quickly muttered “Yeah same.” And then she hung up. I was gutted. I mean she couldn’t even say it back. Even if she was in a rush to be somewhere she could of spared five seconds to tell her girlfriend she loved her. But that was the thing? Did she really love me or was it more of a friendly love and she just got carried away? The questions were buzzing around my head but they only stopped when the bus pulled up at my stop. I walked off slowly and made my way into college. Let the war begin.
As I walked down the corridor to my tutor room I knew people were sniggering and whispering. It got to me because I was the only one who noticed it. One day I was going to lose my temper with them and just lash out. My life is a mess and sometimes I feel as if things would be easier if I wasn’t here. “Sophie?” I clench my eyes shut and freeze as I hear someone call my name. I can sense them getting closer and I wearily turn around. I was secretly hoping it was Sian and she had come back early to surprise me but no it was the head. What did Sian say his name was? Oh shit I forgot. Oh well. “Yes?” I said. My voice had suddenly turned all quiet and angelic. I don’t know what it was but his reassuring smile made me actually feel safe at college. “Would you like to come to my office? We need to talk about your place here.” He said and gestured towards the stairs. I nodded mutely and trudged after him towards his office. What did he mean by my place here? Loads of thoughts whizzed through my mind but stopped when he shut his office door and sat opposite me behind his desk. “Is it true you have been having problems Sophie?” He asked softly and I nodded. “Would you like to explain?” He asked while playing with his computer keyboard. I gulped. Shit he was onto me.
It had been half an hour since I had started talking to him. I had told him everything. I mean everything. I don’t know where it came from but once I started I couldn’t stop. I started with the abuse from other pupils then I reluctantly moved onto the subject of the tram crash and my dad’s affair. He just listened to me and I think that is what I had wanted. I briefly mentioned Sian and the New Year’s Eve incident and then explained how my house was like a war zone. He was supportive of me and I actually thought he understood. Then came the bombshell. “I know it may have been a tough time for you Sophie but I don’t think this college is for you. Therefore with regret I am going to have to expel you permanently.” He briefly smiled but it didn’t help. I know I didn’t like college but I wanted to get the qualifications otherwise I would end up working at the factory or behind the bar at the bloody Rovers. Whereas Sian would be off doing something successful. I didn’t want to be a lowlife. He sat waiting for my answer. “Please.” Was all I could croak out. I had tears in my eyes. My life was falling apart. This was one of the final blows for me. Sian would be disappointed and so would my mum and dad. I couldn’t face them. I had to try and fix this. “I’m sorry. It is impossible for you to catch up now.” He then turned towards his computer. “Sir, I really need this please. One more chance.” I pleaded with him. If he kicked me out I would fall deeper into depression. I realised how stupid I had been by bunking off. I mean this was my future. Sian really did care didn’t she? She only wanted me to do well. I instantly felt guilt. “I’m sorry it is too late.” He said. That was it. I lost it.
The bullying, tram crash, my dad, Jack, Molly, my mum, Sian and then college. It all got too much and I lashed out. I swung my arm across his desk and smashed his coffee cup on the floor. He just sat there shocked while I was breathing heavily. I stood up. “YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS! FUCK EVERYONE! I’M USELESS AREN’T I?” I shouted. “Sophie calm down.” He stated but still stayed sitting there. “CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? HOW CAN I FUCKING CALM DOWN? DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS? DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO TURN INTO A DEPRESSED ALCOHOLIC TEENAGER? NO! I’VE LOST EVERYTHING I USED TO HAVE AND NOW I’VE LOST MY FUTURE. WELL THANKS!” I shouted before walking out of his office and slamming the door. I didn’t expect that to happen but in some ways I was glad. I could finally let out my anger but now the tears were threatening to fall and I didn’t know if I had the strength to stop them. As I walked back to my house I felt numb. I felt like a ghost walking through Weatherfield and that no one could see me. I rounded the corner but noticed my mum outside the pub. I hid behind the tree until she went in with the factory girls. I slumped down on the bench outside the medical centre. I traced my fingers across the wooden seat and remembered all the memories I had here with Sian, Rosie, Ben and even Ryan. I slowly brought my knees up to my chest and finally let the tears flow. I couldn’t stop them now. I had been holding them in for days and I think I needed them to fall. I didn’t care who saw me I just wanted to feel human and show my emotions for once instead of shutting them out and letting alcohol in. “Sophie?” A soft voice asked.
The next chapter will carry on from the same day and may involve Sian's P.OV
Hope you enjoyed it :D
PLEASE COMMENT ;)