Die, you fuzzy little bastards
So what if has been a year since I have updated...I am now, dammit. Call me "inspired" if you will. Today I got up early because my lazy ass went to bed at 9pm last night. I saw my lovely woman off to work this morning and began to prepare for my day. I had a nice trip to the gym and Home Depot all planned out for myself. I went to Wawa to get my morning sugar-free Rock Star and was going to head to the hardware store when I realized that I had forgotten the paint chips that I needed. No prob, I headed home to grab them and then...
I pull up to the house, get out of the car, and I hear this crazy noise like something scraping wood coming from the gutter above my front porch door. It kind of freaked me out because I was envisioning something springing from the gutter and onto me as I walked under it. Regardless, I ran onto the porch and grabbed the broom I had left there the other day. I am pretty sure at this point that it is a nasty ass squirrel trying to make his way into our house before the winter rush. Hiding mostly behind the screen door I squeezed the handle through and started tapping on the gutter half hoping whatever it was would jump out and half hoping it would not. Well, it did not so I ran up to the office which is right above the area in question. The noise continued and it sounded like it was in the wall to the left of the window. I looked out the window in that direction and did not see anything so then I banged on the wall to try to scare it out. Mistake. Plaster walls + humid summer + angry squirrel-hater = dent in plaster. Sorry B. It's not that bad, nothing a half a cup of plaster and a dab of paint won't fix. But shit, that pissed me off! So, another item is added to the ever-growing pre-sale punch list for this gem of a house. The little bastard is still in there gnawing away at whatever. I hope the little jerk fries himself on an electrical wire. It would serve him or her right. Go right to squirrel hell, you fuzzy fucker.
Whew! I feel better now...
I pull up to the house, get out of the car, and I hear this crazy noise like something scraping wood coming from the gutter above my front porch door. It kind of freaked me out because I was envisioning something springing from the gutter and onto me as I walked under it. Regardless, I ran onto the porch and grabbed the broom I had left there the other day. I am pretty sure at this point that it is a nasty ass squirrel trying to make his way into our house before the winter rush. Hiding mostly behind the screen door I squeezed the handle through and started tapping on the gutter half hoping whatever it was would jump out and half hoping it would not. Well, it did not so I ran up to the office which is right above the area in question. The noise continued and it sounded like it was in the wall to the left of the window. I looked out the window in that direction and did not see anything so then I banged on the wall to try to scare it out. Mistake. Plaster walls + humid summer + angry squirrel-hater = dent in plaster. Sorry B. It's not that bad, nothing a half a cup of plaster and a dab of paint won't fix. But shit, that pissed me off! So, another item is added to the ever-growing pre-sale punch list for this gem of a house. The little bastard is still in there gnawing away at whatever. I hope the little jerk fries himself on an electrical wire. It would serve him or her right. Go right to squirrel hell, you fuzzy fucker.
Whew! I feel better now...