(no subject)
I've been online for probably over a half hour now, but when I first sat down, I had just gotten back from seeing the Chronicles of Narnia at the movie theatre.
I really enjoyed it; it was very fulfilling. The kind of movie that kind of lingers on even after its over. Anyway, I recommend seeing it. The allegory was pretty blatant if you knew it was there.. I wonder if I would have caught it had I not been looking for it? Too bad I didn't read the books beforehand, too, but I think I might try and get on that soon.. maybe even over break. Weird too, how a figurative movie like this one can be so much more moving than others that are that's totally explicit. Maybe I should organize some kind of family outing; I'd definitely see it again.
Today was alright. Crazy blizzardish thing happened, we got about 5-6 inches of snow. I was up until 5:30ish last night though [slacking on a paper], and it was only barely snowing then. Surprising that when I woke up only 4-ish hours later there was so much. Surprising, too, that I was able to function at all today. I had woken up late anyway, actually, since I was supposed to help Father Dolan stuff mailboxes with flyers about some mariachi/our Lady of Guadalupe thing. I still had my music class despite the snow, but my Philosophy, er Logic, prof. didn't show up so we were only in class for like 15 minutes. I had time to practice a piano thingy for my practicum, and some flute. Yeah, I spent a lot of time on flute today. [My teacher's making me totally change my amobouchure (sp?)- impossible!] But then I had to rush back to my dorm and finish that paper. I hope I get an F on it so that I'll never slack off like that again. I can't go through life waiting to do things for the last minute, and half-assing them. I can do so much better.
I talked about that with my mentor maybe last week or so.. how when you kind of BS work you have no pride in it.. not very fulfilling. Honestly, I think I've been stressed out lately cause this whole semester hasn't been fulfilling. I've been barely getting by, and apparently, the "joy of learning lies in preparation," says Father Dolan. I freaked last night at mass (it was a holy day of obligation, like four students were there. pathetic. but whatever.) and started crying randomly, and Father was like.. okay, you want to talk? So we talked- about school, family- and he was like.. I can help you with spiritual stuff, but you should see a counselor. So I guess I'm going to do that.. later, I asked him, "So is it weird that I'll be seeing a counselor? Does it mean I'm really screwed up?" and he said, "Actually, it's like you're joining a really big club." Apparently, like 70% of the campus visits the counseling center. Haha. Crazy rich kids. J/k, I obviously have problems, too.
Change starts with you, was something he stressed, regarding the family issues. That's wise/ I hope I can do that. In general.
Bah, so I hope that helps. I sent out an application to Tutorial college earlier in the week, too. Hopefully I'll get in.. or actually, hopefully whatever's meant to happen will happen. Cause I'm not sure whether or not that's going to be good for me.. but if I actually do discipline myself next year and show interest, then I think the program would be really valuable. You live in the same (best!!) dorm with like 40ish, or 60ish kids and you're in this really liberal arts program that lasts all year, where you pretty much read 50 books about various topics and discuss them. I think something like that might make me a bit more all-around knowledgeable. Sometimes I just feel so damn clueless, you know? I want to know what the world's about! ...Poor, sheltered Krystyna. <--I'm joking; that exclamation makes me sound like a confused little kid. Anyway..
SoOo. There's that. I never wrote about stuff that happened weeks ago. Like weeks and weeks ago Brett and I went to the Polish Deli and made fun of weird food, but that was like still October. Like the third week of November, I guess, I went with Corazon to this Salsarengue party thing. It was fun for the most part. We got dressed up, and I refreshed my salsa skills. I danced with like.. 5 guys. And I don't think I even knew any of them very well; so weird. Awkward, actually.. stepping on people you're only vaguely acquainted with.. good for first impressions. [Ha.] All I have to say is the Spanish guys seem to have it in their blood, and so they know what they're doing. Me and the white boys need practice. But oh, it would be so wonderful to really know how to dance it! I feel like I say this so often, but watching the really GOOD couples is amazing. I love it, I really do. HAHA I remembered now how I loved the salsa band, too. They're so SPIRITED, and they have so much fun! I'd love to play with guys like them; gimme a trumpet, or a tambourine, or some CLAVES or ANYTHING. Alas, I am white.. and Polish.. and female. I just don't think it would work out! /sigh.
I just got sick. Or re-sick, since I was kind of sickish before Thanksgiving. I went to the health center.. some viral infection. Drink fluids, get sleep, yadda yadda. And I'm still online.
Uhh. So I saw that movie today after first having a dinner/X-mas party at Mark and Christi Reed's house. It was nice, we exchanged corny gifts. They're nice people.
What else? Oh my, we're having a Christmas Service called Lessons and Carols this Sunday. This opera singer named Christine Brewer is singing with us, too. We practiced with her yesterday and my God, it was beautiful. We're there singing Silent Night or something, and her voice just floats over the top of everything.. it immediately took me back to the beauty of midnight mass at Christmas, and I started to bawl. Well, not bawl per-se, but spazz out/tear.
I cried at the movie today, too. Actually, I cry pretty spontaneously. I wish I could take things less personally, and not feel down so often.
When it comes to art and stuff, I guess I don't mind being really emotional.. I guess it's a response I have when something really moves me. But honestly, I wish I could channel those emotions into something productive. No use crying over spilt milk, eh? Probably not much use crying in general.
There's going to be this Christian community service thing going on the week before clases start in January. I think I might come back early and do that, since I probably will be kind of sick of my famiyl by then. We'll be doing stuff with Habitat for Humanity, which should be cool. As should hanging out with cool people.
FINALS are NEXT WEEK. My first is music practicum, and then Symbolic Logic. There's a bunch of dumb songs/excercises to learn for practicum, and Logic is definitely my weakest class. Actually, now with that horrible paper I must be doing pretty badly in my seminar, too. Oh, Krystyna.. what are we going to do with you?
So it seems I'm sad cause I'm just stressed out/ I feel like I don't have control over things. Cause in general.. today after the movie, for example.. thoughts like "I love life"
and "I love humanity" and stuff were going though my head. I'm not totally off, track I think. I just kind of have to find my balance..
My head feels.. numb.. or.. something.
[I think its saying I need sleep.]
Goodnight.
Tomorrow's Matt's birthday, also.
OH, oh, OH!
So i mentioned earlier how people have been asking me if I'm on crack.
Well, on Tuesday it reached its Zenith.
I was late to my religion class because of my flute lesson. As I walked in, the Professor was asking a question and I thought I knew the answer, so I raised my hand. I realized he wasn't asking what I thought he was, though, so I put it back down. He called on me, "Were you raising your hand Krystyna?"
I replied, "No, uhm.. I have this nervous tic actually, where it just kind of.."
The class kind of chuckled. The Professor said something like, "Oh, that's weird cause I haven't seen it happen before." haha. I'm pretty much a blob in that class usually.
So after mockign me a bit, he continues with whatever Biblical thing he was talking about. Meanwhile, I'm still cracking up. I was just in one of those giggly moods, you know? So I'm shaking the table, and he calls on me again or something. I didn't even know what he asked, but as soon as he said my name I started laughign out loud, and said "Sorry, I don't know what it is, I'm in a really weird mood today. It's been going on for a while now." This guy Trevor who's in chapel singers with me, too, said "Yeah, she's been like this for three days straight."
Prof. Lyke goes, "Well, let's see. It could be one of three things. One, it could be sleep deprivation. Two... you're slowly going crazy. Or there's one other thing.. and I'm not trying to imply anything here, so don't take it the wrong way.. but it might be chemically induced."
So we all start laughing again, and meanwhile, I hear Trevor say "Whatever she's on, where can I get some?"
I love how now even my Professors thing I'm a nutjob.
I'm making quite a reputation for myself, esp. among upperclassmen. lol. Wonderful.
So that's about it. Sorry I keep talking about how messed up I am. I'm probably not, but I do feel really WeEeIrD. It seems I complain all the time, and talk about it to everyone, and it's really stubbornly NOT passing. I hope I get to relax and chill out little over break.
Byee.
I really enjoyed it; it was very fulfilling. The kind of movie that kind of lingers on even after its over. Anyway, I recommend seeing it. The allegory was pretty blatant if you knew it was there.. I wonder if I would have caught it had I not been looking for it? Too bad I didn't read the books beforehand, too, but I think I might try and get on that soon.. maybe even over break. Weird too, how a figurative movie like this one can be so much more moving than others that are that's totally explicit. Maybe I should organize some kind of family outing; I'd definitely see it again.
Today was alright. Crazy blizzardish thing happened, we got about 5-6 inches of snow. I was up until 5:30ish last night though [slacking on a paper], and it was only barely snowing then. Surprising that when I woke up only 4-ish hours later there was so much. Surprising, too, that I was able to function at all today. I had woken up late anyway, actually, since I was supposed to help Father Dolan stuff mailboxes with flyers about some mariachi/our Lady of Guadalupe thing. I still had my music class despite the snow, but my Philosophy, er Logic, prof. didn't show up so we were only in class for like 15 minutes. I had time to practice a piano thingy for my practicum, and some flute. Yeah, I spent a lot of time on flute today. [My teacher's making me totally change my amobouchure (sp?)- impossible!] But then I had to rush back to my dorm and finish that paper. I hope I get an F on it so that I'll never slack off like that again. I can't go through life waiting to do things for the last minute, and half-assing them. I can do so much better.
I talked about that with my mentor maybe last week or so.. how when you kind of BS work you have no pride in it.. not very fulfilling. Honestly, I think I've been stressed out lately cause this whole semester hasn't been fulfilling. I've been barely getting by, and apparently, the "joy of learning lies in preparation," says Father Dolan. I freaked last night at mass (it was a holy day of obligation, like four students were there. pathetic. but whatever.) and started crying randomly, and Father was like.. okay, you want to talk? So we talked- about school, family- and he was like.. I can help you with spiritual stuff, but you should see a counselor. So I guess I'm going to do that.. later, I asked him, "So is it weird that I'll be seeing a counselor? Does it mean I'm really screwed up?" and he said, "Actually, it's like you're joining a really big club." Apparently, like 70% of the campus visits the counseling center. Haha. Crazy rich kids. J/k, I obviously have problems, too.
Change starts with you, was something he stressed, regarding the family issues. That's wise/ I hope I can do that. In general.
Bah, so I hope that helps. I sent out an application to Tutorial college earlier in the week, too. Hopefully I'll get in.. or actually, hopefully whatever's meant to happen will happen. Cause I'm not sure whether or not that's going to be good for me.. but if I actually do discipline myself next year and show interest, then I think the program would be really valuable. You live in the same (best!!) dorm with like 40ish, or 60ish kids and you're in this really liberal arts program that lasts all year, where you pretty much read 50 books about various topics and discuss them. I think something like that might make me a bit more all-around knowledgeable. Sometimes I just feel so damn clueless, you know? I want to know what the world's about! ...Poor, sheltered Krystyna. <--I'm joking; that exclamation makes me sound like a confused little kid. Anyway..
SoOo. There's that. I never wrote about stuff that happened weeks ago. Like weeks and weeks ago Brett and I went to the Polish Deli and made fun of weird food, but that was like still October. Like the third week of November, I guess, I went with Corazon to this Salsarengue party thing. It was fun for the most part. We got dressed up, and I refreshed my salsa skills. I danced with like.. 5 guys. And I don't think I even knew any of them very well; so weird. Awkward, actually.. stepping on people you're only vaguely acquainted with.. good for first impressions. [Ha.] All I have to say is the Spanish guys seem to have it in their blood, and so they know what they're doing. Me and the white boys need practice. But oh, it would be so wonderful to really know how to dance it! I feel like I say this so often, but watching the really GOOD couples is amazing. I love it, I really do. HAHA I remembered now how I loved the salsa band, too. They're so SPIRITED, and they have so much fun! I'd love to play with guys like them; gimme a trumpet, or a tambourine, or some CLAVES or ANYTHING. Alas, I am white.. and Polish.. and female. I just don't think it would work out! /sigh.
I just got sick. Or re-sick, since I was kind of sickish before Thanksgiving. I went to the health center.. some viral infection. Drink fluids, get sleep, yadda yadda. And I'm still online.
Uhh. So I saw that movie today after first having a dinner/X-mas party at Mark and Christi Reed's house. It was nice, we exchanged corny gifts. They're nice people.
What else? Oh my, we're having a Christmas Service called Lessons and Carols this Sunday. This opera singer named Christine Brewer is singing with us, too. We practiced with her yesterday and my God, it was beautiful. We're there singing Silent Night or something, and her voice just floats over the top of everything.. it immediately took me back to the beauty of midnight mass at Christmas, and I started to bawl. Well, not bawl per-se, but spazz out/tear.
I cried at the movie today, too. Actually, I cry pretty spontaneously. I wish I could take things less personally, and not feel down so often.
When it comes to art and stuff, I guess I don't mind being really emotional.. I guess it's a response I have when something really moves me. But honestly, I wish I could channel those emotions into something productive. No use crying over spilt milk, eh? Probably not much use crying in general.
There's going to be this Christian community service thing going on the week before clases start in January. I think I might come back early and do that, since I probably will be kind of sick of my famiyl by then. We'll be doing stuff with Habitat for Humanity, which should be cool. As should hanging out with cool people.
FINALS are NEXT WEEK. My first is music practicum, and then Symbolic Logic. There's a bunch of dumb songs/excercises to learn for practicum, and Logic is definitely my weakest class. Actually, now with that horrible paper I must be doing pretty badly in my seminar, too. Oh, Krystyna.. what are we going to do with you?
So it seems I'm sad cause I'm just stressed out/ I feel like I don't have control over things. Cause in general.. today after the movie, for example.. thoughts like "I love life"
and "I love humanity" and stuff were going though my head. I'm not totally off, track I think. I just kind of have to find my balance..
My head feels.. numb.. or.. something.
[I think its saying I need sleep.]
Goodnight.
Tomorrow's Matt's birthday, also.
OH, oh, OH!
So i mentioned earlier how people have been asking me if I'm on crack.
Well, on Tuesday it reached its Zenith.
I was late to my religion class because of my flute lesson. As I walked in, the Professor was asking a question and I thought I knew the answer, so I raised my hand. I realized he wasn't asking what I thought he was, though, so I put it back down. He called on me, "Were you raising your hand Krystyna?"
I replied, "No, uhm.. I have this nervous tic actually, where it just kind of.."
The class kind of chuckled. The Professor said something like, "Oh, that's weird cause I haven't seen it happen before." haha. I'm pretty much a blob in that class usually.
So after mockign me a bit, he continues with whatever Biblical thing he was talking about. Meanwhile, I'm still cracking up. I was just in one of those giggly moods, you know? So I'm shaking the table, and he calls on me again or something. I didn't even know what he asked, but as soon as he said my name I started laughign out loud, and said "Sorry, I don't know what it is, I'm in a really weird mood today. It's been going on for a while now." This guy Trevor who's in chapel singers with me, too, said "Yeah, she's been like this for three days straight."
Prof. Lyke goes, "Well, let's see. It could be one of three things. One, it could be sleep deprivation. Two... you're slowly going crazy. Or there's one other thing.. and I'm not trying to imply anything here, so don't take it the wrong way.. but it might be chemically induced."
So we all start laughing again, and meanwhile, I hear Trevor say "Whatever she's on, where can I get some?"
I love how now even my Professors thing I'm a nutjob.
I'm making quite a reputation for myself, esp. among upperclassmen. lol. Wonderful.
So that's about it. Sorry I keep talking about how messed up I am. I'm probably not, but I do feel really WeEeIrD. It seems I complain all the time, and talk about it to everyone, and it's really stubbornly NOT passing. I hope I get to relax and chill out little over break.
Byee.