Why can anything it my life be simple.
OK so if you all didn’t know in April I had an abortion . It was the hardest thing I ever did. Well I had been with the guy who had gotten me pageant for almost a year when I couldn’t do it anymore. Every time I looked at him I wondered what it would have been like? Would we have had a happy little family? Could we have handled it? It got to the point where I didn’t even want to sleep with him anymore. It was hard enough to look at him let alone make love. So I broke up with him and am now seeing someone else. I broke his heart but mine has been broken for a long time. He wants me to deal with it with him to talk about it. But I know no matter how much time I spend dealing and how much talking about it I do I’m always going to wonder and I cant live my life with that. I need to start over. I need a new beginning and I’ve found that in this new guy but I still love the old one and I always will. Why cant I just make it all go away I really don’t know what to do. I cant go back to him because I’ll always be thinking about it. But to get away I’ll have to hurt him and I really don’t want to do that. Why must my life be so complicated. I sat here yesterday and thought about draining my bank account and buying a plane ticket out of here so I could start over. Maybe I’ll just wait until the holidays are over before I do.