shit happens.
i haven't written in this thing for a long time, but i have a lot on my mind, i guess.
college has made my parents nuts. i can't stand it anymore, i just want to be done with all schooling and get a job. let's fast forward 5 years and pretend like i have my major done and everything. i just know that i won't be able to stay at home while i'm in college. i need to get out on my own, but that takes money, which i don't have, so whatever, what else is new? i'm poor and i hate my job, but i don't want to start over and some place new.
relationships suck. i don't even know where to begin. everytime i start to really like a guy, yada yada, it never works out, and honestly, i'm sick of it. i'm sick of just being there when they want to hang out, but whenever i want to, it's not convenient for them. i'm pissed that i wasted basically my senior year on a guy, that at the time, seemed worth my time because let's face it: we had some good times and i was hooked. now, that's down the shithole because of this one girl. this girl always seems to be there and i'm sick of that too. she got in the way of one real relationship, and now, this one. i just wanted to scream at him "why her? how come you made excuses that it wouldn't work out between us, but now that you're going away for college you seem like you want a relationship with someone else that is staying home?" but of course, i just kept my cool and gave them both the one word answer treatment so i wouldn't say something i would regret later. some things will just go unanswered. i'm really just disappointed, not so much mad. they can't help who they like, it just sucks that he likes her after everything. i guess what really upset me was seeing them sleeping together the way we used to. it just made it official. the funny part of the evening was when people asked me how him and me were doing and then why we weren't together anymore. i remember just pointing and being like because SHE is here and we're over now. i guess a lot more people knew that we were just this random pair that had a history. also, i thought i could be over this guy when this other guy and i hit it off. then he gave me some bullshit excuse as to why it wouldn't work out right now. i'm just sick of getting my hopes up for something that seems so good, but never happens.
on a happier note, the rumor that i heard about my best friend is not true. one less thing for me to worry about.
and i'm done here.
sorry about that.
had to get it out.
college has made my parents nuts. i can't stand it anymore, i just want to be done with all schooling and get a job. let's fast forward 5 years and pretend like i have my major done and everything. i just know that i won't be able to stay at home while i'm in college. i need to get out on my own, but that takes money, which i don't have, so whatever, what else is new? i'm poor and i hate my job, but i don't want to start over and some place new.
relationships suck. i don't even know where to begin. everytime i start to really like a guy, yada yada, it never works out, and honestly, i'm sick of it. i'm sick of just being there when they want to hang out, but whenever i want to, it's not convenient for them. i'm pissed that i wasted basically my senior year on a guy, that at the time, seemed worth my time because let's face it: we had some good times and i was hooked. now, that's down the shithole because of this one girl. this girl always seems to be there and i'm sick of that too. she got in the way of one real relationship, and now, this one. i just wanted to scream at him "why her? how come you made excuses that it wouldn't work out between us, but now that you're going away for college you seem like you want a relationship with someone else that is staying home?" but of course, i just kept my cool and gave them both the one word answer treatment so i wouldn't say something i would regret later. some things will just go unanswered. i'm really just disappointed, not so much mad. they can't help who they like, it just sucks that he likes her after everything. i guess what really upset me was seeing them sleeping together the way we used to. it just made it official. the funny part of the evening was when people asked me how him and me were doing and then why we weren't together anymore. i remember just pointing and being like because SHE is here and we're over now. i guess a lot more people knew that we were just this random pair that had a history. also, i thought i could be over this guy when this other guy and i hit it off. then he gave me some bullshit excuse as to why it wouldn't work out right now. i'm just sick of getting my hopes up for something that seems so good, but never happens.
on a happier note, the rumor that i heard about my best friend is not true. one less thing for me to worry about.
and i'm done here.
sorry about that.
had to get it out.