How Stella Got Her Groove Back (part 1).
I feel like shit.
I've been sick for around 8 weeks solid, and off the back of my whooping cough debacle my body felt it necessary to contract a cold which has plagued me for three days in fairly violent fashion.
Immune system at an all time low, I'm guessing. Fuck. I'm eating nothing but vegetables and multivitamins for a week!
So, anyway, in addition to this its been a tumultuous term in the land of myself. Emotionally, that is. Have been battered by a almost never ending debate about where my scruples lie and becoming simultaneously aware that although I am the most insightful being on the planet, my Achilles heel is, in fact, being in the situation myself.
So I've been able to do nothing to change or solve this situation except be knocked around by random and most probably innocent circumstances that my brain has chosen to digest in other manners.
Leaving me a sobbing, lonely pile or phlegm, snot, fever and heartache.
Come and get me, fellas.
It is strange, however, what a night of coughing up green stuff, feeling miserable, spilling softdrink all over the fridge, nearly burning the house down and not being able to figure out where the smoke alarm is despite its incessant loud beeping can do for a person.
In many ways, I feel slightly better about myself today.
I no longer feel a deep-seated desire to lie in bed with the doona over my head. I don't feel overly nervous or stressed about the particular situation that has caused me grief. It's still there, granted, but I think I'm okay with it. I feel sick, but my nose has stopped running as such.
So I'm tentatively penciling in the whisper of the idea that things, for the first time in 3 months, may actually be starting to look up.
Or at least not further down.
I've been sick for around 8 weeks solid, and off the back of my whooping cough debacle my body felt it necessary to contract a cold which has plagued me for three days in fairly violent fashion.
Immune system at an all time low, I'm guessing. Fuck. I'm eating nothing but vegetables and multivitamins for a week!
So, anyway, in addition to this its been a tumultuous term in the land of myself. Emotionally, that is. Have been battered by a almost never ending debate about where my scruples lie and becoming simultaneously aware that although I am the most insightful being on the planet, my Achilles heel is, in fact, being in the situation myself.
So I've been able to do nothing to change or solve this situation except be knocked around by random and most probably innocent circumstances that my brain has chosen to digest in other manners.
Leaving me a sobbing, lonely pile or phlegm, snot, fever and heartache.
Come and get me, fellas.
It is strange, however, what a night of coughing up green stuff, feeling miserable, spilling softdrink all over the fridge, nearly burning the house down and not being able to figure out where the smoke alarm is despite its incessant loud beeping can do for a person.
In many ways, I feel slightly better about myself today.
I no longer feel a deep-seated desire to lie in bed with the doona over my head. I don't feel overly nervous or stressed about the particular situation that has caused me grief. It's still there, granted, but I think I'm okay with it. I feel sick, but my nose has stopped running as such.
So I'm tentatively penciling in the whisper of the idea that things, for the first time in 3 months, may actually be starting to look up.
Or at least not further down.