3 days left....
So its been quite a while since i have said anything on this thing...but i got a lot in my head and i dont know if will all come out but ill see what happenes. First im so sick being sick, i know have pnemonia and strained muscles in my left side (the landed me in the ER cause i couldnt breathe) But i have to get better because i get to see Jay on Friday. After 2 months i get to see him and i cannot wait. Theres so much pant up stuff inside of me for him, regardless of all the sex im going to catch up on this weekend ;) hehe i get o be a girlfriend again. And not that im not always but i get to feel like one, i get the kisses oh god i miss the kissing, the being held, the looks, the everything that i havnt had in so long. I miss everything about him, but i dont have to get upset about it, because i get to hear his voice everyday and i get to kiss him on the phone everynight, and those are the things that keep me going. I watched I heart huckabees tonight, and the are so right, you go though you rlife getting all worked up and having some wonderful thing happen only to have it all fall, or you get a chance to stop thinking and just be, but you always have to go back to the drama of life, it is always going to be like this, no matter how old we r or what is going on, you cannot get away from it. Maybe thats why im such a stoner? i dunno! But you just gotta remember that no matter what drama is gong on, you can always step back and look at it and laugh, whether it takes years to step back and laugh about it, you can still find something good in everything bad, and i know i sound all wierd and like i dont know, but i just need to get random shit out. I had the greatest trip with Spark and Sean and all the boys over at 404. I learned alot about people and i feel like i have 20 new best friends, and it was the greatest finding ever. There are so many people that i ahve met in the last year and a half that have changed me in so many ways. I have been in more drama in the last year that has made me grow up alot, and learn alot about life, the good, the bad and the shit that you never wanna have to deal with. And im still standing, yea i may have failed out of school, i may have lost my boyfriend to the navy, but in all of this im still standing, i see jay friday, im kicking ass in school now, and things are looking up. I have good friends, good music, the best friend and boyfriend in the world, and my cat....what could be better?! Sorry if this doesnt make sense to anyone, for some reason it makes perfect sense to me.