Dumping - a brand new experience.
I got dumped a week ago. My first actually, so I have no idea how I will react. Or yeah the past week's reaction I know (obviously).
I have felt that he stopped to love me a while ago, if he ever did. Looking back I'm sure I loved him but how the hell do I know that since that was the first time for me being in love. It doesn't happen easily for me which is both a good and a bad thing. But if that's the case, shouldn't it take longer than a week for me to get past it so much that I'm able to grab a coffee with him without grieving? Am I that good at bottle up my feelings? Or did I just convince myself that it was love. I don't know. And it bugs me.
At least we will stay friends (I hope) because I like hanging out with him. And I have to say that he is a thousand times better at breaking up than he's been at keeping up our relationship the past half-a-year. Weird, but he is far from being common and ordinary, I guess.
Right now I have to really understand that I'm really, really single. It feels weird to say the least. But perhaps also freeing. I don't know anything. I have to find my ground again. I'm walking on quicksand and I'm just confused and don't know who I am. I guess I never knew that och probably never will, but this event made me start to think. Do we ever know ourselves. And if we doesn't know ourselves how can we find someone to share our lives with. How can you find the love you see in the movies and read about in novels? Mulder and Scully? Liz and Max? Romeo and Juliet? Richard and Kahlan? Does it even exist? I doubt it. I hope someone proves me wrong. Until then I will be alone again, and somehow get used to it yet again. When I do, I won't feel the pain anymore.
I have felt that he stopped to love me a while ago, if he ever did. Looking back I'm sure I loved him but how the hell do I know that since that was the first time for me being in love. It doesn't happen easily for me which is both a good and a bad thing. But if that's the case, shouldn't it take longer than a week for me to get past it so much that I'm able to grab a coffee with him without grieving? Am I that good at bottle up my feelings? Or did I just convince myself that it was love. I don't know. And it bugs me.
At least we will stay friends (I hope) because I like hanging out with him. And I have to say that he is a thousand times better at breaking up than he's been at keeping up our relationship the past half-a-year. Weird, but he is far from being common and ordinary, I guess.
Right now I have to really understand that I'm really, really single. It feels weird to say the least. But perhaps also freeing. I don't know anything. I have to find my ground again. I'm walking on quicksand and I'm just confused and don't know who I am. I guess I never knew that och probably never will, but this event made me start to think. Do we ever know ourselves. And if we doesn't know ourselves how can we find someone to share our lives with. How can you find the love you see in the movies and read about in novels? Mulder and Scully? Liz and Max? Romeo and Juliet? Richard and Kahlan? Does it even exist? I doubt it. I hope someone proves me wrong. Until then I will be alone again, and somehow get used to it yet again. When I do, I won't feel the pain anymore.