Teenage Wasteland
The combination of dialup, a computer with an almost-full hard drive (or whatever the problem is), and Firefox was making me want to rip my hair out. I'm posting this update via the AOL browser which I hate, simply because I couldn't sit there and wait for shit to load.
Anyway, to the people who posted comments to my entry about car shopping: thanks. I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I did read them, and I do plan to respond, I'm just... struggling with wrapping my head around such a big step that I've been waiting so long for that is finally coming to fruition. Yikes. A car means car payments, means needing a job, means growing up.
I've been feeling rather teenagerish lately, and not just because of my still acne-ridden face. (It's been a bit better now that I've established something like a daily routine for facial care and have actually been sticking to it... actually I've been noticing that a LOT of the red on my face looks to not be pimples at all, maybe it's just scars or whatever. NOW what the fuck product do I use for this shit? Ugh. I hate my skin.) I've taken to hanging out in my room a lot lately with the Christmas lights on, just chilling and listening to music. That was very me-during-high-school. I think a lot of it's because my mom's been around here constantly since breaking things off with Steve. I no longer have solitude and late-night access to the awesome stereo in the dining room, haha. And, like, I don't know... I generally feel very young and very in need of guidance and growth and very much lacking confidence in myself. I don't know how to articulate it any better than that right now, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. Wanting to grow up, feeling guilty about growing up, feeling like I'm not ready for it, not really... *sigh* It's pretty frustrating.
My nocturnal schedule certainly doesn't help matters, heh.
Well, I'd best get to bed. Maybe I can wake up by noon and actually have some daylight hours to play with. I was thinking earlier, what with the time change for the fall approaching, the sun will be setting by 5pm eventually. That's usually when I'm just rolling out of bed and getting into the shower. Ha. I'm going to turn into one of those transluscent albino creatures that live at the bottom of the ocean, and are thusly colored because they never get any sunlight.
I'M NOT READY FOR IT TO BE WINTER YET, GUYS.
Anyway, to the people who posted comments to my entry about car shopping: thanks. I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I did read them, and I do plan to respond, I'm just... struggling with wrapping my head around such a big step that I've been waiting so long for that is finally coming to fruition. Yikes. A car means car payments, means needing a job, means growing up.
I've been feeling rather teenagerish lately, and not just because of my still acne-ridden face. (It's been a bit better now that I've established something like a daily routine for facial care and have actually been sticking to it... actually I've been noticing that a LOT of the red on my face looks to not be pimples at all, maybe it's just scars or whatever. NOW what the fuck product do I use for this shit? Ugh. I hate my skin.) I've taken to hanging out in my room a lot lately with the Christmas lights on, just chilling and listening to music. That was very me-during-high-school. I think a lot of it's because my mom's been around here constantly since breaking things off with Steve. I no longer have solitude and late-night access to the awesome stereo in the dining room, haha. And, like, I don't know... I generally feel very young and very in need of guidance and growth and very much lacking confidence in myself. I don't know how to articulate it any better than that right now, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. Wanting to grow up, feeling guilty about growing up, feeling like I'm not ready for it, not really... *sigh* It's pretty frustrating.
My nocturnal schedule certainly doesn't help matters, heh.
Well, I'd best get to bed. Maybe I can wake up by noon and actually have some daylight hours to play with. I was thinking earlier, what with the time change for the fall approaching, the sun will be setting by 5pm eventually. That's usually when I'm just rolling out of bed and getting into the shower. Ha. I'm going to turn into one of those transluscent albino creatures that live at the bottom of the ocean, and are thusly colored because they never get any sunlight.
I'M NOT READY FOR IT TO BE WINTER YET, GUYS.