I kind of forgot that I had this thing...
So...hey.
Well I'm entering my ninth month of pregnancy, and I suppose it's going well...no complications if that's what "well" means. But I warn you all, when you do get pregnant, the last month is hell...not even maternity clothes fit and there is no such thing as a comfortable sleeping position anymore. But it's almost over and then Olivia will be here and I can get started learning how to be a mother...it's so weird to think that...Me..Krystle...a mother at eighteen. Never ever ever ever EVER thought that I would be in this situation. But things happen for a reason, right? Right.
I was reading all of the other journals tonight because of lack of better things to do, and I read about drinking and smoking and sex and "fun"...and I felt a mixture of emotions with all of that. I felt nostalgic because I used to go out and do all of that. I had my normal body and I showed it off and I had a ton of fun. I drank, I smoked, I had sex (obviously), and life was great. I felt so...free? And now my view on things has totally changed. Being pregnant has made me a completely different person...which I suppose is a good thing. I can't seem to comprehend how all of those activities were fun for me...I don't understand the appeal anymore...I don't put on makeup or brush my hair now...there's no one I need to impress. It's me and Christian and Baby, and I'm okay with that. But sometimes I wonder if there's going to be severe mental reprocussions when I'm older due to my youth ending abruptly early. I wonder if I really am missing out on things, or if I'm just getting started a little earlier than everyone else.
I'm so glad that I have a boyfriend who is sticking around and who has made countless sacrifices for me and for this baby. I realize that I'm seriously lucky to be a teenage mom with as much support as I have. He's stopped smoking and he's realized that his life is beginning now, and he's possibly more excited for Olivia than I am. I'm glad that there's someone who still finds my humongous stomach appealing, and who will listen to me complain and have nothing but sympathy for me. I'm glad that there's someone who comes with me to lamaze and breaths right there beside me and plays with my hair when I have mini contractions because he knows that it relaxes me completely. I'm so incredibly thankful for all of this, and I hope that all of you will have someone like Christian with you when you become pregnant.
I do feel like I missed out on a bunch of senior activities this year in school though. I didn't get to go to any proms or dances, except for homecoming at the beginning of the year. I didn't go on field trips. I couldn't even go to the yearbook signing thing because I had childbirth class that night. But there's nothing I can do about that I suppose...priorities change. But I am incredibly excited for Christian's senior prom next year, and I've already lined up my mom to babysit that night :)
Well I'm entering my ninth month of pregnancy, and I suppose it's going well...no complications if that's what "well" means. But I warn you all, when you do get pregnant, the last month is hell...not even maternity clothes fit and there is no such thing as a comfortable sleeping position anymore. But it's almost over and then Olivia will be here and I can get started learning how to be a mother...it's so weird to think that...Me..Krystle...a mother at eighteen. Never ever ever ever EVER thought that I would be in this situation. But things happen for a reason, right? Right.
I was reading all of the other journals tonight because of lack of better things to do, and I read about drinking and smoking and sex and "fun"...and I felt a mixture of emotions with all of that. I felt nostalgic because I used to go out and do all of that. I had my normal body and I showed it off and I had a ton of fun. I drank, I smoked, I had sex (obviously), and life was great. I felt so...free? And now my view on things has totally changed. Being pregnant has made me a completely different person...which I suppose is a good thing. I can't seem to comprehend how all of those activities were fun for me...I don't understand the appeal anymore...I don't put on makeup or brush my hair now...there's no one I need to impress. It's me and Christian and Baby, and I'm okay with that. But sometimes I wonder if there's going to be severe mental reprocussions when I'm older due to my youth ending abruptly early. I wonder if I really am missing out on things, or if I'm just getting started a little earlier than everyone else.
I'm so glad that I have a boyfriend who is sticking around and who has made countless sacrifices for me and for this baby. I realize that I'm seriously lucky to be a teenage mom with as much support as I have. He's stopped smoking and he's realized that his life is beginning now, and he's possibly more excited for Olivia than I am. I'm glad that there's someone who still finds my humongous stomach appealing, and who will listen to me complain and have nothing but sympathy for me. I'm glad that there's someone who comes with me to lamaze and breaths right there beside me and plays with my hair when I have mini contractions because he knows that it relaxes me completely. I'm so incredibly thankful for all of this, and I hope that all of you will have someone like Christian with you when you become pregnant.
I do feel like I missed out on a bunch of senior activities this year in school though. I didn't get to go to any proms or dances, except for homecoming at the beginning of the year. I didn't go on field trips. I couldn't even go to the yearbook signing thing because I had childbirth class that night. But there's nothing I can do about that I suppose...priorities change. But I am incredibly excited for Christian's senior prom next year, and I've already lined up my mom to babysit that night :)