Roleplay... drama? Troubles? Misunderstandings? Not sure... Have some history to.
Just to get some background here, let's take a walk down memory lane and my roleplay history...
I started out my career, if you want to call it that, with roleplaying online by playing Drusilla from Buffy the vampire slayer (macabreprincess). I was apparently good at it, and got a reward for it way back when such things were still a thing in fandoms. :-) I've played her in 12 different games over the years... Four of them were one-on-one games, where I played with just one person. :-) The other 8 were big games with plenty other players, some of them even multifandom games!
All of them died. Either over drama, over lack of action (people didn't post at all) or players who couldn't agree on where to take the storyline.
I stayed and played for many many years in the Buffy-fandom. In it I've played Xander Harris (clumsygentleman), Faith LeHane (kickass_slayer) and even the secondary character and bad guy Professor Maggie Walsh (profwalsh)!
There were a lot of games in the Buffy fandom. A very active roleplay community. But, not so much anymore. It hasn't died, by all means! If I wanted to, I am sure I could find a player to play a one-on-one with! Or join a multifandom game of course! Plenty of those around!
But those big epic Buffy games...? Hard to come by, if they even exist at all...
After the Buffy fandom I slided on a banana-peel into the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom... It just happened! *lol* And of course I ended up roleplaying there to. It seems to be a thing for me. :-)
I feel head over heels for Turner Senior and Junior. ;-) That is, Bootstrap Bill (billbootstrap) and Will Turner (dutchmancpt).
So I joined some big games playing Bootstrap Bill. He was the first character I played from this fandom. I got a lot of cred for him to! Awesome! And back then there were PLENTY big games, especially who explored what happened after At Worlds End... And it was awesome exploring what might happen on The Flying Dutchman! Lots of angst of course when I played Bootstrap Bill in those games. ;-) WAS FUN! And I miss playing him dreadfully...
But... as with all other games, all them games died out. Over drama, lack of action or players who couldn't agree... History repeats itself.
I picked up Will Turner and have played him quite successfully as the cursed Captain of the Flying Dutchman for quite a few multifandom games, but they to died out for the same reasons... And now with the new Pirates movie? (That I frankly think sucks...) Well, there will be no more cursed Captain Turner. :-/ Sadly. I ADORED playing him. *pets him*
In the Pirates fandom I also picked up Jacob Pintel (jacobpintel) and Mistress Ching (MistressChing on Insane Journal).
I had a lot of fun playing in this fandom, but alas... There is no games around purely Pirates anymore. I suspect it has to do with the fourth movie... My speculations.
During all this time, I also picked up random characters that... "spoke to me" for lack of a better way to say it, from movies and TV-shows. :-) All to play in multifandom games. I picked up Danny the Dog (thedogdanny) from the movie Unleashed, and had a BALL playing him! Also, I picked up Bugsy Malone (malonebugsy) from the movie with the same name, who was equally fun to play! I even tried out Joxer (mightyjoxer) from Xena, but he was a bit harder to fit in in any games... To bad, I kinda love that stumbling fool. :-D
None of these characters are played anymore either, because... Yep, you guessed it. All them games died out. Lack of action, drama and/or players who couldn't agree.
And... Then I ended up in the Tokio Hotel fandom. Hey, real people! Can't play that, right?
Wrong.
I ended up playing both G's, Georg (georghobbit) and Gustav (silentgustav), in various games. And I soon discovered that playing RL people is a bit different... You are NOT allowed into ANY multifandom games, so you are left with playing either some really really weird games on forums or Tumblr or you end up in one-on-ones.
So I ended up playing one-on-one games with ma boys. One after another. Either I was just abounded. My RP-partner just... not answering me or disappearing totally. Or we didn't agree and just decided to leave the game. Or we ended up playing them into a corner and not knowing what to do with them, and just gave up. It happens all the time, as you can see above from my adventures in all them other fandoms.
I especially ended up playing game after game with the same RP-partner. Some awesome storylines to! But she got bored quickly back then, and just... didn't want to continue the ones we had, after we'd played the long one we had into a corner... so we kept re-starting. Game after game after game... I didn't mind though. :-) Better have an excited partner to play with then none at all. :-)
But after a while, I had NO ONE to play with! In any fandom! That won't do... And since I have a friend who was curious at it, we tried it out she and I. And after some misshaps, we started playing a game, a story-line, that got REALLY interesting, REALLY fast! :-D
And here comes the part where there are... drama? Troubles? Misunderstandings? I have NO idea! And need help understanding this, because... frankly, I don't know what happend and if I did something wrong and how and... well. Lost.
Anyway. The game was fun, we played it very intensely nearly ever night. Gang-game to! So, very AU. :-) I play Georg being a trusted member of a gang, high in the hierarchy. She plays Tom, very young poor kid with a less then good home-life and a twin that he wants to protect. So, it has big age-difference, which I love. A little darkness (not to much), which I love. And gang-setting, which I also love. :-) And some SERIOUS UST between Georg and Tom, which I definitely love! :-D
And that was pretty much the reason we started the game, the main theme in the game. To have some serious UST and sexings between Tom and Georg, most likely involving a collar and leash and some ropes...
So that is how I play Georg. He wants NOTHING but to get down Tom's pants. He is drawn to Tom, anyway you can imagine. And is devolving feelings for Tom to.
Of course, the world we've created and the secondary characters are pretty damn cool to, but that is the main focus, for me.
Then I find out my RP-partner wants no sex. At least not writing it.
Wait, what?
And let's see if I remember right, she wants the sex but not write it. Instead she suggested we write up to the sex... do a time-jump (that is usually used when nothing really happens in a game), and then let the characters reflect on it afterwards.
Uhu... I have... trouble seeing how to play that, and I said as much...
But at the same time, I don't want to force ANYONE to write or play or read any sex. It is JUST not cool. Not in my book.
It was, however, the only solution she had. Or just to skip it totally... Which would be weird, since the game is so so focused on the UST and future relationship between Georg and Tom.
I ended up saying we should take a break in the game, or just freeze it and not play it. For good? Or for a while? *shrug* Don't matter. This has happened before, after all, so... I wouldn't mind starting over with just another game, them being friends instead maybe, ergo no sex.
But nope. To much work and effort put into the game, she feels. And I...? Don't feel it is such a big deal to turn your back on a game and just start over with another... I've done it plenty times before and will most likely do it plenty times again.
That wasn't popular, apparently. And now I fear I've lost a friend.
I don't know... What did I do wrong? I am very unsure here... Was it wrong of me to want to freeze the game? To take a step back since we couldn't agree?
Oh, and she wants to put it out on fanfiction sites, turning it into a fanfic, which scares me shitless. I have some serious issues with my writing. I CAN'T write! It stinks. And if I publish anything at all, I do it here. Because this is my home. But spreading it all over? It scares me shitless. I almost panic at the thought alone. I can't explain why, but I do. And if you publish a RP, 50% (sorta) will be my words, my characterisation. And that really really scares me.
And she said fine, not going to turn into a fic. Thank heavens. So so grateful for that. *phew*
So still, my question stands. What did I do wrong? I got my way with not turning it into a fic. Should I go along with the time-skip-the-sex-thing then, even if I just can't see it working?
I don't know... I just... Feel really really damn lost and not sure what to do... I don't want to lose a good friend, I really don't. And I don't know how else to explain or... anything.
Help? Some advice needed? Or just a thought? Anything?
This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
I started out my career, if you want to call it that, with roleplaying online by playing Drusilla from Buffy the vampire slayer (macabreprincess). I was apparently good at it, and got a reward for it way back when such things were still a thing in fandoms. :-) I've played her in 12 different games over the years... Four of them were one-on-one games, where I played with just one person. :-) The other 8 were big games with plenty other players, some of them even multifandom games!
All of them died. Either over drama, over lack of action (people didn't post at all) or players who couldn't agree on where to take the storyline.
I stayed and played for many many years in the Buffy-fandom. In it I've played Xander Harris (clumsygentleman), Faith LeHane (kickass_slayer) and even the secondary character and bad guy Professor Maggie Walsh (profwalsh)!
There were a lot of games in the Buffy fandom. A very active roleplay community. But, not so much anymore. It hasn't died, by all means! If I wanted to, I am sure I could find a player to play a one-on-one with! Or join a multifandom game of course! Plenty of those around!
But those big epic Buffy games...? Hard to come by, if they even exist at all...
After the Buffy fandom I slided on a banana-peel into the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom... It just happened! *lol* And of course I ended up roleplaying there to. It seems to be a thing for me. :-)
I feel head over heels for Turner Senior and Junior. ;-) That is, Bootstrap Bill (billbootstrap) and Will Turner (dutchmancpt).
So I joined some big games playing Bootstrap Bill. He was the first character I played from this fandom. I got a lot of cred for him to! Awesome! And back then there were PLENTY big games, especially who explored what happened after At Worlds End... And it was awesome exploring what might happen on The Flying Dutchman! Lots of angst of course when I played Bootstrap Bill in those games. ;-) WAS FUN! And I miss playing him dreadfully...
But... as with all other games, all them games died out. Over drama, lack of action or players who couldn't agree... History repeats itself.
I picked up Will Turner and have played him quite successfully as the cursed Captain of the Flying Dutchman for quite a few multifandom games, but they to died out for the same reasons... And now with the new Pirates movie? (That I frankly think sucks...) Well, there will be no more cursed Captain Turner. :-/ Sadly. I ADORED playing him. *pets him*
In the Pirates fandom I also picked up Jacob Pintel (jacobpintel) and Mistress Ching (MistressChing on Insane Journal).
I had a lot of fun playing in this fandom, but alas... There is no games around purely Pirates anymore. I suspect it has to do with the fourth movie... My speculations.
During all this time, I also picked up random characters that... "spoke to me" for lack of a better way to say it, from movies and TV-shows. :-) All to play in multifandom games. I picked up Danny the Dog (thedogdanny) from the movie Unleashed, and had a BALL playing him! Also, I picked up Bugsy Malone (malonebugsy) from the movie with the same name, who was equally fun to play! I even tried out Joxer (mightyjoxer) from Xena, but he was a bit harder to fit in in any games... To bad, I kinda love that stumbling fool. :-D
None of these characters are played anymore either, because... Yep, you guessed it. All them games died out. Lack of action, drama and/or players who couldn't agree.
And... Then I ended up in the Tokio Hotel fandom. Hey, real people! Can't play that, right?
Wrong.
I ended up playing both G's, Georg (georghobbit) and Gustav (silentgustav), in various games. And I soon discovered that playing RL people is a bit different... You are NOT allowed into ANY multifandom games, so you are left with playing either some really really weird games on forums or Tumblr or you end up in one-on-ones.
So I ended up playing one-on-one games with ma boys. One after another. Either I was just abounded. My RP-partner just... not answering me or disappearing totally. Or we didn't agree and just decided to leave the game. Or we ended up playing them into a corner and not knowing what to do with them, and just gave up. It happens all the time, as you can see above from my adventures in all them other fandoms.
I especially ended up playing game after game with the same RP-partner. Some awesome storylines to! But she got bored quickly back then, and just... didn't want to continue the ones we had, after we'd played the long one we had into a corner... so we kept re-starting. Game after game after game... I didn't mind though. :-) Better have an excited partner to play with then none at all. :-)
But after a while, I had NO ONE to play with! In any fandom! That won't do... And since I have a friend who was curious at it, we tried it out she and I. And after some misshaps, we started playing a game, a story-line, that got REALLY interesting, REALLY fast! :-D
And here comes the part where there are... drama? Troubles? Misunderstandings? I have NO idea! And need help understanding this, because... frankly, I don't know what happend and if I did something wrong and how and... well. Lost.
Anyway. The game was fun, we played it very intensely nearly ever night. Gang-game to! So, very AU. :-) I play Georg being a trusted member of a gang, high in the hierarchy. She plays Tom, very young poor kid with a less then good home-life and a twin that he wants to protect. So, it has big age-difference, which I love. A little darkness (not to much), which I love. And gang-setting, which I also love. :-) And some SERIOUS UST between Georg and Tom, which I definitely love! :-D
And that was pretty much the reason we started the game, the main theme in the game. To have some serious UST and sexings between Tom and Georg, most likely involving a collar and leash and some ropes...
So that is how I play Georg. He wants NOTHING but to get down Tom's pants. He is drawn to Tom, anyway you can imagine. And is devolving feelings for Tom to.
Of course, the world we've created and the secondary characters are pretty damn cool to, but that is the main focus, for me.
Then I find out my RP-partner wants no sex. At least not writing it.
Wait, what?
And let's see if I remember right, she wants the sex but not write it. Instead she suggested we write up to the sex... do a time-jump (that is usually used when nothing really happens in a game), and then let the characters reflect on it afterwards.
Uhu... I have... trouble seeing how to play that, and I said as much...
But at the same time, I don't want to force ANYONE to write or play or read any sex. It is JUST not cool. Not in my book.
It was, however, the only solution she had. Or just to skip it totally... Which would be weird, since the game is so so focused on the UST and future relationship between Georg and Tom.
I ended up saying we should take a break in the game, or just freeze it and not play it. For good? Or for a while? *shrug* Don't matter. This has happened before, after all, so... I wouldn't mind starting over with just another game, them being friends instead maybe, ergo no sex.
But nope. To much work and effort put into the game, she feels. And I...? Don't feel it is such a big deal to turn your back on a game and just start over with another... I've done it plenty times before and will most likely do it plenty times again.
That wasn't popular, apparently. And now I fear I've lost a friend.
I don't know... What did I do wrong? I am very unsure here... Was it wrong of me to want to freeze the game? To take a step back since we couldn't agree?
Oh, and she wants to put it out on fanfiction sites, turning it into a fanfic, which scares me shitless. I have some serious issues with my writing. I CAN'T write! It stinks. And if I publish anything at all, I do it here. Because this is my home. But spreading it all over? It scares me shitless. I almost panic at the thought alone. I can't explain why, but I do. And if you publish a RP, 50% (sorta) will be my words, my characterisation. And that really really scares me.
And she said fine, not going to turn into a fic. Thank heavens. So so grateful for that. *phew*
So still, my question stands. What did I do wrong? I got my way with not turning it into a fic. Should I go along with the time-skip-the-sex-thing then, even if I just can't see it working?
I don't know... I just... Feel really really damn lost and not sure what to do... I don't want to lose a good friend, I really don't. And I don't know how else to explain or... anything.
Help? Some advice needed? Or just a thought? Anything?
This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.