Tings!
I guess I just wanted to express things are good. Life is good. I am feeling some money pinches right now what with weddings, retreats, presents, dresses, plane tickets, etc. but I'm also trying to be in a place where I recognize some things are more important than money. My life is SO much more important than what's in my bank account. And no, I don't like going into debt, but if I need to use my credit card to pay for some worthwhile experiences, then so be it. I don't ever want to feel hindered because I'm broke. (I mean, to a degree. Flying to New Zealand right now? No. Paying for a retreat or going out to dinner with friends? Yes. Totally worth it experiences.)
I want things to feel easy and open and free and for this knot about money to loosen. God, I give this to you, I put this in your hands. You know what's best for me.
Also lately my life just feels so big. It feels so much more than a relationship or my job. For many moons I've been caught up in the little things. On Wednesday I hung out with my kung fu master friend D and he turned to me in the car and said, "R, the world is transitioning from darkness to light and you are here to help bring that world into being." When he said that to me I felt such a sense of peace and something clicked. I felt like, "Yes. Thank you. Someone else recognizes that." I certainly feel like that's what I want to do anyway. Ever since then I feel more at peace. My restlessness has dropped off and I feel like I can be patient and watch as things unfold before me. I know I won't be at DI forever, but I'm there for now and that's ok. Things are ok.
You all may think I'm crazy for saying/thinking/believing I'm here to bring lightness to the world but I've experienced a shift around that too. For a long time I've worried people would think I was crazy because of the things I believe and the experiences I've had. Today I experienced a switch because I said, "So? So what if people think I'm crazy? Let them!" I think about a movie ahimsa114 and I saw forever ago about a mental institution and it was all about their experiences. They had so much fun. I don't remember much about the movie (including the title) but I know I enjoyed it. I remember thinking at the time being crazy isn't such a bad thing.
I may be crazy but you know what? That's ok, I'm cool with it. At least life will be fun. . .
I want things to feel easy and open and free and for this knot about money to loosen. God, I give this to you, I put this in your hands. You know what's best for me.
Also lately my life just feels so big. It feels so much more than a relationship or my job. For many moons I've been caught up in the little things. On Wednesday I hung out with my kung fu master friend D and he turned to me in the car and said, "R, the world is transitioning from darkness to light and you are here to help bring that world into being." When he said that to me I felt such a sense of peace and something clicked. I felt like, "Yes. Thank you. Someone else recognizes that." I certainly feel like that's what I want to do anyway. Ever since then I feel more at peace. My restlessness has dropped off and I feel like I can be patient and watch as things unfold before me. I know I won't be at DI forever, but I'm there for now and that's ok. Things are ok.
You all may think I'm crazy for saying/thinking/believing I'm here to bring lightness to the world but I've experienced a shift around that too. For a long time I've worried people would think I was crazy because of the things I believe and the experiences I've had. Today I experienced a switch because I said, "So? So what if people think I'm crazy? Let them!" I think about a movie ahimsa114 and I saw forever ago about a mental institution and it was all about their experiences. They had so much fun. I don't remember much about the movie (including the title) but I know I enjoyed it. I remember thinking at the time being crazy isn't such a bad thing.
I may be crazy but you know what? That's ok, I'm cool with it. At least life will be fun. . .