Magical Umbrella
Today an umbrella appeared on my desk. Perhaps it has been there longer, but it seems magical that I notice it around the same time it is slightly rainy outside and I am lacking in umbrella. Have decided it is unmistakable proof that Lord Voldemort rewards those who follow him (as I do, on Twitter.) All attempts to use logic or morality will not be tolerated; would suggest any who engage in such behaviour to fuck themselves, but out of respect for fellow Voldie neophyte Christine O'Donnell (and fear of splintering the movement like the Green Party), will not make afore-iterated suggestion.