An everlasting testament of residual debris, a neverending tangerine, remaining doubtful,
And countless other nouns and adjectives in a sequence that doesn't make sense. I decided to post on a moment's notice, so I didn't have time for an elaborate, magnificent, eloquent, mortifying, evidently majestic title.
My last week of armying was a terrible one and so it was suggested that I post the events thereof hereunto.
I went to sleep late on Saturday, August 16th, so on Sunday, the day I'm supposed to go back to the army, I woke up at 3PM. I got to the base at 18:40, setting a new record for lateness (but not improving it by much, I assure you). My commander was angsty about me arriving so late but I assured him I would never do that again and that seemed to calm him down. It's my last week and I'm promising him I won't ever do something again and it works. The hilariousness :D
I then discover that some of the other medics have to go stay the night at a nearby base to replace some of the medics there who are going on some war-starting operation. Some medics from ANOTHER base are coming to stay here and I have to be in charge of them and in league with their annoying, life-failing, academic-degree-in-emergency-medicine-holding paramedic. They come along with an armored ambulance, which is terribly uncomfortable to be at even for short journeys and has so little room for equipment you can hardly do anything in it should the need arise. So obviously we had to drive to some point and pick up a sick soldier and take him to Tzfat Hospital, an hour drive in each direction, plus the drive to where the soldier was. Of course our stupid paramedic doesn't know the way to where we need to get and ouf course she sits in front next to the driver, which is where I should be sitting. The front of this shitty vehicle isn't much more comfortable than the back so I don't press the point. Of course the soldier was actually two soldiers and THEIR paramedic who decided he needs to escort them, because they need medical escort. The driver of this Crapbulance rightfully insisted that he's not allowed to carry so many people in the back and our stupid paramedic, THEIR stupid paramedic, and the medics decide they can do some switching, leaving the medics back in my home base for the paramedic to join us. Eventually and after making calls to me commander, once again everyone around me realize they're stupid idiots and the paramedic wanting to escort us understands that WE HAVE OUR OWN PARAMEDIC, if a stupid one. We go to Tzfat, we go back to the base, 4:00AM, everybody's a bloody raving idiot, time to go to sleep.
Luckily no one dares wake me up and I actually sleep as much as I want.
Monday was uneventful as far as I recall and registers low on the Suck-o-Meter.
On Tuesday the whole switching locations thing happens again, only one of the medics who did it last time who was the team manager last time goes home the next day so I go instead. A boring night at this other base and an early wake up the next day to switch back between ambulances and back to our real base.
Wednesday. Again with the switching. As we get to the other base we are told that we need to sit at some other point while some secondary war-starting operation is taking place. This is at 22:30 PM. We stay on the Shitbulance until 3:40AM. At least the conversation revolves around drugs, medicine, psychiatry, chemistry, and the fact that I won't be taking this military shit much longer because I only have a few days left. As before, 4:00AM, sleep time. 9:00AM, we wake up to do the ambulance and equipment switching again, and go back to the base. With five hours sleep I'm not tired enough to fall asleep in the 35ish degrees Celsius temperature in my room.
Thursday, nothing annoying happens.
Friday. Instead of a calm and uneventful day, my commander decides we need to be wearing uniforms and cleaning. We all put on uniforms and clean. He then decided that on Saturday we would be cleaning again. Happy happy, joy joy, as they say.
Then, on Saturday, the team has to go take another solider to Tzfat (this time in a semi-comfortable ambulance) so the two medics left at the base for other duties clean by themselves. Then my commander checks it and says that there will be another cleaning spree some time midweek. Of course this happens on Sunday evening, the only evening I still have to be in the army at all, rather than any other weekday. Then it is revealed that this whole war-starting operation hasn't ended, and so, while also threatening to actually start a war (thus annihilating my month long time off before being discharged), might also mean that I won't be able to go the next day to Eli's Azkara (it's like another funeral, a bit less important to be attended, thirty days after the funeral) which also means I'll be going on leave on Wednesday rather than Monday which means two more whole days for crap to happen and my week to worsen still. Also, because some random territory I never stay at is dirty those of us who were at the base that weekend (including me) run the risk of getting complaints from our base commander which means a trial and some punishment. Sheesh, can't even go on leave without everyone trying to ruin it from every angle.
BUT, none of those things happened and I've been on leave since Monday and who the hell cares about anything anymore.
Tomorrow is arrangements day. Need to go to the bank, check out a martial arts center near that bank, possibly transfer Era's gym card to myself, and buy a tension pole to put on my door. Oh, and call my driving instructor about getting a driver's license. Yeah.
My last week of armying was a terrible one and so it was suggested that I post the events thereof hereunto.
I went to sleep late on Saturday, August 16th, so on Sunday, the day I'm supposed to go back to the army, I woke up at 3PM. I got to the base at 18:40, setting a new record for lateness (but not improving it by much, I assure you). My commander was angsty about me arriving so late but I assured him I would never do that again and that seemed to calm him down. It's my last week and I'm promising him I won't ever do something again and it works. The hilariousness :D
I then discover that some of the other medics have to go stay the night at a nearby base to replace some of the medics there who are going on some war-starting operation. Some medics from ANOTHER base are coming to stay here and I have to be in charge of them and in league with their annoying, life-failing, academic-degree-in-emergency-medicine-holding paramedic. They come along with an armored ambulance, which is terribly uncomfortable to be at even for short journeys and has so little room for equipment you can hardly do anything in it should the need arise. So obviously we had to drive to some point and pick up a sick soldier and take him to Tzfat Hospital, an hour drive in each direction, plus the drive to where the soldier was. Of course our stupid paramedic doesn't know the way to where we need to get and ouf course she sits in front next to the driver, which is where I should be sitting. The front of this shitty vehicle isn't much more comfortable than the back so I don't press the point. Of course the soldier was actually two soldiers and THEIR paramedic who decided he needs to escort them, because they need medical escort. The driver of this Crapbulance rightfully insisted that he's not allowed to carry so many people in the back and our stupid paramedic, THEIR stupid paramedic, and the medics decide they can do some switching, leaving the medics back in my home base for the paramedic to join us. Eventually and after making calls to me commander, once again everyone around me realize they're stupid idiots and the paramedic wanting to escort us understands that WE HAVE OUR OWN PARAMEDIC, if a stupid one. We go to Tzfat, we go back to the base, 4:00AM, everybody's a bloody raving idiot, time to go to sleep.
Luckily no one dares wake me up and I actually sleep as much as I want.
Monday was uneventful as far as I recall and registers low on the Suck-o-Meter.
On Tuesday the whole switching locations thing happens again, only one of the medics who did it last time who was the team manager last time goes home the next day so I go instead. A boring night at this other base and an early wake up the next day to switch back between ambulances and back to our real base.
Wednesday. Again with the switching. As we get to the other base we are told that we need to sit at some other point while some secondary war-starting operation is taking place. This is at 22:30 PM. We stay on the Shitbulance until 3:40AM. At least the conversation revolves around drugs, medicine, psychiatry, chemistry, and the fact that I won't be taking this military shit much longer because I only have a few days left. As before, 4:00AM, sleep time. 9:00AM, we wake up to do the ambulance and equipment switching again, and go back to the base. With five hours sleep I'm not tired enough to fall asleep in the 35ish degrees Celsius temperature in my room.
Thursday, nothing annoying happens.
Friday. Instead of a calm and uneventful day, my commander decides we need to be wearing uniforms and cleaning. We all put on uniforms and clean. He then decided that on Saturday we would be cleaning again. Happy happy, joy joy, as they say.
Then, on Saturday, the team has to go take another solider to Tzfat (this time in a semi-comfortable ambulance) so the two medics left at the base for other duties clean by themselves. Then my commander checks it and says that there will be another cleaning spree some time midweek. Of course this happens on Sunday evening, the only evening I still have to be in the army at all, rather than any other weekday. Then it is revealed that this whole war-starting operation hasn't ended, and so, while also threatening to actually start a war (thus annihilating my month long time off before being discharged), might also mean that I won't be able to go the next day to Eli's Azkara (it's like another funeral, a bit less important to be attended, thirty days after the funeral) which also means I'll be going on leave on Wednesday rather than Monday which means two more whole days for crap to happen and my week to worsen still. Also, because some random territory I never stay at is dirty those of us who were at the base that weekend (including me) run the risk of getting complaints from our base commander which means a trial and some punishment. Sheesh, can't even go on leave without everyone trying to ruin it from every angle.
BUT, none of those things happened and I've been on leave since Monday and who the hell cares about anything anymore.
Tomorrow is arrangements day. Need to go to the bank, check out a martial arts center near that bank, possibly transfer Era's gym card to myself, and buy a tension pole to put on my door. Oh, and call my driving instructor about getting a driver's license. Yeah.