(no subject)

[krshdummie]

so yea.....its one of those days...i dont know what set me off...i have 14 more days and i get to see him, 2 weeks is nothing...hell ive already gone 6 weeks...i just am having a hard time right now cause im so fucking stressed out.....it could be all the ryan shit going on (ryan flipped and had like a breakdown and is now bipolar) cause that doesnt help anything, it could be the stress of school...it could be that im just really getting lonley and i dont like it...ive done good, did better with jay leaving than i ever thought i would do, and i think its cause i just really metally prepared myself for it, and now i just cant handle it anymore, i just really need to have him here now, i miss him so much....its just getting harder and harder to not talk to him, i so need a hug right now, and hes the only that will make it better....i think ive been around to many people who are happy or seem happy, and the one thing that truely makes me happy is not here...

september 17-19 jay will be home, he will have to be on base by 9 all those nights so if anyone wants to drive to great lakes with me anytime that weekend, let me know...and im having people over tomorrow night at my new place in dekalb, i want everyone who doesnt have anything going on to come here, cause i wanna see everyone...

Im always assuming the worst
And you're going on nonetheless
And theres nothing to cushion your heart led fall
Letters from further away keep pulling me close to home
And theres something to cushion my callous sighs
And I know that you're hoping for longer goodbyes
Embracing forever and falling in your eyes

Pouring over photographs
Im living in your letters
Breathe deeply from this envelope it smells like you and i cant be without that scent
Its filling me with all you mean to me
to me