(Untitled)
I had to do this one twice because there were so many questions for which I could have gone two different ways, and I feel like the combination of the two results makes sense (whereas neither one on it's own really would):
( Sadistic or Masochistic? )
( Sadistic or Masochistic? )
The communities are pretty good, although I tend to use websites if I want concrete information right away. The fun thing with the communities is watching the occasional person come in looking for information on Gorean slavery and watching everyone snicker.
I'm beginning to suspect a genetic component. I've noticed that the stronger the identification as a sub or dom and the more easily the behavior comes (although I see that more with doms) the more likely the person is to have a history traceable to early childhood.
For most people, D/s does, of course, involve sex. It's just that my Domme and I flirted around the D/s aspect of things for a while and found that we're more comfortable interacting that way. So we remain platonic friends and I obey her. And it works well, at least right now. I don't expect it to be forever.
The way I see it, no sex should really be entered into lightly. BDSM just tends to make the risks more obvious (in a vanilla relationship, the same dangers are there - like someone ignoring protests - but they're less overtly obvious.) But yeah, I'm terrified of being incautious and getting myself into trouble. So instead I act overly cautious.
What you're considering can be plenty hardcore BDSM, and as much as a lot of people ever do. I'd think that in a relationship where you plan to switch, a formal 24/7 D/s relationship would be a hinderance, not an asset.
Do you mean ritualized, rather than structured? I think it's probably much easier for me to conceive of going through with all the ritual of a formal collaring etc since I don't want to switch. Structure, though, I see as inherent to anything that involves more than the most casual BDSM play. And yeah, not interested in 24/7 really either. I'd like to belong to someone 24/7, but constantly being in a submissive role? No, just no.
I was thinking, would you object to my adding you as a friend on AIM? I'd love to talk as a conversation (especially about something as complex as this,) rather than as a series of comments. If not, I understand completely. After all, you barely know me from Adam (err, Eve since you do know I'm female *grin*)
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