Random things
So my mom sent me home with two boxes of granola bars I've simultaneously been eating and giving away. This morning on my way to work I passed by this tall, scraggly homeless man who let his white hair hang loose around his face. He held out a battered, dirty black baseball cap, shaking it at passersby asking for spare change. When he grinned you could see the gaps in his mouth where teeth should have been. I walked up to him and said:
"Would you like a granola bar?"
"What?"
"I can't give you any money but I can give you a granola bar."
He snatched it from me and shoved it in his jacket pocket. Then he laughed, said thank you, and clapped me on the shoulder. I grinned and walked away.
The thing is though I felt really uncomfortable. Not interacting with him but that he touched me. It felt too familiar, too affectionate. I've only seen this man twice but it bothered me that he touched me. Like he invaded my personal space or something. I felt like I didn't authorize him to touch me. It wasn't lecherous or aggressive (I mean, the clap was slightly rough but it's not like he was going to punch me) and I never felt threatened. I just felt, I don't know, violated. From a touch on a shoulder. If it had been one of my regulars, like the guy who stands on a crate on Powell st and freezes like a statue kicking his leg out behind him and shaking his Starbucks cup as people pass by, I would have been fine with it. That guy I've been passing by for months, maybe even a year, and sometimes it's several times a day. That guy I smile at and sometimes I wink at him, especially if I don't have any granola bars to give away. If he touched me on the shoulder I think I would have been ok with it. But today's guy? I don't know, it irked me. Obviously. It's not like I felt in danger because I can protect myself and while I'm not a kung fu master I do know some moves. And I know self defense. I just. Hmmm. I don't know. Wanted to tell someone a strange man touched me today and I didn't enjoy it.
Also even though it's 58 degrees outside it's EXTREMELY humid and it feels much warmer. Humidity: I'm not a fan.
"Would you like a granola bar?"
"What?"
"I can't give you any money but I can give you a granola bar."
He snatched it from me and shoved it in his jacket pocket. Then he laughed, said thank you, and clapped me on the shoulder. I grinned and walked away.
The thing is though I felt really uncomfortable. Not interacting with him but that he touched me. It felt too familiar, too affectionate. I've only seen this man twice but it bothered me that he touched me. Like he invaded my personal space or something. I felt like I didn't authorize him to touch me. It wasn't lecherous or aggressive (I mean, the clap was slightly rough but it's not like he was going to punch me) and I never felt threatened. I just felt, I don't know, violated. From a touch on a shoulder. If it had been one of my regulars, like the guy who stands on a crate on Powell st and freezes like a statue kicking his leg out behind him and shaking his Starbucks cup as people pass by, I would have been fine with it. That guy I've been passing by for months, maybe even a year, and sometimes it's several times a day. That guy I smile at and sometimes I wink at him, especially if I don't have any granola bars to give away. If he touched me on the shoulder I think I would have been ok with it. But today's guy? I don't know, it irked me. Obviously. It's not like I felt in danger because I can protect myself and while I'm not a kung fu master I do know some moves. And I know self defense. I just. Hmmm. I don't know. Wanted to tell someone a strange man touched me today and I didn't enjoy it.
Also even though it's 58 degrees outside it's EXTREMELY humid and it feels much warmer. Humidity: I'm not a fan.