Happy Thanksgiving! Turkey Life Hack!!
Hi everyone! Happy Turkey Day! We had ours today instead of tomorrow so we could have a later dinner (every year I aim for six o'clock; every year I miss) and some wine without having to get up for work in the morning. Yay! I am having Barefoot Muscatel which is a very delicious sweet white wine! Yay! I've had three glasses! Woo! And Mike didn't drink his so I'm having his too! Yay! I am a very cheap drunk so am drunk-posting! Woo!
So please excuse any spelling errors I miss. :)
So I have a Turkey Day life hack for you all. Because every damned year I struggle to get the bloody turkey out of the pan in one piece and dammit, it's hard. But this year I did it! Easy peasy! Pop! Whoo! On the plate! yay! SUPER easy. My brilliance, let me share it. And since most of you who are in Canada and likely to eat turkey this weekend will be doing so tomorrow, you can totally use it! Because it is brilliant! I am brilliant!
Go me!
So, okay, here's what you do. VEEEEERY complicated so pay attention.
Step 1: Remove turkey (and pan) from oven.
Step 2: You're supposed to let the turkey sit for like ten minutes or so to "rest" (poor tired turkey) so do that while you're eating your appetizer which if you're Canadian is probably (but not necessarily) shrimp cocktails, because when people say Canada doesn't have a national dish (except maybe poutine) they're wrong; we do, and it's turkey dinner.
Step 3: Put your appetizer dishes away. Now, and here's the complicated part: Grab a new pair of dish gloves and put them on.
I always have another new pair around because they get holes unexpectedly. I buy them at the dollar store for I dunno, two or three bucks for the expensive ones with the cuffs. But whatevs, just grab a new set of dish gloves.
Step 4: With the dish gloves on, wash your hands. because what are you, a barbarian?
Step 5 (which I did but you can probably skip): Shake gloves dry and give them a cautious lick to make sure there isn't any weird flavour left on them. You remember how it ended up with the hot water bottle water and the digs, don't you?*
Step 6: Put your Turkey platter next to your turkey pan.
Step 7: Reach into the damned pan with your gloved hands, grab the turkey that is now cool enough to do this without hurting yourself or melting the rubber all over your dinner, pick it up (slide your hands under its "waist" to support both the legs and the wings, if you need detailed directions), and put it onto the damned platter. DONE.
It's just that simple. Put clean new dish gloves on, wash them just in case, and once the turkey has rested, reach in, lift it out by hand, and dump it on the plate. DONE.
When I think of how many years I have spent money on stupid things liek that stupid giant two-pronged fork ything, or string slings that don't support anything, or fiddlin g around with, like, the turkey fork and a spatula or whatever, and all this time... Just grab that fucker and put it on the plate! :D And use the gloves so your hands aren't a mess and you don't get burned. When you're done, wash your hands again (with the gloves still on), and put them away for later.
DONE.
I am a fucking GENIUS. :D
Enjoy your turkey! Ham people, willing to bet it works for ham too lol.
*Don't worry, I don't htink I tiold you about it. Back before we had a decent reliable well and were carefully making the most of every ounce of water we had, I was dumping my hot water bottles out into the dogs' water dish instead of down the sink--whereupon they would promptly refuse to drink it. After the third or fourth time of this I tried the water myself to see what was wrong with it. It was disgusting. It's not food-grade rubber (don't know why I was surprised by that but I was) and the rubber chemicals leeched into the water making it completely undrinkable. I never gave the water to the dogs again and instead sweitched to useing two-litre pop bottles for hot water bottles as they work a lot better, last longer, and give you an emergency store of water that is NOT GROSS.
**Yes, I drank more wine while typing this. No, I'm not more drunk; I just stopped caring about correcting my mistakes so much. Hee!
This entry was originally posted at http://kryss-labryn.dreamwidth.org/103635.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
So please excuse any spelling errors I miss. :)
So I have a Turkey Day life hack for you all. Because every damned year I struggle to get the bloody turkey out of the pan in one piece and dammit, it's hard. But this year I did it! Easy peasy! Pop! Whoo! On the plate! yay! SUPER easy. My brilliance, let me share it. And since most of you who are in Canada and likely to eat turkey this weekend will be doing so tomorrow, you can totally use it! Because it is brilliant! I am brilliant!
Go me!
So, okay, here's what you do. VEEEEERY complicated so pay attention.
Step 1: Remove turkey (and pan) from oven.
Step 2: You're supposed to let the turkey sit for like ten minutes or so to "rest" (poor tired turkey) so do that while you're eating your appetizer which if you're Canadian is probably (but not necessarily) shrimp cocktails, because when people say Canada doesn't have a national dish (except maybe poutine) they're wrong; we do, and it's turkey dinner.
Step 3: Put your appetizer dishes away. Now, and here's the complicated part: Grab a new pair of dish gloves and put them on.
I always have another new pair around because they get holes unexpectedly. I buy them at the dollar store for I dunno, two or three bucks for the expensive ones with the cuffs. But whatevs, just grab a new set of dish gloves.
Step 4: With the dish gloves on, wash your hands. because what are you, a barbarian?
Step 5 (which I did but you can probably skip): Shake gloves dry and give them a cautious lick to make sure there isn't any weird flavour left on them. You remember how it ended up with the hot water bottle water and the digs, don't you?*
Step 6: Put your Turkey platter next to your turkey pan.
Step 7: Reach into the damned pan with your gloved hands, grab the turkey that is now cool enough to do this without hurting yourself or melting the rubber all over your dinner, pick it up (slide your hands under its "waist" to support both the legs and the wings, if you need detailed directions), and put it onto the damned platter. DONE.
It's just that simple. Put clean new dish gloves on, wash them just in case, and once the turkey has rested, reach in, lift it out by hand, and dump it on the plate. DONE.
When I think of how many years I have spent money on stupid things liek that stupid giant two-pronged fork ything, or string slings that don't support anything, or fiddlin g around with, like, the turkey fork and a spatula or whatever, and all this time... Just grab that fucker and put it on the plate! :D And use the gloves so your hands aren't a mess and you don't get burned. When you're done, wash your hands again (with the gloves still on), and put them away for later.
DONE.
I am a fucking GENIUS. :D
Enjoy your turkey! Ham people, willing to bet it works for ham too lol.
*Don't worry, I don't htink I tiold you about it. Back before we had a decent reliable well and were carefully making the most of every ounce of water we had, I was dumping my hot water bottles out into the dogs' water dish instead of down the sink--whereupon they would promptly refuse to drink it. After the third or fourth time of this I tried the water myself to see what was wrong with it. It was disgusting. It's not food-grade rubber (don't know why I was surprised by that but I was) and the rubber chemicals leeched into the water making it completely undrinkable. I never gave the water to the dogs again and instead sweitched to useing two-litre pop bottles for hot water bottles as they work a lot better, last longer, and give you an emergency store of water that is NOT GROSS.
**Yes, I drank more wine while typing this. No, I'm not more drunk; I just stopped caring about correcting my mistakes so much. Hee!
This entry was originally posted at http://kryss-labryn.dreamwidth.org/103635.html. Please comment there using OpenID.