Save me from this torment please, Lord.
I'm just so tired, nowadays. It's like the weight of the world is pulling me down, down to the depths of darkness. I know it sounds super cliche here but that's how i feel. I can't feel God's presence anymore. I can't feel His touch. I only did yesterday, when I prayed really hard not to be late for the concert while freaking out because I was just so scared. But, in the end I got there right on time. God is so good.
Last night was real fun, it took my mind off some things for a while. Jotham did a great performance(: Especially the solo part, I could see he was kind of nervous as he came onstage, but it was all good. Haha and the emcees were super funny.. Ryhan told me Liyana was amused when they used the word "frenching". HAH. I can totally imagine.
Anyway, back to my main point for today's post.
This fatigue doesn't seem to go away, even after all that rest that I've had. I believe that it will go away when I find TRUE rest, which is in God, but I'm too physically tired to look for Him right now. It's just so hard.. and all the things that have been happening lately seem to take it out of me like nothing else ever has.
I think I'm scaring you. I'm so sorry, I really am.. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to you know how I felt. But if it's making you uncomfortable, I'll stop, it's okay with me. I hope God can help us be the way we used to be.
Lord, please save me. Please save me from this world which has a broken relationship with You, from this world who has gone so astray from our walk with You. I know of some people who've gone so astray that they give me weird looks when I pour out my soul to You, singing my heart out; please help me save them too. I want to capture Your heartbeat, feel Your sorrow for these lost sheep. Right now, I just feel anger and hopelessness against them, so please change it to sorrow and willingness to forgive them, and wanting to teach them more about You. Sometimes when I stand next to this type of people during worship, I feel so restricted and victimized, like their stares are all directed at me. Especially those who don't sing at all, it's even worse.
Sigh. I must learn to love them all. But I can't love people who revolt me, with my own strength. I've gotta rely on God.
Proactive + Progressive + Prothetic = History maker.
Last night was real fun, it took my mind off some things for a while. Jotham did a great performance(: Especially the solo part, I could see he was kind of nervous as he came onstage, but it was all good. Haha and the emcees were super funny.. Ryhan told me Liyana was amused when they used the word "frenching". HAH. I can totally imagine.
Anyway, back to my main point for today's post.
This fatigue doesn't seem to go away, even after all that rest that I've had. I believe that it will go away when I find TRUE rest, which is in God, but I'm too physically tired to look for Him right now. It's just so hard.. and all the things that have been happening lately seem to take it out of me like nothing else ever has.
I think I'm scaring you. I'm so sorry, I really am.. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to you know how I felt. But if it's making you uncomfortable, I'll stop, it's okay with me. I hope God can help us be the way we used to be.
Lord, please save me. Please save me from this world which has a broken relationship with You, from this world who has gone so astray from our walk with You. I know of some people who've gone so astray that they give me weird looks when I pour out my soul to You, singing my heart out; please help me save them too. I want to capture Your heartbeat, feel Your sorrow for these lost sheep. Right now, I just feel anger and hopelessness against them, so please change it to sorrow and willingness to forgive them, and wanting to teach them more about You. Sometimes when I stand next to this type of people during worship, I feel so restricted and victimized, like their stares are all directed at me. Especially those who don't sing at all, it's even worse.
Sigh. I must learn to love them all. But I can't love people who revolt me, with my own strength. I've gotta rely on God.
Proactive + Progressive + Prothetic = History maker.