First fanfic
Fanfic for the movie 'Yuva' by Mani Ratnam. I started this a while back, just didn't have the courage to post it...
Title: Reconciliation
Rating: PG-13+...may change later on
Disclaimer: I own no part of Mani Ratnam's master piece. Just a humble girl from Aus who got inspired by one awesome film :o)
Pairings: Sasi/Lallan
Summary: It takes off from the end of the film. Lallan and his journey to finding himself and his other half.
I realised I was one lucky bastard, Baghvan was on my side. I didn’t know why.
I deserted Sasi, my all.
I killed a man, hurt too many people and yet today I stood waiting outside the Judge’s chambers with two guards flanking either rear.
I was waiting to be put on the stand, say my piece and leave jail. It wasn’t my wish to be here, I knew I deserved the maximum sentence, no doubt who that was thanks to, but the man responsible for me being in this position to be free was all due to Michael.
And that’s what bothered me the most, why did he do it? I almost killed him and yet today here he is advocating for my release. He came to see him once every week since I was jailed, at first I was furious. Michael was the reason why I was in jail.
As the weeks passed, Michael kept coming, each week with news about what was happening in the outside world. Eventually I started talking back, had some arguments and talked about the idiot politicians, women which was a favourite topic but at the same time shameful. As I watched him talk about his partner, it dawned on me, I didn’t treat Sasi as my equal, she was my love but she wasn’t my partner, I remember feeling inferior to her. She always knew right from wrong and she didn’t waver in her decision, but me? I was a corrupt person and even a little now, but she…
She knew and she was always had hope for me, she always knew we were each others equal, she never looked down on me, she just wanted to pull me up to her height of decency.
I think somewhere above me Baghvan knew all I wanted was a fifth or sixth chance to prove myself. I had the potential to turn my life around with Sasi but instead I didn’t listen and chose the easy way out.
Today, I’m glad Michael and I crossed paths, Baghvan did bring him to me, my lucky seventh chance!
Michael managed, I don’t know how, to get on me on parole and he took me with him to see what he was involved in, irrigation systems in the rural areas, youth club for youngsters to meet and talk about anything and talking to families who contacted him to seek for help.
Eventually, I joined him in assisting with things here and there to the point where I met Mr.Evil himself Prosonjit Bhatacharya as we assisted a family move into their new home. He was driving by and stopped, seeing me park the truck in front of the house, sat in the car, mouth open in shock.
I watched as he stepped out of his car, shocked and confused. His wife and children in the back, surprised at his actions.
I only realised it was him, as I turned to head back into the house. My brows furrowed in anger, not sure what to do with my hands, I tightened my grip on the chairs I was holding.
I felt Michael's hand on my shoulder stopping me, I knew I needed to find a way to calm down, so I shut my lips, promising myself I would, even if it hurt.
'Bhai saab, what are you doing this side of town?' Michael jokingly asks.
He looks back and forth between Michael and I, then finally settles on Michael.
Suddenly splitting into a grin, replies, 'Taking my family to the beach for a picnic. What are you doing here? With this fellow, who tried killing you Michael beta?'
Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
'This man? Oh no, he isn't the one attempted to murder me, he was hired. Anyway, Lallan is a changed man. He's supportive, loyal and a great friend. You have people like that surrounding you, don't you bhai saab?'
I waited and watched closely as his expression changed from content to fear as Michael spoke these words. He tried smiling, didn't quite make it.
'Well good day to you boyds, I'll see you in parliament.'
'Enjoy your day bhai saab.' Michael waved. Yup, he's lost it!
As soon as the car sped off Michael turned to me with joyous delight.
'Did you see his face? That was a kodak moment! Lallan, why are you still upset? The past is the past, let it go!'
'You may be able to let it go, but I can't. You should've allowed me to wipe that smile off his face, he doesn't deserve to be happy. I lost Sasi because of him.'
Michael shook his head as if I had completely misunderstood what happened.
'You lost Sasi because of your choices, he wasn't the cause of it, not entirely anyway.
He offered the chance to get rich quickly you took it instead of choosing Sasi. You need to acknowledge that you are the only person who can change any situation, no one else can do that for you.'
'If you want to change your situation, right now, I'll help you. We'll find Sasi, together. Him? The only way to strip his powers and his voice is in parliament, not here where he has influences.'
I finally loosened my grip on the chairs. Bhagvan! Its been so long since I've seen my Sasi.
I set the chairs down and looked at Michael.
'I need your help, I want to find Sasi and change everything. She is all I have in this world.'
Michael smiled knowingly.
'Okay, first, let's finish this task, go to lunch and we'll talk.'
I felt a small burst of hope renewed in me and for the time being, it was enough.
We eventually decided on 14 places where she could be. 10 down, none successful.
4 more to go.
One was a teacher, one was a kitchen hand, another was a farmer and the final one was a police officer.
I thought her being a police officer was impossible, but after everything I put her though, I wouldn't be surprised if she was.
Teacher, not enough qualifications. Farmer, needs money but she could be working on the farm as a help. Kitchen hand was the most likely. Michael and I after a two day trip headed towards Pollachi, down in the south near Kerala.
We drove for the last two day around Bengal and near Mumbai. I didn't want to drag Michael into this, but he wouldn't hear a word of it. I needed help and he stood by me.
I'm grateful for his company, it helps when I miss Sasi. I don't know what's gotten into me, but now more than ever, I'm determined to find Sasi. I don't think I ever noticed how much I depended on her. She is my strength, my weakness, the one who I want to wake with.
This time last year, I was sitting in the passenger seat, asking my friend (on the way to shooting Michael) whether or not I should leave Sasi, now sitting here, I'm wondering what on earth I was thinking.
And for what? A lying politician who didn't care about the welfare of others.
I lost Sasi the moment I confronted Ram, I should have left the gun at his house and met Sasi at the station.
What I regret the most was not seeing Sasi one last time, not apologising, not telling her what she means to me.
Michael brakes and turns the engine off, I snap out of my reverie, only to realise we had arrived.
As I take each step, its with anticipation but also with mind-numbing fear at how disappointed she would be with me.
We walk into the restaurant and I feel nothing, she's not here.
Michael goes to reception and asks to speak to the manager, if possible. The guy frowns, worried that something bad has happened. Michael reassures him that it's not the case. He gets the manager but something in my gut tells me its no use.
Michael approaches the manager, explains and the manager shakes his head. Michael then requests to see the staff, we head to the kitchen, still nothing, I can't feel her. We check at the seating area, none of the staff are close to resembling her.
I ask the manager if he would mind if we came back in the evening.
'Sir, if she's in trouble, you can tell me. I'll try and help you, if I can.'
'No, sir it's not like that. I'm searching for my wife, she's missing.'
'Ok, if you wish to come back in the evening, you're more than welcome! But I can't promise you anything.'
As the sunsets, we head back to the restaurant. We wave to the manager and check the staff once more out in the seating are and in the kitchen, still nothing.
As we leave Pollachi, I can't help but think to myself, how many more misses can I take?
I feel Michael's eyes fixed on me, I can't look at him. I don't want his sympathy.
'Lallan, we have 3 more to go, we'll find her. Don't give up, I can feel it, we're close.
You need to trust your instinct. Now, wake me at our next stop, we'll eat, ask around and head off.'
tbc
Title: Reconciliation
Rating: PG-13+...may change later on
Disclaimer: I own no part of Mani Ratnam's master piece. Just a humble girl from Aus who got inspired by one awesome film :o)
Pairings: Sasi/Lallan
Summary: It takes off from the end of the film. Lallan and his journey to finding himself and his other half.
I realised I was one lucky bastard, Baghvan was on my side. I didn’t know why.
I deserted Sasi, my all.
I killed a man, hurt too many people and yet today I stood waiting outside the Judge’s chambers with two guards flanking either rear.
I was waiting to be put on the stand, say my piece and leave jail. It wasn’t my wish to be here, I knew I deserved the maximum sentence, no doubt who that was thanks to, but the man responsible for me being in this position to be free was all due to Michael.
And that’s what bothered me the most, why did he do it? I almost killed him and yet today here he is advocating for my release. He came to see him once every week since I was jailed, at first I was furious. Michael was the reason why I was in jail.
As the weeks passed, Michael kept coming, each week with news about what was happening in the outside world. Eventually I started talking back, had some arguments and talked about the idiot politicians, women which was a favourite topic but at the same time shameful. As I watched him talk about his partner, it dawned on me, I didn’t treat Sasi as my equal, she was my love but she wasn’t my partner, I remember feeling inferior to her. She always knew right from wrong and she didn’t waver in her decision, but me? I was a corrupt person and even a little now, but she…
She knew and she was always had hope for me, she always knew we were each others equal, she never looked down on me, she just wanted to pull me up to her height of decency.
I think somewhere above me Baghvan knew all I wanted was a fifth or sixth chance to prove myself. I had the potential to turn my life around with Sasi but instead I didn’t listen and chose the easy way out.
Today, I’m glad Michael and I crossed paths, Baghvan did bring him to me, my lucky seventh chance!
Michael managed, I don’t know how, to get on me on parole and he took me with him to see what he was involved in, irrigation systems in the rural areas, youth club for youngsters to meet and talk about anything and talking to families who contacted him to seek for help.
Eventually, I joined him in assisting with things here and there to the point where I met Mr.Evil himself Prosonjit Bhatacharya as we assisted a family move into their new home. He was driving by and stopped, seeing me park the truck in front of the house, sat in the car, mouth open in shock.
I watched as he stepped out of his car, shocked and confused. His wife and children in the back, surprised at his actions.
I only realised it was him, as I turned to head back into the house. My brows furrowed in anger, not sure what to do with my hands, I tightened my grip on the chairs I was holding.
I felt Michael's hand on my shoulder stopping me, I knew I needed to find a way to calm down, so I shut my lips, promising myself I would, even if it hurt.
'Bhai saab, what are you doing this side of town?' Michael jokingly asks.
He looks back and forth between Michael and I, then finally settles on Michael.
Suddenly splitting into a grin, replies, 'Taking my family to the beach for a picnic. What are you doing here? With this fellow, who tried killing you Michael beta?'
Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
'This man? Oh no, he isn't the one attempted to murder me, he was hired. Anyway, Lallan is a changed man. He's supportive, loyal and a great friend. You have people like that surrounding you, don't you bhai saab?'
I waited and watched closely as his expression changed from content to fear as Michael spoke these words. He tried smiling, didn't quite make it.
'Well good day to you boyds, I'll see you in parliament.'
'Enjoy your day bhai saab.' Michael waved. Yup, he's lost it!
As soon as the car sped off Michael turned to me with joyous delight.
'Did you see his face? That was a kodak moment! Lallan, why are you still upset? The past is the past, let it go!'
'You may be able to let it go, but I can't. You should've allowed me to wipe that smile off his face, he doesn't deserve to be happy. I lost Sasi because of him.'
Michael shook his head as if I had completely misunderstood what happened.
'You lost Sasi because of your choices, he wasn't the cause of it, not entirely anyway.
He offered the chance to get rich quickly you took it instead of choosing Sasi. You need to acknowledge that you are the only person who can change any situation, no one else can do that for you.'
'If you want to change your situation, right now, I'll help you. We'll find Sasi, together. Him? The only way to strip his powers and his voice is in parliament, not here where he has influences.'
I finally loosened my grip on the chairs. Bhagvan! Its been so long since I've seen my Sasi.
I set the chairs down and looked at Michael.
'I need your help, I want to find Sasi and change everything. She is all I have in this world.'
Michael smiled knowingly.
'Okay, first, let's finish this task, go to lunch and we'll talk.'
I felt a small burst of hope renewed in me and for the time being, it was enough.
We eventually decided on 14 places where she could be. 10 down, none successful.
4 more to go.
One was a teacher, one was a kitchen hand, another was a farmer and the final one was a police officer.
I thought her being a police officer was impossible, but after everything I put her though, I wouldn't be surprised if she was.
Teacher, not enough qualifications. Farmer, needs money but she could be working on the farm as a help. Kitchen hand was the most likely. Michael and I after a two day trip headed towards Pollachi, down in the south near Kerala.
We drove for the last two day around Bengal and near Mumbai. I didn't want to drag Michael into this, but he wouldn't hear a word of it. I needed help and he stood by me.
I'm grateful for his company, it helps when I miss Sasi. I don't know what's gotten into me, but now more than ever, I'm determined to find Sasi. I don't think I ever noticed how much I depended on her. She is my strength, my weakness, the one who I want to wake with.
This time last year, I was sitting in the passenger seat, asking my friend (on the way to shooting Michael) whether or not I should leave Sasi, now sitting here, I'm wondering what on earth I was thinking.
And for what? A lying politician who didn't care about the welfare of others.
I lost Sasi the moment I confronted Ram, I should have left the gun at his house and met Sasi at the station.
What I regret the most was not seeing Sasi one last time, not apologising, not telling her what she means to me.
Michael brakes and turns the engine off, I snap out of my reverie, only to realise we had arrived.
As I take each step, its with anticipation but also with mind-numbing fear at how disappointed she would be with me.
We walk into the restaurant and I feel nothing, she's not here.
Michael goes to reception and asks to speak to the manager, if possible. The guy frowns, worried that something bad has happened. Michael reassures him that it's not the case. He gets the manager but something in my gut tells me its no use.
Michael approaches the manager, explains and the manager shakes his head. Michael then requests to see the staff, we head to the kitchen, still nothing, I can't feel her. We check at the seating area, none of the staff are close to resembling her.
I ask the manager if he would mind if we came back in the evening.
'Sir, if she's in trouble, you can tell me. I'll try and help you, if I can.'
'No, sir it's not like that. I'm searching for my wife, she's missing.'
'Ok, if you wish to come back in the evening, you're more than welcome! But I can't promise you anything.'
As the sunsets, we head back to the restaurant. We wave to the manager and check the staff once more out in the seating are and in the kitchen, still nothing.
As we leave Pollachi, I can't help but think to myself, how many more misses can I take?
I feel Michael's eyes fixed on me, I can't look at him. I don't want his sympathy.
'Lallan, we have 3 more to go, we'll find her. Don't give up, I can feel it, we're close.
You need to trust your instinct. Now, wake me at our next stop, we'll eat, ask around and head off.'
tbc