pocket full of sunshine. not.
I was digging through my last journal-y place, and I found a stash of my old poems. They don't concentrate on the precise words being used, instead it really is purely the emotions conveyed through the syntax and the punctuation (in some). Very raw emotions. I think there are around... 5?
#1
So many questions asked
So many questions left hanging
Stare into space in collisional aversion
We’re spinning
We’re spinning
We’re spinning out of tune and out of this world
Daisy, girls, not twink* please
What you write and how you cross it out is everything that’s so much needed
So many words
So much sunshine
Going blind Going blind
Truth? Truth?
She doesn’t live here anymore
Oceans
Waves
Crashing Crashing
Push it aside Put it away Don’t think of a whisper again
Keep it Keep it
Trust? Trust?
She moved next door
Look away
To avoid the unavoidable
Take a peak Sneak a glance
Guarantees
Lost Lost
Spinning out of control
No pain No pain Just another pill
Let it flow
There’s more to speak than this
Can’t feel the word? Lost in the thesaurus?
Don’t touch Don’t touch
Don’t touch me
More spirals than the rest
Don’t get lost Don’t get lost
Whirlwinds of state emotions
The heart melted
The mind no more
Incomplete Incomplete
Don’t try Don’t try
Repeat Repeat
Lies Lies
---------------- Static. Repeat please?
Break down Break down
The emphasis - - paused
Half a beat behind
Always half a beat behind
Now: Wish: gone, going gone.
(twink* --> whiteout)
#2
Eliminate the Unwanted
Forget the needy
Extreme emotion - unnecessary
Uniformed answers
Listless faces
Who dares to care for me?
Be gone the Wonders
Let go the holdee
No substantial feeling
Tangibility is sin
Pouring my soul into another
And hope for something within
Broken words that show only pain
What was once vital
now draw no emotion
#3
With nowhere to go
What can you do? Where do you run?
All the lies that are spoken as truth
Why do you believe?
The distance between us
Can be overcome by words
Why don't we speak?
No poetry is left
Power is corruption
Responsibility is pain
Bleeding is injustice
Loving is in vain
Bite the hands that feed
Lick the pair that hurts
Baptism to death
Pronounce the word
And you shant be forgotten
Thanks to your truth now
My belief is rotten
#4
Take this away from me
I don’t want to believe
Sometimes it really is hard to see
Drowning under the sea of everyone’s expectations
What if I don’t want to succeed?
What if I don’t want to breathe?
what if I’m tired of rhyming and want to try to defy?
I’m tired of the laughter of less appreciated thoughts
Sickened by the sound of silence
Don’t leave me alone with my thoughts
The same faces spitting out the same words
I really cannot care less
The old days of which I smile and laugh and accept all for who and what they are
I’m apathetic at last
Too sick, too tired to play this game
Press pause on my life’s tape
And rewind till I fall
Where do you run to… when you’re hiding from your thoughts?
#5
Write the X upon my hand
It's better than being told I wasn't good enough
Dye my hair a color you hate
Maybe I'll get the message then
Never really believed it anyway
I hope I remain
Inspire me with something more than me
Because everything there is faded
To a lighter shade I can barely see
It's nice to know I remained to some degree
Turn my back on most I stood for
Not easy living with the consequences
Maybe I'll learn and maybe you will too
Even though it hurts less if we stay this way
I'd like to think it was all just a dream
Let's do that - ignore the facts
Fly away, spread your wings
The wings that burst from your back
While you opened you somewhere else
Some make it work, the awkward colors
Flats and minors are all I use
With a violin I cannot reach
Listen to my pain, can you feel it too?
I hope you do
Hide me from the world fast forward
Let me stay Let me breathe
By myself
I want to know that I can do
Mm, I was a dark, dark child.
#1
So many questions asked
So many questions left hanging
Stare into space in collisional aversion
We’re spinning
We’re spinning
We’re spinning out of tune and out of this world
Daisy, girls, not twink* please
What you write and how you cross it out is everything that’s so much needed
So many words
So much sunshine
Going blind Going blind
Truth? Truth?
She doesn’t live here anymore
Oceans
Waves
Crashing Crashing
Push it aside Put it away Don’t think of a whisper again
Keep it Keep it
Trust? Trust?
She moved next door
Look away
To avoid the unavoidable
Take a peak Sneak a glance
Guarantees
Lost Lost
Spinning out of control
No pain No pain Just another pill
Let it flow
There’s more to speak than this
Can’t feel the word? Lost in the thesaurus?
Don’t touch Don’t touch
Don’t touch me
More spirals than the rest
Don’t get lost Don’t get lost
Whirlwinds of state emotions
The heart melted
The mind no more
Incomplete Incomplete
Don’t try Don’t try
Repeat Repeat
Lies Lies
---------------- Static. Repeat please?
Break down Break down
The emphasis - - paused
Half a beat behind
Always half a beat behind
Now: Wish: gone, going gone.
(twink* --> whiteout)
#2
Eliminate the Unwanted
Forget the needy
Extreme emotion - unnecessary
Uniformed answers
Listless faces
Who dares to care for me?
Be gone the Wonders
Let go the holdee
No substantial feeling
Tangibility is sin
Pouring my soul into another
And hope for something within
Broken words that show only pain
What was once vital
now draw no emotion
#3
With nowhere to go
What can you do? Where do you run?
All the lies that are spoken as truth
Why do you believe?
The distance between us
Can be overcome by words
Why don't we speak?
No poetry is left
Power is corruption
Responsibility is pain
Bleeding is injustice
Loving is in vain
Bite the hands that feed
Lick the pair that hurts
Baptism to death
Pronounce the word
And you shant be forgotten
Thanks to your truth now
My belief is rotten
#4
Take this away from me
I don’t want to believe
Sometimes it really is hard to see
Drowning under the sea of everyone’s expectations
What if I don’t want to succeed?
What if I don’t want to breathe?
what if I’m tired of rhyming and want to try to defy?
I’m tired of the laughter of less appreciated thoughts
Sickened by the sound of silence
Don’t leave me alone with my thoughts
The same faces spitting out the same words
I really cannot care less
The old days of which I smile and laugh and accept all for who and what they are
I’m apathetic at last
Too sick, too tired to play this game
Press pause on my life’s tape
And rewind till I fall
Where do you run to… when you’re hiding from your thoughts?
#5
Write the X upon my hand
It's better than being told I wasn't good enough
Dye my hair a color you hate
Maybe I'll get the message then
Never really believed it anyway
I hope I remain
Inspire me with something more than me
Because everything there is faded
To a lighter shade I can barely see
It's nice to know I remained to some degree
Turn my back on most I stood for
Not easy living with the consequences
Maybe I'll learn and maybe you will too
Even though it hurts less if we stay this way
I'd like to think it was all just a dream
Let's do that - ignore the facts
Fly away, spread your wings
The wings that burst from your back
While you opened you somewhere else
Some make it work, the awkward colors
Flats and minors are all I use
With a violin I cannot reach
Listen to my pain, can you feel it too?
I hope you do
Hide me from the world fast forward
Let me stay Let me breathe
By myself
I want to know that I can do
Mm, I was a dark, dark child.