This is my December
This is my time of the year. This is me pretending, things are all so clear.
So it's Valentine's Day week. When I was younger this time of year was my most hated... next to Christmas. Valentine's Day has always been a testament to how alone I've been. No body for me to attach my feelings to. No one to dote on. No one to do special things for. Nothing. So, I get salty, moody, and jealous. This is the time when I become the Valentine's day version of the Grinch.
Yet I've gotten older, and curiously... it's not a big deal. I mean, once you reach a certain age time passes by so quickly *anyway* I could just close my eyes and before I know it, the day is done. Yet this year... I'm not hating on Valentine's day. I'll still be alone but the spite is gone. I'm at a curious peace as it comes to being in a relationship. Ya I think it's stupid that most of the idiotic male gender gets to enjoy something that I don't, yet at least for right now... I'm okay. Saturday I'm gonna do something romantic for someone, I hope she appreciates it, yet if not... it's okay.
I guess the real reason why i used to hate the day, and I haven't talked about this to anyone... It was Valentine's day (I'm not sure which senior year of college it was) when I went out to this cabin in upstate Michigan. My cousin (pretty spry spunky one, a girl like m'self read: near insane) comes out to visit me without my knowledge. I'm really bumed cus I'm alone on v-day. We had this tradition that we were each other's Valentine when we had no one else. She comes out tries to get inside to surprise me, but everything's locked tight, I'd already gone into town cus a storm was coming. She gets it into her head to try to come down the chimney. Cus the temperature is dropping and the snow's burying everything. As she's coming down apparently she slips on some ice.
I come back a week later and I can't figure out what's causing this stench in the place. Eventually I realize it's coming from the chimney. I have someone come out and a crew works to try to get at the thing and pull whatever is stinking up the place, out. We find my cousin. She'd lost her hold cus of some ice and broken her neck as she was coming down.
That's the real reason I hate Valentine's day.
So it's Valentine's Day week. When I was younger this time of year was my most hated... next to Christmas. Valentine's Day has always been a testament to how alone I've been. No body for me to attach my feelings to. No one to dote on. No one to do special things for. Nothing. So, I get salty, moody, and jealous. This is the time when I become the Valentine's day version of the Grinch.
Yet I've gotten older, and curiously... it's not a big deal. I mean, once you reach a certain age time passes by so quickly *anyway* I could just close my eyes and before I know it, the day is done. Yet this year... I'm not hating on Valentine's day. I'll still be alone but the spite is gone. I'm at a curious peace as it comes to being in a relationship. Ya I think it's stupid that most of the idiotic male gender gets to enjoy something that I don't, yet at least for right now... I'm okay. Saturday I'm gonna do something romantic for someone, I hope she appreciates it, yet if not... it's okay.
I guess the real reason why i used to hate the day, and I haven't talked about this to anyone... It was Valentine's day (I'm not sure which senior year of college it was) when I went out to this cabin in upstate Michigan. My cousin (pretty spry spunky one, a girl like m'self read: near insane) comes out to visit me without my knowledge. I'm really bumed cus I'm alone on v-day. We had this tradition that we were each other's Valentine when we had no one else. She comes out tries to get inside to surprise me, but everything's locked tight, I'd already gone into town cus a storm was coming. She gets it into her head to try to come down the chimney. Cus the temperature is dropping and the snow's burying everything. As she's coming down apparently she slips on some ice.
I come back a week later and I can't figure out what's causing this stench in the place. Eventually I realize it's coming from the chimney. I have someone come out and a crew works to try to get at the thing and pull whatever is stinking up the place, out. We find my cousin. She'd lost her hold cus of some ice and broken her neck as she was coming down.
That's the real reason I hate Valentine's day.