Why, DouWata comm? Why?
The prompt was, "Open to page 104 of the first book you can lay your grubby little hands on. Read page. Create AU based on page. Drabble or art away."
MY NEAREST BOOK WAS THE ODYSSEY.
Watanuki trudged along the path to the river, laundry basket over his shoulder. "Damn Yuuko," he muttered to himself, "won't do her own damn laundry if her life depended on it." He was conveniently ignoring the fact that he owed Yuuko, a demigoddess, an immense debt for a service rendered less than a year ago, and was working off the payment.
In Watanuki's mind, this entailed helping around the house. In Lady Yuuko's, it meant slavery.
After what seemed like hours (but was really only fifteen minutes or so), Watanuki reached the river. He dumped the basket full of rich robes onto the ground, and adjusted his own toga before reaching in to pull the first one out.
"WHAAAAAAAT?!" he yelled in surprise, causing a flock of birds to take flight from the branches of a nearby tree. "THIS - THIS IS - I CAN'T WASH THIS IN A RIVER!" The robe was ornate, covered in shining beads and embroidered beautifully in thin gold thread - probably real gold, if Watanuki knew Yuuko. "I-i-impossible!! If I ruin it, she'll just make me work longer! I won't do it!! I WON'T!"
A groan issued out from a nearby patch of shrubbery. "Not so loud....idiot."
Watanuki jumped higher than Bellerophon. "AAAAAAAGH!" he screamed in panic. "Wha - wha - who's there?!"
A young man sat up, his head and shoulders emerging from the bushes. His eyes were like gold, and his hair was dark. His arms and chest, from what Watanuki could see, were very well-muscled and marred by the occasional scar. This man had survived many battles, Watanuki could tell.
The spell was broken when the man stood up completely, and was totally naked.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Watanuki screamed like his own honor and chastity were at stake. "P-P-PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!! THAT'S INDECENT!!"
The man looked down. "Oh. Right." He reached out and took the robe right out of Watanuki's hands and wrapped it around himself.
"N-N-NOT THAT!" Watanuki shouted. "THAT BELONGS TO THE GODDESS YUUKO, I HOPE YOU KNOW, AND SHE EXPECTS ME TO WASH IT, NOT LEND IT TO SOME FILTHY RANDOM CRAZY NAKED PERSON!"
"You work for Yuuko?" the man asked, blatantly ignoring Watanuki's discomfort.
"Yeah, I - wait! Don't try to change the subject!!" Watanuki groused.
"Where does she live?"
"Like I'll tell you!"
"Fine, then. I'll keep this."
Watanuki growled. From the looks of it, the only way to get that robe back to Yuuko would be to take this man to see her. She could deal with him, and Watanuki would do the laundry later. It wasn't his fault that a rude naked man had shown up and stolen her clothes.
"All right, all right, I'll take you to see her," Watanuki groused. "Follow me, and don't fall behind! I won't wait for you!" He slung the too-heavy basket over his shoulder and took off, not even looking back. Although he probably would have, if he hadn't heard the soft footfalls of bare feet.
After traveling in silence for a while, Watanuki spoke. "You look ridiculous."
"Hn," was the only response.
"That's a woman's robe." Watanuki allowed himself a snicker.
"Hn."
"You look like a woman."
"So do you, with that basket over your shoulder."
Watanuki stopped dead. He'd never felt this furious with anyone in his life. Not only did he show up STARK NAKED and have the AUDACITY to steal a goddess's clothes, but he didn't even have the decency to take Watanuki's insult without turning it around against him! "Hmph. Bet you couldn't lift this."
"I could."
"Bet you couldn't. Bet you couldn't carry it back, either."
Suddenly, the weight was gone from his back. He saw the man hoist it onto his own shoulder - easily, at that! - and pick up the pace. "Stop walking so slowly," he said.
Watanuki fumed. The nerve - !! He broke into a trot to keep up with the man's long strides.
They reached the palace in ten minutes. Doumeki looked up. "Is this it?"
"Idiot!" Watanuki hissed. "Show more respect!" He pushed the doors open and made his way to the throne room, where Yuuko lay sprawled across the chair, feet up and crossed over the armrest. "Lady Yuuko!"
She looked over at him. "Oh, dear, I see the laundry didn't get done. Distracted, were we?"
Watanuki scowled. "This - this complete and utter moron showed up out of NOWHERE and stole your robe!! And wouldn't give it back unless I brought him here!" There! He's sure to get his come-uppance now!!
To his great surprise, Yuuko smiled. "Welcome, Shizuka Doumeki."
Watanuki's jaw dropped open.
"Thank you, great goddess," Doumeki replied, inclining his own head. "I apologize for my rudeness."
"No, no," she said airily, waving her hand, "it is I who should apologize for my servant's lack of manners. You will find our hospitality on par with the gods upon Olympus."
"D-D-DOUMEKI?! THE SHIZUKA DOUMEKI? THE GUY WHO MADE THAT - THAT GIANT HORSE THING IN TROY?!" Who HADN'T heard of the great war hero?
"Yes," Yuuko said. "Thank you very much for bringing him here; I have wanted to meet him in person for a long time now."
Watanuki felt his face flush crimson. To think he'd been so - so callous!! He had called the cleverest man alive an idiot! He'd have to watch himself from now on -
"Oi. I need clothes."
"WHY DO YOU THINK I'LL JUST BRING YOU CLOTHES YOU GIANT MASS OF IDIOT?! I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE!!" Watanuki raged. "YOU'RE THE GUEST HERE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES, TOO!!"
"Do you want me to walk around naked?"
Watanuki's face turned even brighter. "N-N-NO, OF COURSE NOT!!" He stomped out of the chamber to get the oldest, rattiest toga he could find.
Yuuko, on the other hand, smiled to herself. "I look forward to hearing the tales of your adventure, Doumeki."
OKAY, THIS IS NOT THE END. The page I opened it to, 104, was of Nausikaa finding Odysseus and bringing him back to the Phaiakians, where he tells his story. HOWEVER. I want to write odysseus!Watanuki and calypso!Yuuko, and odysseus!Doumeki stringing the bow and shooting the arrow through the axe-heads, before pwning all the suitors after penelope!Watanuki. I also might do the re-union interaction, because that would be hilarious and kind of cute in a SPAZZY WHERE-THE-HELL-HAVE-YOU-BEEN-THESE-LAST-TWENTY-YEARS kind of way.
Oh, god, why do I do this to myself? XDDD